


Project Phoenix

by Shattering_Aurora



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: (kinda?), Asgard (Marvel), Cheating, Contracts, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Good(ish) Loki, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Loki's Adventures on Midgard, Marvel Universe, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), References to Norse Religion & Lore, Shapeshifter Loki (Marvel), Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-21 18:46:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 48,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13747059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shattering_Aurora/pseuds/Shattering_Aurora
Summary: Kate's a normal teenage Midgardian girl. She's much too young to deal with falling in love with The God of Mischief; especially when, according to her religion, he isn't even an actual god. But, when there's an immortal man living in your closet, it's difficult for things to be "normal."Actively revamping; originally called "An Inside Job"





	1. The Manifestation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Moods are by Two Steps From Hell. The setup if you so chose to look up the song is [Song Title], [Album]

_Status: Dormant_  

 

* * *

 

Kate walked down the dark hallway, the floor creaking as she went. If she ever decided to sneak out this most certainly wasn’t the way to go. Once she reached the light switch located next to her mother’s bedroom door, she stopped and grabbed the switch. “And God said,” she began, then flipped on the switch. “Let there be light! And there was light.” It wasn’t something new; whenever she turned on a light while in darkness she said it.

She continued the few feet past her mother’s doorway and to her bedroom doorway to peer in. It was the biggest out of all the bedrooms and she got it all to herself. Ever since her sister had moved out for college, she had redecorated and made it her own. Some nights when she couldn’t sleep she would stay up until midnight reading online or writing. As long as she was quiet enough as to not wake up her parents, whose rooms she was sandwiched between, she could do whatever she wanted.

She walked into her dad’s room, which was situated at the end of the hallway and whom she shared a wall with, and went over to his desk. He was the kind of person who had a little bit of everything, so asking for what she needed had been relatively easy. Kate opened the middle drawer on the filing cabinet, pulling out the small speaker. It could be attached by USB and the video she had been watching was too quiet to hear, even at full volume.

She shut the drawer and walked out of her dad’s room, turning the corner to her room. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a figure in the darkness. Her hand flew up to flip the light switch, but it was so awkwardly placed that she merely hit the wall with her hand still a few inches away. The thing in the room grabbed her bony wrist and pinned her there, expertly staying the shadows and away from identification.

Kate, like every other teenager in the modern world, had a mental disorder. Her anxiety had given her countless panic attacks and the only thing stopping her from submitting to one at that moment was the medication that kept her calm despite the adrenaline coursing through her body.

She held up the speaker, which was surprisingly hefty despite the fact that it was only slightly larger than the average pencil case. “I will cut you if you don’t let go of me, you rotten egghead.”

What happened next was what Kate least expected to happen. The thing… _laughed._ It still didn’t let go of her hand, but it _laughed._

A cold hand grabbed her other wrist, making her drop the speaker. She tried to scream. It cut her off by seizing her and taking her into the shadows so suddenly that her voice was rendered useless. The thing was cold and sent a chill down her spine. She was used to being cold in the poorly-insulated house, so she didn’t really mind all that much. The thing she did mind, however, was whatever was grabbing her and holding her captive in her own bedroom.

It held her in the darkness, one hand over her mouth and the other with both her wrists behind her back. “Do not scream,” it whispered in her ear. It sent chills down her spine. Oddly enough, she recognized the voice. Where she recognized the voice from, she couldn’t remember. It always seemed that in the moments she needed her memory most it enjoyed walking out on her.

 _To hell with that,_ she thought. As the creature removed it’s grip on her face, she let out the loudest, most blood-curdling scream she could muster.

The thing released its grip on her completely and she fled from her room, meeting her parents at the bottom of the stairs. Her heart was racing. Her breath was shallow.

“There’s someone in my room,” she gasped as she hugged her dad. “It grabbed me.”

Kate’s parents shared a glance and she was transferred to her mom’s arms. Her dad grabbed a baseball bat her brother had leaned against the wall that afternoon and ventured upstairs.

Despite her brain telling her not to, she let go of her mother and followed her father. “He stayed in the darkness and he was really cold.” She was certain that within a short period of time bruises would form on her wrist as proof of what had occurred.

Her father reached her room, flipping on the lights with the baseball bat in the air. Kate peeked around his back, alarmed to find nothing in her view. Her father checked under her bed and in her closet, but nothing was there. He traveled around Kate, checking all of the other rooms just to be sure.

As he was looking in the master bath, a cold hand slipped underneath Kate’s hair and around her neck. It covered her mouth and something breathed in her ear. Even when she tried to scream, her vocal chords didn’t work.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to talk,” it whispered.

Half of her wanted to scoff, while the other half wanted to run as far away as she could. She chose the latter and slipped away from its grasp, whirling around at her doorway. There was nothing there. Absolutely nothing.

“Dad!” she called, her voice shaking. “It’s still here.”

Her father returned, checking the bedroom once more. Her mother had joined them upstairs. She put her hand on Kate’s shoulder.

“Are you sure it’s not just the medication? You did just recently start a new dosage.”

Kate swallowed. She _had_ just recently started a large dosage of new medication and some of the other effects were still lingering. But, they usually went away after a week. For now, the explanation would work. It was just her medication messing with her senses. When she went to her next psychiatric appointment she’d ask about the symptoms. “Maybe...” Kate said, nodding. She had to reassure herself. “Yeah, it probably is.”

Her mother hugged her. “We’ll call the psychiatrist tomorrow and ask him about it, okay?”

Kate nodded her head. “Okay.”

Her mother kissed her head and went back downstairs. Her father soon followed after taking out his gun and some ammo, just in case, and leaving them in his room with a prompt ‘don’t you dare even think about touching it’. It wasn’t necessary; Kate knew not to go near it since she had never actually fired a gun in her life. She turned her back to the dangerous weapon and picked up the speaker from her floor.

She settled down on her bed, fiddling with the audio settings until the speaker was working and continued her movie. The cold fingers brushed against her ear, but she saw nothing in her peripheral vision. She tried to ignore the sound of her heart beating in her ears. She knew for a fact that if she looked down at her chest she would see her skin rising and falling with the pumping organ. She always could when her heart rate was high. “You’re not real,” she said through gritted teeth.

It spoke like a gust of wind. “Yes, I am.”

This had to be her medication. “That’s just what a not-real thing would say,” she shot back.

Kate heard what sounded like a snort and her door shut. She heard the handle jiggle as it locked. Her heart sped up. Heat flushed her torso and she removed her jacket. Gravity had shut the door. The wood was uneven somehow and sometimes it shut on its own. It hadn’t locked—that was her imagination.

She continued her movie, ignoring whatever was going on. None of it was real. It was her medication messing with her brain. She would either lessen her dosage or adjust to the symptoms and they would go away; that’s how it always worked with these types of drugs.

She breathed in through her nose. _One,_ she thought. She breathed out through her mouth, blowing on her screen unintentionally. _Two._ She breathed in again. _Three._ She breathed out again. _Four._ She had to stay calm. Once she was cool again she could watch her movie to take her mind away from the attack. Then she would be okay again.

As she breathed again, there was a whisper in her ear. “Five,” it breathed. She could have sworn she felt lips brush against the top of her ear.

She gritted her teeth and ignored it. She breathed out. “Six,” it said.

This wasn’t working, not with her anxiety taunting her like this. If the manifestation was going to count along with her, there was no way she would be able to calm down.

“Seven,” it said as she breathed in. She furrowed her brow. She had to get to ten, just for her own satisfaction. Once she got to ten, she wouldn’t restart like usually. She would find some other way to calm down. _Eight,_ she thought. She just had to think of the number before it could say it.

“Eight,” it said with her thoughts.

She closed her eyes and cradled herself. She breathed in deeply. _Nine._ She was almost to ten. She was almost there. She could do this. Then, she would find another way to calm down. She would meditate or punch something. Sometimes punching something helped. It physically got rid of the adrenaline without fueling it, instead of just letting it trickle its way out of her systems.

She held her breath, waiting for a few moments as the carbon dioxide built up in her body. Her record for breath holding was 40 seconds. She didn’t have a plan of beating it, but maybe she could just to get the make-believe thing beside her to shut up.

“You’ll pass out if you do that, or is that your plan? I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

She turned away from the voice, holding her breath as long as possible. Maybe she would beat her record. She mimicked the motion of breath to try to trick herself, artificially enlarging her lungs and making them smaller just to hold her breath a little longer. But she couldn’t hold it any longer. She released her breath in a loud huff and the thing beside her brushed against her ear. “Ten,”

Kate opened her eyes and whirled around, letting her clenched fist hit the air without holding back. It smacked into something, the something proceeding to stumble back, trip over her laundry hamper, and painfully hit the wall. Thankfully, it didn’t leave a dent.

Whatever was keeping the thing invisible disappeared to reveal a tall, pale man. Kate stared with wide eyes as he picked himself up and brushed himself off as if he hadn’t just slammed his head against a wall.

Kate’s mouth hung agape. The man in front of her didn’t exactly look like a man, yet a man all the same. He was pale, with jet black hair and bright green eyes like no others. “You’re—” she began, but she didn’t know what to say. How did one address someone who had magically turned un-invisible in front of them, and looked exactly like their favorite character?

“Loki, yes, I know.”

Kate took her computer off of her lap, her panic flushing away. She was numb in a mixture of awe and fear, yet the adrenaline she needed wasn’t flooding her systems as it should. She shifted her legs so one was crossed like before and the other was pulled up against her chest. If this Loki-looking person tried to attack her, she would be able to leap away. She swallowed. “Dad!” she called, not taking her eyes off of the man in front of her as she turned her head towards the door.

Like lightning, the man pinned her against the wall with his hand over her mouth. She squeaked as her head slammed against the calendar she kept beside her bed.

“Do not blow my cover,” he said through gritted teeth.

There was no reply to Kate’s call for help, she assumed because her door was shut and her family was downstairs. She realized she was alone in this fight. So, she did the only thing she could think of doing; she parted her lips and drug her tongue up and down the man’s pale hand, doing her best not to flinch at the strange taste. She wasn’t sure that was how hands were supposed to taste; it wasn’t as if she _knew_ how hands were supposed to taste.

He recoiled. “You vile thing!” He briefly inspected at his palm to make sure she hadn’t mortally wounded him with her saliva. Once he knew he was unharmed, he wiped his hand off using the sheets on her bed.

In the moment of distraction, Kate leaped to her freedom, grabbing the man called Loki by the collar and using him as she swung around. She landed on her feet, moving towards the door. She had to make it to the door. She was the fastest kid in her school, she always had been the fastest. Nobody could beat her.

Yet, he was faster. With the speed of an Olympian, he pinned her against the door. She hit the solid wood with a thud and her vocal chords vibrated without her intention so that she yipped. The house around her shook the slightest bit like when her father walked after a hard day at work. The man pinning her to the door leaned in so his face with less than an inch from her’s. “If you scream, you will die.”

Kate narrowed her eyes. _Is_ that _his best threat?_ She inwardly laughed. “Hallelujah,” she said through gritted teeth.

A few moments after, a voice called up the stairs. “You okay, Kat?” It was her mom.

“Just fine!” the man pinning her against the door called in her voice. “I just hit my knee against my dresser!”

“Ok!”

The man looked back down at Kate, her hair moving as he breathed in her face. She noticed his breath wasn’t all that awful. Had he brushed his teeth before attacking her? “Now, if you let me explain I will tell you as to why I am here, mortal,” he whispered. “Will you shut your mouth for one moment and let me speak?”

Kate simply glared back. She wasn’t just going to let this ‘Loki’ win. So, she opened her mouth. She didn’t make any noise, but her mouth was still open. It wasn’t her best quip, but she couldn’t exactly talk, so it would have to do. Besides, being a smartass had always been one of her strong suits, whether it was intentionally or not.

“You think you’re funny?” he grabbed her hair with his free hand, pulling it just enough that it hurt, but not enough to pull her head along with it. He leaned more of his weight against her head, pressing her skull painfully into the wood. With his elbow, he shut her mouth.

Through gritted teeth, she spoke. “Get. Off. Of. Me.”

The man scoffed. “You think you can command a god?”

“There’s only one god and it certainly isn’t you.” Kate allowed her knees to buckle, leaving the man to support her as a deadweight.

He smiled, flashing white teeth. “You weight one hundred pounds, mortal. If you wanted to make this more difficult, that was not the answer.”

Kate simply glared back at him.

“Are you going to listen to me?” the supposed god asked.

“Give me a reason to, _other mortal.”_

She made him laugh again. Either this man found everything funny, or his laughter was fake. Kate assumed it was the latter of the two. “I should tell you, I am most certainly not mortal. I have lived thousands of years before your birth could even be considered, and I shall live on many thousand years after your death. And reason for you to listen to me? I can make you _someone.”_

Kate raised an eyebrow. “Another person on the list of those who have been sexually assaulted as children?”

The man looked genuinely stunned. He was silent for a moment, his face contorted. “What? No. Why would you think that?”

In the moment of his confusion, Kate began to support herself again with one foot. “Because I’m fifteen, you idiot, and I’ve been pursued before.” She used her other knee to kick him square in the crotch. It was her turn to be genuinely stunned when he barely flinched.

“I told you I am not mortal, little one,” he snarled, his voice a thick with annoyance.

“So, you’re a eunuch?”

The man closed his eyes, his face showing how done he was with Kate’s lack of compliance.

She smiled as best as she could while having her cheeks squished. Annoying this man was actually quite fun. Especially because his pride made him fall for the bait so easily. “Fine, fine.” She did her best to lighten up. She was still trying to figure out how to pay attention and obey her instincts, and for some reason, they were telling her to listen to what he had to say. “If you get off of me I’ll listen to you. I make no promises I won’t call the cops afterward, but I’ll listen to you.”

He sighed. Kate heard him say ‘thank the Norns.’ under his breath. And, although she was willing to comply for the moment, she had to get in one last gibe in an attempt to annoy him until his end. “Thank you, Norns.”

The pale man gave her a look but relaxed his grip on her brown locks. Kate began to support herself again as he stepped back. “Sit,” he said, gesturing to the bed.

Kate raised her eyebrows, shifting her weight and crossing her arms. She looked at him.

He sighed and gave her a flat look. “Please.”

“I suppose I will,” Kate sighed, tilting her head and looking up at him with sad eyes and clasped hands. “My bed _does_ look rather comfy.” She hopped onto her bed, settling down as best as her frayed nerves would allow. She gestured to the center of the room. “State your case.”


	2. The Power Play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Possessed Gramophone, Halloween

“Remember which one of us is the most powerful sorcerer in all of the realms, girl,” the supposed-Loki spat.

Kate rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh. As I said, state your case.”

The pale man sighed but walked to the center of the room. He hesitated, took a deep breath, opened his mouth, shut his mouth, opened it again, and finally said: “I need your help.”

Kate did her best to stifle her laughter. “You need my help, eh?” she asked. This man was definitely a pedo. “Right. I’m gonna go call the cops now.” She began to get up, but the pedo grabbed her upper arm. She would definitely have some interesting bruises tomorrow morning.

She looked up at his green eyes. They looked pleading—completely honestly pleading. Kate’s heart bled, and she wished she wasn’t so compassionate. She sat back down and wrenched her arm from his tight grasp. “Fine, I’ll listen. But if you touch me again I will scream so loudly your ears will bleed, and your head will burst, leaving your supposedly-godly blood to pour out and soak into this carpet, turning it a beautiful shade of red that will perfectly match my wall’s white truffle color.”

Loki scoffed but backed away. “We both know you’re all bark and no bite, girl. Your threats won’t work on me.”

 _“Excuse_ me?” Kate scoffed. Now he was getting under her skin. She stood up, stepping towards him so in order to see his face she had to crane her neck. She was so close she could feel the heat coming off of him. Why wasn’t he cold like before? “My threats most certainly aren’t empty, you little—”

He smiled.

Kate was so dumbfounded she lost her train of thought. What made this man think it was a good time to smile at her? With those cute little crow’s feet and his black hair shining in the dim lamplight? Kate furrowed her brow and hid the smile that attempted to surface on her lips. Why was he making her smile?

“Go ahead, _Kat,_ spill my blood.”

The only logical reason—no, the _only_ reason—was because he looked exactly like her favorite character of all time, and her favorite actor of all time. He looked exactly like her celebrity crush. Of course, he made her smile. Kate stared up at him. “Don’t call me Kat. It is reserved for friends and family. You, sir, may call me by my full name: Katherine.”

“Don’t avoid it, _Katherine,_ do as I say and spill my blood.”

“No.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Really? You dare ignore a direct command?”

Kate pursed her lips. She had to win. Not only because of her competitive spirit but because she couldn’t scream loud enough to make his ears bleed. A small part of her also wanted to see where this conversation could lead, but she denied it and pushed it down. “I don’t take orders from anyone but myself.” She sat back down. As long as she continued the conversation and didn’t allow him to fire back a retort, she would win this battle. “Why do you need my help?”

He looked to be holding back a taunt, Kate noticed. “Are you going to allow me to explain, or are you going to threaten me again?” He was acting as if he was Kate’s parent. She could barely stand the two she already had; if he kept acting like this, she really would call the cops. Yes, she most certainly would.

“For now, the former.” She crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall.

“Very well.” He relaxed. “As you know, I am Loki of Asgard, though you shall refer to me as ‘My Lord,’ ‘Your Highness,’ ‘Master,’ ‘Your Majesty’ or anything similar to the given examples.”

Kate couldn’t help but snort and roll her eyes. _Who does he think he is? He’s so big-headed!_

As the thought surfaced in her brain, it felt as though ten million other new thoughts were running through her head at once. Her mind felt confused, slightly-muddled, and crowded. _And I suggest you learn to keep your thoughts to yourself, Kitty Kat._

Kate made an animalistic noise, something between a grunt and a squeal. She visibly recoiled. “What did you just do?”

The heated headache of overcrowded thoughts dispersed as fast as it came. Loki looked pleased. “Simply eavesdropped upon your thoughts, Katherine.” His lips curled into a cunning smile. “So you might want to keep them in check.”

She gritted her teeth. Her head tilted abruptly. “Keep my _thoughts_ in _check?”_

“Yes, mortal, I shouldn’t have to say it twice.” Loki grabbed a plastic baggie of cookies from Kate’s dresser. He picked one out, biting into it before returning to stand in front of her. “Which brings me to rule number two; believe it or not, I’m here to keep you safe. So, you do as I say.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to fly,” Kate leaned forward and snatched the snack from Loki’s hand. In one bite he had eaten more than half of the chocolate chip cookie that she had spent time and effort making just that afternoon, without even asking if he could have it. Kate glared directly into his eyes, practically forcing him to stare at her. His gaze looked annoyed, yet curious at the same time. Kate decided she would stomp out his curiosity; if she was being forced to play his game, then they would play by _her_ rules. That was _her_ cookie, and she had been saving it as a midnight snack. She brought extra saliva onto her tongue and licked the cookie before returning it to his hand. _“Enjoy.”_ Her voice was as sharp and cold as a sharpened icicle.

Loki’s lip raised in disgust. He was, after all, touching her spit. She hadn’t brushed her teeth since that morning, and she’d eaten plenty of food since then so it couldn’t have been clean. Saliva wasn’t necessarily all that clean in the first place.

Kate put her elbow on her thigh, resting her chin on her knuckles and looking at the pale man in front of her expectantly. “Go ahead.” She nodded towards the slobbery cookie. “You took my food, so eat it.” Kate knew Loki was cocky—she’d watched the movies before. She also happened to know about Loki’s competitive spirit. His pride wouldn’t let him back down from this; he would eat that cookie even if he vomited it back up right after swallowing the last bite.

Loki’s eyelids rippled in a blink. He raised the cookie to his lips and bit into it, chewing it and eating the last piece to Kate’s satisfaction, staring at Kate the entire time. He even opened his mouth as proof that he had swallowed it. “I’ve tasted your spit before. If you wish to faze me, you’ll have to try harder.”

Kate’s smile wavered. “Really? When have you—” she raised her hands and formed air quotes “‘—tasted my spit’ before?” She rested her chin back on her knuckles. She knew he was just trying to mess with her.

“Why, the many, many times your lips have been against mine.” He lowered his lids, half-smiling. “Am I really so forgetful, dear Kitty Kat?”

Kate responded with a perfectly flat tone-of-voice. “Don’t call me that.”

“Why not?”

Kate stood up on her bed. The mattress shifted beneath her weight, but she was able to balance and stood taller than Loki. “Because I said so. And, in case you haven’t noticed, we’ve never kissed before, you idiot.” She smiled sarcastically and tapped him on the tip of his nose before jumping off of her bed and walking over to her desk. She leaned against the tabletop, cracking her neck so it popped three times on each side.

“Maybe you haven’t, but I certainly have, mortal.”

Kate’s brow furrowed. Her mouth opened the slightest bit as her blue-green eyes looked at Loki. Did he realize that what he had said made absolutely no sense? The perfume she wore floated up and tickled her senses, _that_ made sense. The feel of the wooden desk underneath her hands made sense and so did the lingering taste of the cookie and the dull buzzing sound of her lamp. Seeing Loki, that made as much sense as the last sentence he spoke.

“Oh, are you confused, little one?” Loki walked towards her, looming over her as a tall, green mass in the dim lighting. “I suppose I should explain, as to not upset your limited mind.”

Kate casually looked up at him. His eyes glowed like a cat’s. _“Limited?”_

“Yes, _limited.”_

Kate narrowed her eyes. “I’ll have you know—”

Loki held up his hand. Kate stopped her words in their tracks. “You are Midgardian, and much lesser compared to an Asgardian in all ways.”

“Okay, now you’re just—”

He shushed her. “I did not say you could talk.”

“Excuse me? This is America! I have every—”

Loki reached up to her face, resting his cold hand on her neck. He put his thumb just below her voice box and she was stunned into pure silence. She made no attempt to speak again.

“There is a thing called time travel,” Loki began, his voice low and threatening. “If I do not like the outcome of this situation, I will turn back time, and you and I will be trapped in this conversation until I get my way. Am I understood?”

Kate wanted to bite him. Her jaw was the strongest part of her body, and she could probably kill him if she angled herself just the right way. Instead, she kept the darkness hidden underneath and remained silent.

“Am I understood?” Loki repeated, adding pressure to her throat with his thumb.

For the first time, Kate was frozen in fear. Pure, unadulterated fear. It wasn’t the fear she felt in a panic attack, where there was no real danger, this situation was dangerous and if she moved the wrong way it could mean the end of her life. Still, the fire in her gut told her not to answer yes. She wasn’t just going to give in to his commands. She didn’t play perfectly by the rules anywhere else in life, why should this situation apply? “And every time we will be equals, dear Loki,” she said. Her voice sounded rough and hoarse. “You need my help. If you kill me or hurt me in any way that makes me say ‘no,’ any hoops you’ve jumped through will be for nothing. No matter how many times you reverse the clock and retry with different tactics, you have no more power over me than I over you. So, go ahead, snap my neck, crush my windpipe or simply cover my nose and mouth so I cannot get oxygen. If you do not control your actions, you don’t get what you want.”

Loki gritted his teeth and Kate was lifted up off the desk and the ground. He pushed her against the wall and held her by her throat, leaving her to gag and sputter while over her desk. Kate allowed him to do so, meeting his eyes despite the colors that were beginning to dance across her vision. He held her there and her lungs screamed for air like they never had before, even when she was training herself to hold her breath for longer periods of time. Tears welled in her eyes in realization that this would probably be the last thing she saw before arriving in heaven. If Loki really did travel back in time each time he failed, what attempt was he on, that she simply couldn’t remember the events from before?

A sense of calm washed over her, which she knew was because there wasn’t enough oxygen in her brain. She smiled at Loki. “See ya next time, Rock Lokster.”

Then, she blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The nickname is supposed to be a play on "Rock Lobster," which I may use later on...


	3. The Green-Eyed Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: To Glory, Invincible

Kate felt consciousness poking at her, but her eyelids were heavy and she didn’t feel like opening them right away. She swallowed. Her breath was still fresh and the movie she had started was filtering into her ears. She was in a state of something akin to limbo; she was aware enough to see she was falling asleep, but not aware enough to be able to properly comprehend words and phrases. Thoughts went in odd directions and found strange ways to stumble upon mainly kids cartoons from her past.

She felt comfortably warm, which was strange since usually when she fell asleep without a blanket she didn’t actually go unconscious. She eventually would grow too cold and that would wake her up. She tried to remember what she had been doing that allowed her to fall asleep without a blanket on… the floor?

Kate opened her eyes to her blinding computer screen light and groaned. She lifted up her hand and rubbed her eyes, feeling around until she was able to close her laptop and open her eyes to the darkness of her room. She sat up and her head was greeted by the underneath of her desk. With a groan, she lifted up her hand again, rubbing the spot where her scalp and the desk had met and checked for blood. There was nothing.

The memories of what had happened who-knows-how-long ago filtered back into the front of her brain. She looked at her wrists and added pressure to them and the spot where Loki had grabbed her arm. There was no pain or any sign of bruising. “Was it a dream?” Kate muttered to herself.

She crawled out from underneath her desk and stretched. It could have been a very, very vivid dream. That would make sense. She remembered reading somewhere that a person is more likely to remember their dreams when they are beginning to wake up because they are more aware. Plus, she had woken up just as she was about to die. The article had said that people can’t dream past death because the brain doesn’t know what comes after. But the movie was still playing when she woke up, Kate realized, and she couldn’t remember any of the plot up to the point she was apparently at. Even if she had fallen asleep, she would have remembered something.

Kate walked to the center of her room. “Loki?”

There was nothing.

She spun around, scanning her room for any sign of the man with glowing green eyes. Kate looked at her feet, staring at them in thought. In her peripheral vision, she saw her clock glowing 8:23 PM. She shook her head. It had to have been a dream.

She began to walk towards her door, grabbing the handle and turning it. It abruptly stopped. Kate furrowed her eyebrows. The curtains were open and she was in the same clothes as before, and the only time she ever locked her door was when she was changing. She unlocked it and looked behind her back. “Loki?” she called again.

There was still nothing.

Kate turned back and opened her door, entering the hallway and going into the bathroom. She turned on the lights and looked at her neck. There was no sign of any sort of bruising. She ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m going insane.”

She ran down the steps, swatting away a fly as it buzzed by her head. _Ah, spring, the season for bugs to return from hell to annoy everyone,_ she thought. Kate went into the kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbing a container of juice and a cheese stick.

“Hi, honey,” her mother said from the family room. “How are you?”

“Fine,” Kate shrugged. Her mother didn’t like hearing about other people’s dreams, so Kate decided not to ask her about her’s. She unwrapped the cheese stick and took a bite after putting the container of juice down. She rested the cheese stick back on the counter, turning around to go get a cup.

She reached for one with a flower design on it, returning to her cheese and the juice to find a fly resting on the mozzarella, nibbling away little tiny bites of her snack. Kate grumbled but swatted the fly away. It didn’t move a single bit, continuing its feast without a care in its tiny little fly world. Kate swatted again. Still, the fly ignored her. She looked down at it. She didn’t want to kill it. If she did, she would have to deal with the bug guts afterward.

She sighed and picked up the cheese stick, walking over to the back door and slipping on her flip-flops.

“Where are you going?” her mother asked from where she sat on the couch reading.

“There’s a fly on my cheese stick so I’m gonna go take him outside.” Kate opened the door and walked out. She stopped and leaned back to stick her head back in. “Then get another cheese stick.”

Kate let the door swing shut behind her and sat down on the steps. She brought the cheese stick up close to her face. “Be free, little buddy.” She put the cheese stick down and was about to get up when she noticed that the fly’s buggish eyes were glowing green the slightest bit. Her eyes grew wide. Had it been a dream and was this just a really weird fly, or was it something else?

“You’re really cute for a fly,” she commented absent-mindedly as she removed one of her flip-flops. “You’d look really good in—” she paused and pretended to be thinking of something, all the while bringing the flip-flop up to the perfect angle “—shoe fly pie.” As she smacked down the flip-flop, the fly moved out of the way. It was really quite miraculous that it moved just before her shoe hit the cheese.

“Ah-ha!” Kate exclaimed in triumph, jumping up and watching the fly in the summer’s evening twilight. “I knew it!” She lunged at the creature and, after a few attempts, captured it in her hands, trying not to immediately let go as it flew around in its new prison. She brought her hands up to her face and smiled. “You better tell me where the heck those bruises went, you little harpy.”

With those words, she went inside and back up to her room.

A smile of devilish satisfaction sat upon Kate’s lips as she used her elbows to flick on the lights. She shut the door behind her with her foot and looked around, discovering a glass jar and a book she could use.

Kate released the little bug, grabbing the book and mason jar as fast as she could. She narrowed her eyes and her irises darted around her eyes are she followed the creature. As it landed on a wall, she snuck up towards it and smacked the rim around the fly.

Realizing it had been spotted, the bug flew off the wall, only to be found it was trapped inside the jar. Kate slid the book carefully underneath and moved the little prison to rest on her desk. She sat down in her chair backward, resting her arms on the back of it and lowering her head so she was level with the fly-prison.

“Listen up, Loki, you better tell me where those bruises went. It wasn’t a dream, I know it wasn’t. You can’t play tricks on me any longer, so tell me.”

The fly simply buzzed around for freedom.

She glared for a moment, her eyes widening briefly in realization. “Okay, I suppose you are a fly, and flies can’t talk. So, how about this.” She glared again. “That chamber only has a certain amount of air, eventually, you will run out of oxygen. So, you either die or you give in and talk. When you’re ready to talk, just slam into the glass so that you buzz—” Kate grabbed her computer, looking up morse code “—Like, for a second, then pause, then buzz for another second, then another pause, then buzz for another second, then pause again for, like, two seconds, then buzz for another second, then pause, then do, like, a really short buzz, then pause again, then another second-long buzz. That’s morse code for ‘OK,’ so I’ll know what you’re saying.”

The fly stopped flying and landed on the book, seeming to stare at Kate.

“Okay, um how about this.” Kate looked around. When she didn’t find anything of use, she looked back at the little fly and put her fingernail on the desk. “This is morse code of o.” Kate tapped on her desk three times, brief pauses between each tap. “This is morse code for k.” She tapped again, a shorter tap followed it, then a longer tap. “So, when you’re beginning to slowly suffocate in that tiny fly body, just tell me.”

Kate got up off of her chair, completely forgetting about her cheese and juice, and restarted her movie while relaxing on her bed.

By the time the movie was finished the fly had barely budged. “Man, you’re a stubborn little thing. That must have been forever in fly-time,” Kate commented after sitting back down on her desk chair. “I’m going to bed soon, so this’ll be your last chance to talk before tomorrow morning. Cool cool?”

The fly merely buzzed around wildly before sitting still. “Here, I’ll go get you some food so you don’t starve.” Kate stood up, going downstairs and grabbing a new cheese stick. She ate most of it on her way upstairs but saved a rather large piece for little Loki.

Kate carefully lifted up the mason jar, sliding the mozzarella under without allowing the fly to get out. She washed her face and took out her contacts, locking her door and shutting her curtains after she was in her room again. Just as she was about to take off her shirt, she froze. “Yeah, I’m not letting you watch me change.” She picked a notebook up off of her desk and placed it down in front of the mason jar. Once she knew it was safely balanced, she changed into pajamas and settled down for bed.

Shortly after, her dog, Jake, joined her on the bed. The little wiener dog curled up next to her with his head on the pillow, sighing not long after. Kate smiled, rolling over and wrapping her arm around her companion.

She quickly slipped into the state of sleep-limbo, still tired from waking up under her desk, and felt her dog twitching as he dreamed. “Sleep tight, pupper,” she muttered and wrapped herself around Jake’s tiny dog body.

As Kate slipped closer to sleep, buzzing entered her systems. At first, she thought it might have been her phone—maybe a friend was calling in need of help on the essay due on Monday. But when it persisted, she groaned. “Shut up, fly, I told you tomorrow.”

Slowly, certainly slowly, it dawned on her just how loud the buzzing was. She was dragged out of sleep to realize it was Jake. He was growling the slightest bit. It was a low, threatening growl, and Kate nudged him. “It’s just a dream, buddy.”

Still, it persisted.

Kate nudged him again, slightly harder this time. “Jakey Baby, it’s just a dream.”

Finally, she opened her eyes. She propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at him. Jake was awake, his teeth bared at something in the dark. With tired eyes, she looked up.

Loki stood in the center of the room, green eyes glowing, staring at her with menace. “Okay,” he hissed. He walked up towards the bed, crouching down.

Even in the sleep-high state Kate was in, she knew it wasn’t a good time to talk. Her brain wasn’t working properly and she desperately needed sleep.

Loki smiled. “I’m happy to talk now. By the way,” he turned his head over to the desk, “You might want to free that poor fly. It didn’t do anything.”

Kate shushed Loki. “My parents are both in bed, and their rooms are literally two of my walls!” she whisper-yelled. “So, shut up, and buzz off.” She flopped her head back onto her pillow, keeping a close watch on the man next to her bed.

“That’s not how this is going to work.” Loki reached forward to what looked like fix a chunk Kate’s hair, but Jake promptly lunged at his hand, biting it. Nobody got near Kate when he was with her, whether it was the God of Mischief or her sister.

Loki ripped his hand away from the dog. Jake laid back down next to his favorite person as if he had done nothing wrong. Kate looked smugly over at Loki, who now bore bite marks on the side of his hand. “That’s what you get. We’ll talk in the morning.” She closed her eyes, signaling the end of the conversation.

“What about the fly?”

Kate didn’t even respond. She was so tired if she heard him say another word, she was pretty sure she would punch him again.

A million thoughts rushed her brain, spiking her with a headache. _You were willing to set the fly free before, why not now?_

Kate wasn’t even going to respond. She simply thought of the weirdest image possible–which ended up being that one video from 2010 or something called _cows & cows & cows _ where cows are jumping out of cows which are jumping out of more cows and there are cow spiders and bouncing cows and other weird cow stuff–and placed it like a barrier at her forehead.

Loki’s attack receded, most likely out of confusion and shock rather than him being too weak to persist. She kept the thought in her mind even after the headache went away. If she focused on it and it alone, she could keep her mental barrier up and hopefully go to sleep.

But the next thought was different. Loki seemed passive. A mind-version of him appeared amongst the cows and he spoke something. Kate drowned out his words with the sound of the strange music that went along with the original video.

“How did you learn to do that?” his real voice asked. Kate saw his lips in her thoughts were saying the same thing.

She let the attack drift away and opened her eyes. “I learned it from a book. The main character used mind magic, so I tried the same technique he learned.”

“Midgardians have access to magic?”

Kate shook her head. “It was a fantasy novel, with dragons and magic and stuff.”

“Ah,” Loki said in recognition of her words. He walked over to her desk and picked up the book and mason jar, letting the fly go outside of her room and shutting the door behind him.

With the bit of peace she was given, Kate took the opportunity to shut her eyes. She couldn’t remember if Loki came back and sat down to talk, or passively entered her thoughts like a ninja to explore her memories, or just left her be. Either way, she didn’t really care, because she was asleep in a few moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh...heheheheh... my puns are so bad
> 
> edit: I'm combining "Snacks" and "Green-Eyed Fly" because they were both pretty short and I felt they just should have gone together


	4. The Middle of The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Rising Darkness, Halloween

“Kate,” a voice said as she walked through her elementary school, the ghost of a green marker that she had run dry and a man she had seen on the street two weeks ago with her.

She assumed it was the man from two weeks ago calling to her, who she named Doug, and turned to him. He was at the bookshelves in her kindergarten classroom, inspecting a children’s book with great interest. He hadn’t looked to have addressed her.

The ghost of the green marker was crying lime tears over her death. She dramatically fell into Doug’s arms, although she fell right through them and landed on the tile floor. The lack of physicality didn’t seem to stop her from announcing her ballad. “Oh, Doug! Wherefore art thou alive, while mine body has been left to crumble into dust and ash? Oh, lovely Doug, how long must I await you in this dreaded afterlife, until I may feel thine embrace once more?”

“Honey, I’m busy reading,” he commented and waved his dead marker lover off.

Kate appeared to just be an onlooker of the situation going on, but she still heard her name being called. She looked around the old classroom. There wasn’t anything talking to her, but the voice did sound like it was coming from the hallway outside.

She was beginning to become aware of the fact she was in a dream. Usually, when she did, she would wake up from it, then fall back into it if she fell back asleep. It depended on how much she woke up.

Kate left the old classroom and went into the hallway. It was comfortingly familiar, although the old school had been torn down and rebuilt the summer after her first year in its walls. The floor began to crumble the farther she walked, forcing her to jump between floating tiles.

A strange fog was sitting over the gym—the sad, carpeted gym—and the voice was louder. “Loki?” she called. It didn’t sound like his voice, but he had mimicked her’s so it could have been a trick.

Kate looked through the door of a classroom she hadn’t entered before. Truly, she didn’t know why it existed in the realm of her dreams since she’d never been inside it before. She peered through the window; the black fog was thick in this room and the voice was louder.

She reached out and touched the handle. It was cold, freezing, in fact, which was strange since she couldn’t actually feel temperature in her dreams without the help of real-world changes. She opened the door and a blast of cold blew in her face, biting at her skin like winter’s morning.

The black fog was so thick that it became solid, allowing Kate to step onto it and walk across with ease. “Loki?” she called again.

“Kate,” the thing replied like a long, drawn-out hiss.

She walked through the smoke, her eyes watering until she was crying out of the corners of her eyes and into her hair. Through her bleary tears, she could see a mass of black, with orange glowing eyes.

“Kate,” it hissed again and outstretched what the girl in question thought was supposed to be a hand.

Slowly, she lifted her hand and placed it into the shadows’ palm.

The shadows snaked up her arm and across her shoulder and neck, reaching up into her mouth and choking her. Kate stumbled back as she tried to breathe, but she couldn’t see or hear in the muffled environment and she fell out of the classroom with shadows following her as she slowly suffocated. She wanted to scream, but she couldn’t. She tripped over one of the floating tiles and fell into the open abyss, shadows choking her with the orange eyes watching from above.

Kate’s eyes flicked open and she gasped. She was drenched in a cold sweat and Jake was on top of the covers at her feet, clearly startled by her sudden jolt. Tears had dripped out of her eyes and down her temples, bleeding into her messy hair. She glanced at the time. It was 2:08 A.M.

Her breath was quick and she sat up to look around her room, something raking through her hair in the process. It was probably the one broken piece of wood on her headboard. Her eyes scanned the room. There was no shadow monster, or lime marker, or man from two weeks ago. There was just her bedroom. And Loki, wherever he was. She was about to whisper the God of Mischief’s name when his voice whispered in her head. _I’m behind you, mortal._

She whirled around, her hair arcing and hitting her in the face in the least elegant way possible. Kate blew it out of the way in annoyance, running her fingers through her knots to try to calm down. “Why are you sitting behind my head?” she whispered, taking a few deep breaths.

“You were thrashing and breathing quickly. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Loki turned to face Kate better. “I would have woken you, but that _thing_ wouldn’t allow me to get close enough.”

Kate looked down at Jake and smiled. He looked scared and confused above all else and stood up to lay down next to his companion’s torso. Kate allowed him to, stroking his fur as she tried to calm down. Amidst her petting, she stopped as a realization hit her. She looked at Loki. “Why did you want to make sure I was okay?”

Loki met her gaze, his eyes glowing green. “You never really gave me a chance to finish explaining why I’m here. If you are not too tired, may I?”

“Don’t you avoid the question!” Kate exclaimed, her only raising the slightest bit in volume. “Why do you care enough about me to want to make sure I was okay?”

“It will require me to explain as to why I am here. As I said, may I?”

Kate sighed. If she didn’t have to stay quiet, she probably would have argued more. “Fine. But that’s the last time you get to dodge a question.”

“If you say so, Katherine.”

Kate stuck her tongue out and stretched, repositioning herself to better face the man. “Last time I checked, you were here because you needed help from me, but are also here to protect me, and there’s time travel. Feel free to elaborate.”

Loki’s emerald eyes wandered as he searched for words. “Are you alright with a long story?”

Kate raised her left eyebrow, replying with a flat tone. “It’s 2 A.M.—it’s not like I have anything else to do.”

Loki laughed a little. “I suppose I should start with—” he raised his head and looked Kate dead in the eyes. Her skin crawled and she felt vulnerable, yet powerful at the same time. “The company Marvel is not what you think it is.”

“Well, I assumed that. I mean, you look just like Tom Hiddleston, but you’re not—"

“No, Katherine, I mean it and you need to listen to me. Marvel is run by an organization, a certain branch of your government and the governments that are part of the United Nations.”

Kate wanted to interrupt in her disbelief, but she held back any words that surfaced on her tongue and listened.

“Whenever something happens that would change how humans fundamentally think of people and the power systems within countries, this branch simply uses cameras and chemicals to make you forget.”

Kate’s brow furrowed. She shifted Jake beside her, getting up and sitting down on the floor in front of the God of Mischief. She pinched herself. “Okay.” Then, she reached out and lightly rested her hand on Loki’s knee. It felt real. “Okay.” She removed her hand and shook her head. “Repeat what you just said, slowly this time.”

Loki looked confused but began to repeat his statement, mischief sparking in his gaze. “Marvel. Is. Run. By. An—"

As Loki was talking a word a minute, Kate caught herself in her thoughts. She was presented with an opportunity to touch Loki. It wasn’t anything weird—her love language was physical touch. To her, it didn’t matter if a relationship was platonic or romantic, she always showed her affections through hugs and nudges and leans. “Not that slow, you jerk.” Time slowed as Kate reached out and lightly nudged his arm, smiling. She hoped Loki wouldn’t mind it. “Just a little slower.”

“If I _must.”_ He dramatically sighed. Relief washed over Kate. “Marvel is run by an organization, a certain branch of your government and the governments that are part of the United Nations.”

“Okay, I got that part. Now, what was the other part?”

“Whenever something happens that would change how humans fundamentally think of people and the power systems within countries, this branch simply uses cameras and chemicals to make you forget.”

Kate ran her fingers through her hair. “Okay, so I heard you correctly the first time.” She took a deep breath. “How does this work exactly?”

“Whenever there is a cataclysm involving magic or other-worldly beings, this branch, known as the Magic and Science Fiction Cover Association or the M.S.F.C.A., uses camera and special-effects to turn the events into a movie. Those affected by the event are told to remain calm or forced to, and cities are rebuilt. Once all the damage is repaired, they bring in those affected by the event and use a form of hypnosis to make them believe it didn’t happen; they change their memories and implant new ones. If loved ones died, they make a cover-up story of shootings or sickness. Not long after everyone forgets, they advertise then release the movie the event is based on.”

Kate took a deep breath. She stayed silent as she took in the information and processed it. The first question she asked clearly stunned Loki, she could see it even in the darkness. “Did they actually record Frigga’s death?”

“No, that was one of the areas they used special-effects. It was actually upon her request because she no longer wanted to be a part of the organization.”

“She died because—" Kate didn’t know what to say. “She’s a martyr?”

Loki shook his head. Kate could have sworn she saw the slightest tear glistening in his eye. “The Allmother is alive and well. Her death was recorded so she could stay within Asgard, the same as the Allfather.”

Kate was quiet for a few moments. “So you never took over Asgard?”

“Oh, no, I did. I most certainly did that.” Loki briefly smiled. “I just put an illusion over Odin when I stuck him in this realm, so people wouldn’t recognize him.”

“What did you do with the Allmother?”

“I locked her in a wing of the castle. She had complete control over it and could do whatever she wanted, except leave. Eventually, she talked me down from my power craze, and I worked things out with Father.”

“Really?”

“You sound so surprised!” He exclaimed indignantly.

Kate laughed. “Well, _sorry,_ but everywhere I’ve seen you, you don’t exactly get along with people.”

A smile played on Loki’s lips. “Well, now that’s just untrue.”

“Okay.” Kate crossed her arms. “Name one instance, other than since working out your daddy issues, that you’ve gotten along perfectly with everyone else in the room.”

“That’s barely a challenge!” Loki exclaimed. His eyes left Kate’s face as he traveled through his long memory. “When Thor and I were children, we got along all the time.”

“Keyword ‘children,’” Kate commented.

Loki scoffed. “And we still get along.”

“Oh, yes, all of that sarcasm is just banter, is it?”

“Why, yes, it is!” Loki exclaimed. Kate could have sworn she heard him laugh a real, legitimate laugh. “Besides, I don’t need to prove myself to you.”

“Very well, Asgardian Prince,” Kate rolled her eyes. “Riddle me this, why do you look exactly like the actors who played your roles? Or did they not?”

Loki’s lighthearted expression went dark. Kate tried to decipher some sort of emotion out of his face, but she couldn’t. “This look isn’t how I truly appear, it is only a facade, so you could recognize me. In reality, I’m not this incredibly pale, and I have a beard.”

Kate snorted. “Really?”

“What do you not believe me?”

“No! No, I do not believe the God of Mischief!” Kate laughed, struggling to keep her voice low. Although Loki was clever and manipulative, he was fairly funny. Either that or Kate was more sleep-high than she thought.

“Very well, I suppose I must show you my true form, then.” Like a screen, Loki revealed himself. His skin wasn’t as pale, though still quite pale, and his hair was thicker and wavier. He had been telling the truth, and on his chin sat a thick black beard.

“Well, well, hello there, Mr. Loki. It’s nice to meet you for the first time.” Kate jokingly held out her hand in a handshake, and Loki smiled and accepted it. His hands were surprisingly warm for a frost giant.

“You have a surprisingly firm grip for a maiden,” Loki commented as he let her hand go. He glanced warily behind Kate. She assumed he was eyeing Jake, whom she could feel breathing against her neck.

“Can a maiden not have a strong grip?” Kate asked.

“No, I just—" Loki scrambled for an excuse and Kate saw the slightest bit of a blush on his olive skin. “I just didn’t expect a Midgardian maiden to have such a strong handshake.”

“Loki,” she said.

Loki looked at her. “Yes?”

The joking happiness of the conversation died as they looked at each other. Kate blinked and glanced away. She couldn’t look into anyone’s eyes for too long, especially when they were male and not directly related to her. She never really knew why she couldn’t. Even her cousins made her feel uncomfortable after a few moments of direct contact. “You don’t have to make excuses. For the moment, I will consider you a friend. I don’t have a lot of those, so I take them seriously. I don’t know if I can trust you quite yet, but you can trust me.”

Loki looked away. “If I can trust you, then I suppose I should tell you I don’t have a lot of these ‘friends’ either.”

Kate snorted, unable to hold back her taunt. “I’m not surprised.”

Loki scoffed indignantly. “Well, that’s the last time I tell you anything personal.”

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding! You can tell me anything.” Kate became incredibly serious again, her smile fading instantly. “Literally, I will take anyone’s secrets to my grave.”

“Really?”

She shrugged and relaxed. “Not when I was younger, but I’ve learned to hold my tongue. So, back to the original point of this conversation, is this Magic and Science Fiction Cover Association, all your here for?”

Loki shook his head. “Not quite. Remember when I told you about time travel?”

Kate raised an eyebrow. “You choked me. How could I forget?”

Loki’s facial expression became what Kate could only describe as the ‘I screwed up’ face. He swallowed. “Yes, well, in the original timeline, you discover that you have abilities.”

Kate’s mouth opened in disbelief. Her jaw didn’t completely drop, but it still opened partially. “I have powers?” she asked slightly too loudly.

Through the wall, she heard her mother awaken with a start. She and Loki shared a glance and Kate jumped up, scurrying back into bed like silent lightning. She watched as Loki magically shapeshifted into a fly and buzz onto her dresser, hiding behind a book. Kate pulled Jake close to her and began to take deep breaths as if to calm down from a panic attack.

Her mother quietly opened her door. “Kat?” she asked quietly.

Kate lifted her head up and looked over. “Yeah?”

“Were you talking to someone?”

Kate rubbed her eyes and did her best to feign anxiety. “I had a bad dream so I was talking to Jake. Did I wake you up?”

Her mother visibly calmed down. “No, I was already awake. I must have imagined another voice.”

“Well, I may or may not have also had Jake talk back to me,” Kate cleared her throat awkwardly.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it was just a nightmare.”

Her mother nodded her head and shut the door again. Kate hadn’t even realized she was holding her breath, but she released it.

She looked over at her dresser and closed her eyes. “I should go to sleep, Loki,” she whispered “We can talk more in the morning. Goodnight.”

 _Goodnight, Katherine._ His voice echoed passively in her head.

She smiled and cuddled closer to Jake, sighing and allowing herself to slowly drift back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A last-minute chapter before I go to sleep, I'll probably do some editing on it when I'm not sleep-high


	5. The Alternative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Wolf King (Orchestral), Battlecry

Kate woke up to the sun shining through her curtains. She yawned and rubbed her eyes, looking at her clock. It was almost 9 o’clock.

She glanced over at her door, which was still shut. "Loki?"

There was no reply. Not even through her thoughts.

Kate blinked. "Well, that’s slightly alarming." She got up, covering Jake back up and putting on her glasses. "Loki?" she whispered again.

Still, there was no sign of the God of Mischief.

Kate ran through everything she had learned in the night as she fixed her hair and washed her face. While she rinsed the soap off, she felt something land on her back and coil around her waist. She froze and reached for her towel, not finding it. She rubbed her eyes, opening them and wiping water off of her face. A snake was coiled around her like a belt, its beady eyes staring at her. "Give me my towel," she said through gritted teeth.

The snake’s tongue flickered in and out of its mouth before it pointing its head down at the space behind the toilet. There sat Kate towel.

"Really?" she grumbled and pulled the snake off of her, staring at it. "What was the point of that?"

_ To annoy you. _ The thought whispered through her head.

Kate glared and bent down, picking up her towel and ‘accidentally’ dropping the snake into the toilet. She cringed as the dirty water splashed up on her neck, but soon got over it as she watched Loki writhe in the generally-unclean waters as a snake.  _ Get me out of here, you awful child! _ He screamed in her brain.

"Fine, fine," Kate sighed. She casually reached down into the toilet and pulled Loki out, immediately dropping him into the tub. "Would you like a shower, Sire?" she asked, washing her hands.

He turned back into the cinematic version of himself magically. He was dripping wet and wore a glare with the fury of all of Asgard. "Never in my life have I felt so vile, you  _ rampallian _ !"

"Not even when you are covered in blood?" Kate asked earnestly.

His voice sounded threatening. "That would be the blood of my enemies, mortal. One can’t possibly be disgusted when all who defy him are dead."

Was she one of his enemies?

He immediately began to unclothe himself, dropping the clothes onto the tile floor as if it were nothing. Kate’s sleepy head kicked into high-gear and she mentally scrambled. She ripped the curtains shut moments before his pants were off. Loki laughed and she was thankful for the fabric protecting him from seeing her fully-flushed face and her from getting  _ much _ too personal with him. Overnight, something had changed. She had known him for a little over 12 hours, and yet she felt what she could only describe as a bond. It was like two friends who were meant to travel their lives with arms interlocked had finally met.

Kate was ripped from her thoughts as Loki spoke, annoyance clear in his voice. "How does that water start on this device?"

"Hold on, let me make sure there’s no other water running first." Kate stuck her head out of the door. "Mom! Can I get a shower?!"

There were a few moments of silence. "I guess!"

"Ok, thanks!" Kate turned back around. "Gimme a second." She left the bathroom and pulled a couple of towels and a washcloth from the linen closet. She came back inside of the bathroom and hung the larger navy towel on the rack, closing the toilet and putting the still-folded, smaller pink towel on the lid as a seat. She threw the washcloth inside and sighed. "Okay, the dial on the left is for hot water and the dial on the right is cold water. You don’t need to mess with the middle dial. Just turn the dials until the water is to your pleasing. Also, warning: you’ll only get about 20 minutes of showering if you use just hot water."

"Child, I am a Frost Giant. I do not care about cold," his voice echoed the slightest bit, his condescending tone biting her. Kate didn’t like it, but sometimes words got to her. Over years of never being good enough compared to her siblings and being the "gifted" idiot who got C’s and B’s in her honors classes that were two grades above her actual freshman-ship, and yet being told to work harder despite her fatigue, it had thickened her skin. And yet the words of strangers hurt most.

Kate shook her head. She needed to stay out of her mind.

The water started, and the slightest bit of steam filled the room. "Save some water for me, I’ll need to wet my hair when you’re done." Kate picked up her phone and began mindlessly swiping through various social media as she always did in the morning.

She wanted to question as to how she got to the position of sitting, waiting for a "god" to finish cleansing himself of toilet bowl water, which she had dropped him in. Where did he come from? Why did he need her help? Why did he care about  _ her _ of all people?

She had to admit, he was most certainly Asgardian, with the magic and the muscle she had seen while he had casually derobed. Was it commonplace on Asgard or something? Kate doubted it had been a joke (she assumed his rage would prevent him from teasing), but he  _ was _ the God of Mischief.

Time was moving too fast. She already had a connection, and she didn’t like it. When he said he could make her someone, a little spark had flown from the dead embers of her hope of happiness. Recognition was something she never received, but  _ being someone _ —having her name in shining lights, even if only for a moment, that would mean the world to her.

Kate felt something brush against her thoughts. It felt like a feather against sandpaper, dainty and soft, almost unnoticed, but Kate had noticed it, and she instantly thought of  _ cows & cows & cows _ again, and a thud from behind the shower curtain told her Loki had been caught.

She held the barrier at the front of her forehead, thinking towards the back of her mind and multitasking between the trains of two thought.  _ Why won’t he just leave me alone? _

The sudden urge to cry swept over her. Why had a simple thought of wanting to be alone triggered waterworks? She blinked a few times, swallowing back the tears. He  _ must _ be doing something to her brain. Her emotions were never this fragile.

The headache that had begun to form spiked as Loki forced his way past her barrier of cows, pushing it back and squeezing her brain until she was forced to break.  _ Do not shut me out, illr kveisu-nagli!  _ It was a yell, despite having no actual volume.

Kate’s mind receded in pure confusion. She did not necessarily block Loki out, she merely curled herself into a small corner. If he went near her, he could not pry her face from her bent knees and wrapped arms. Yet, she was ripped free of her safe-haven. She was a washcloth, and Loki was wringing out any privacy she still felt she had.

_ Do not shut me out, _ he said again. This time, it was quieter, calmer, maybe even sweeter.

Kate’s face crumpled in pain and anger. Her chin quivered, but she refused to believe she was on the verge of tears.  _ Why not? I don’t know you!  _ Tears dripped out of her eyes and fell down her cheeks. She buried her face in her knees. She hated wet anger, it always made her feel weak for crying when she was angry.  _ You turned up and scared me! You hurt me! Then you expect to say sorry, which you didn’t even do might I add, then have me just forgive you? _

_ You committed suicide! _

All she could hear was her now-racing heart. It was as if a song had ended on an audio program, and the lines showing the beats and noise just cut off for the straight line of silence. Dull, pure silence. Her tears ceased and she wiped them away with her sleeve. They were gone as fast as they had come.  _ What?  _ She imagined herself, maybe a little prettier and a little less flat, facing Loki, who was thankfully still clothed, standing in a grassy field. His breath was quick in anger and her eyes were empty and red.

_ I’ve gone back in time five times now. Each time other than the first, I’m here for a few years, and I go along with you through your life. In the last two timelines, you committed suicide at age 17. _

The only word to exit her imaginary mouth was:  _ Why? _

_ The first two timelines, your powers surfaced in front of cameras, and S.H.I.E.L.D took you captive. I don’t know what happens when they have you, you stay in a locked room that not even I can break into. Eventually, you reemerged a new person. You were like the winter soldier, reprogrammed to act as they wanted you to. You went on to be on part of the television program for S.H.I.E.L.D agents. _

_ You and I met one day by chance, during one of your missions Thor was visiting is wretched mortal girlfriend, and he insisted I come along. He practically dragged me with him and while the two of us were out in some cafe, a terrorist attack occurred. Of course, the bomb did no harm to me, but a concrete pillar was going to fall on me. I would have been marginally unaffected, but you ran at us and tackled us both anyway. We landed on the floor and you froze the pillar moments before it would have hit us. Then, you shattered into dust. You saved not only us, but four other civilians. _

_ Why’d you go back in time? _

_ Thor ended up forcing me into a date. Even when I asked to go back via Bifröst, Heimdall didn’t allow me to return. The Agent named Coulson got you to agree somehow, and Thor and Jane joined us on a “double date” in an attempt to make things less awkward. It didn’t work since all they really did was make out like some common folk, and the only thing we seemed to have in common was our mutual complaining about them. Apparently, you thought I was funny. S.H.I.E.L.D arrived to pick you up, you couldn’t stay out for too long unsupervised apparently, and just as you were about to leave, you kissed me. _

_ Seriously?  _ I _ made the first move? _

_ Well, I certainly wasn’t going to kiss you, especially with how bad you were at it. _

_ Hey! _

_ Well, it true. You were horrid. _

In her mind, she crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. Her hip stuck out as she shifted her weight.  _ Says the one who screwed a horse. _

_ That makes you worse than a stallion. _

Kate’s lips pursed. She couldn’t think of a comeback.  _ No u,  _ she thought, her mental words even saying ‘u’ rather than ‘you.’ Before Loki could question her, she continued.  _ By the way, are you showering and talking to me here at the same time? Cause all my focus is here and I’m just sitting still. _

She wanted to tune out and focus on the outside world, but she was worried as to where Loki would mentally pry without her permission. Yes, she was a mainly-clean good child of God, but her brain made some very... _ odd _ images while she dreamt whether she wanted them or not. Besides, she had her secrets like every other person.

_ Yes, girl, I’m above you in all ways, remember? _

Kate stuck her tongue out at the shower curtain, switching back to her conversation too quickly for him to have found anything within her memories.  _ Look, why don’t we have a Q and A? I’ll ask a question, you answer it, with no off-topic conversation? There’s too much I don’t know. _

_ I don’t see as to why not. If anything, it will keep you from running your mouth. _

Kate mentally snarled. He was the only person she had ever met that could match her snark.  _ Question one: why do you need my help? Aren’t you like the most powerful sorcerer? _

_ In all the Nine Realms. _

_ Then why do you need my help? _

Loki’s shifted his weight hesitantly. Kate sighed, causing a breeze to blow through the field in her mind and lift his hair the slightest bit.

_ You assume it to be a physical need. _

_ What’s that supposed to mean? _

_ The thing I need your help with is not physical. It is not a goal that can be reached from killing certain being or destroying a certain item. It is internal. _

_ Well, then stop avoiding it and explain what it is. _

_ Very well. _ Magically, Loki waved his hand and summoned a device, most likely Asgardian, that presented a main, thick line, with two branches at the end. More lines began to branch off to create a weird sideways tree of sorts. He pointed at the main line, which was red.  _ This is the original timeline, where you and I first met. _

Mentally, Kate walked up to the device. Her eyes flickered around.  _ I’m assuming the other lines are different timelines? _

_ Correct, mortal, I colored it in the order of your Midgardian rainbow, so you hopefully know which timeline is which. _

Kate smiled. Honestly, that was really thoughtful of him. People didn’t usually go out of their way to make her life easier. In fact, she was the one bending over backwards just to account for people’s needs. That was the joy of having a mental disorder that came and went, while others’ were always around.  _ Are we the purple line? _

_ Well, I don’t recall there being a color after purple, is there? _

_ I was just making sure.  _ Kate carefully lifted her hand up, touching the red line where it abruptly ended.

She felt like she was falling while her feet were planted on the ground. Cold electricity zipped through her, and she opened her eyes. She was no longer surrounded by her bathroom, and the sound of the shower was a thing of the past.

Surrounding her was heat. She had never felt so hot before, it was like she was burning from the inside out as the smoke filled her lungs. She coughed and tried to move, but found herself unable.

Black hair fell into her field of vision. That was wrong.

Kate blinked as she ran as fast as she could away from the fire. “Loki!” She heard the tell-tale sound of Thor call Loki’s name and she spun. He spun his hammer and flew into the air, grabbed her across the chest, and flew away from the lava consuming the place she was in–wherever that was.

Thor narrowly carried her out of the building, the giant golden doors melting moments after her escape. Her mouth opened without her intent and words exited her throat. “Where is Kate?”

Her voice was low and hoarse. 

“She was with Frigga in the gardens.”

She nodded and began navigating the burning ruins as best as she could. The fire had not yet spread to this part of the golden castle but it most certainly would. She only had a few moments.

She climbed up a balcony and was running across the marble and around furniture when she saw it out of the corner of her eyes. Someone was freezing the lava, or at least attempting to, in order to allow the people to escape across the Bifröst and to most likely Earth, where safety lay.

Kate stopped and jumped off the balcony and ran towards the Bifröst. As she grew closer, she saw herself, older, yelling at the Asgardians to “get their asses into high gear unless they want to die a fiery death of pain and suffering.”

“I am your reckoning, Asgardians!” A voice boomed above her head.

Kate’s eyes went wide as a giant sword of fire and magma swept across the land. How she–well, Loki–had escaped the castle was a miracle, but getting everyone out would be even more of one.

An entire wave of lava the size of one of the now-melted doors was frozen in place, the rock rapidly cooling in an arc. It was only useful to an extent, however, as the lava heated the rock below it and melted the ice. It began to drip as Kate continued to freeze it. Icy sweat dripped down her forehead as she gritted her teeth. If this giant wave broke, no matter how slow the lava moved, people would meet their demise.

From the aerial angle, Kate could see a giant crack break through one of the top layers. She narrowly avoided a burning tree and reached herself. She tackled herself and narrowly saved her from a giant chunk of ice that would have fallen on top of both of them. Lava spilled from the hole and cracks echoed through the thick ice.

“Loki! Get them out!” the Kate below her barked.

The crowd was beginning to thin into safety, some people escaping on spaceships most likely from the castle.

“No unless you’re coming with me!” she said, scrambling off of herself to get away from the hot lava. It burned her even from the distance they were at.

Kate wanted to puke. It sounded like something from a dystopian novel where the world was coming to an end.

_ Oh, wait. _

Kate was ripped from her thoughts as herself kicked her in the gut and pushed her towards the people fleeing. “If I come with you, that flaming sword is going to kill all of us! Stop being selfish and go!”

There were tears in the eyes of the women in front of her, and her own vision was a little blurry.

“Go!”

Kate turned and ran off. Her throat felt thick. She reached the people and helped lead everyone into the Bifröst and ships. Once everyone was safe, she turned to get herself. Where was she?

Her eyes flickered across the fiery world that used to be her home. A small dot was running from the sword of magma, no, running along it.

What the  _ hell _ was she doing?

“Thor!” she called, her hair flying in her face and getting caught in the sweat on her forehead. Thor ran off the ship, following Kate’s gaze until he found her target.

Thor spun his hammer, flying off into the air to get her to safety. In the distance, Kate saw herself running along and jumping to and from the rocks that weren’t burning. The humid air was being sucked into her hands and transformed into ice on her fingertips, allowing her safe travel through the heat.

The sword swung through the air and just as Thor was about to catch Kate, a fiery hand slapped her like a mere fly.

Squish.

The hand of magma rose. Kate was gone.

Pain spiked through her chest, and her chin shook. She didn’t know whether the tears were from the pain in her chest or the immediate and strong sensation of loss in her heart. It was like Jake had just died and she couldn’t do anything to stop it. She was completely powerless and so…  _ small _ . The feeling was going to consume her, just as the giant wave of lava above her head would have if not for Thor, who scooped her up and took her through the Bifröst too fast for her to resist.

Kate opened her eyes to find tears streaming down her cheeks. She could barely breathe through the snot clogging her nose and throat. She hiccuped and sniffled, wiping away the salty droplets from her chin. She stared at the wall in front of her. What was she supposed to say?

Kate decided his name would be good enough and whispered: “Loki?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates! I've had a TON of schoolwork to do and absolutely zero time to write. Hopefully, I'll be able to update more regularly.


	6. The Attic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Impossible, Unleashed

The shower water turned off. Loki’s breath was heavy. _I request a towel._ His voice was solemn as he spoke through Kate’s thoughts. Kate could have sworn she heard his voice crack the slightest bit. She didn’t even know mental-voices could crack.

 _Now, mortal!_ He barked.

Kate startled. She stood up and grabbed the navy towel and handed it to Loki through the curtain. Normally, she would have fought back, but she was too… she couldn’t describe the sensation. The pain she had felt, it was gone now, but now she was empty. She tried to recall the way her chest had ached but she couldn’t. The emotion was lost.

The navy towel was thrown out on the other side of the shower, and it landed on the side of Kate’s face. It smelled strange. It wasn’t like any musk she had smelled before—not that she had smelled many, she lived with two brothers and her father, and two of them used the same deodorant, the third not actually wearing it. His musk smelled a lot like a body wash in the shower mixed with the way her cat smelled after he’d gone outside and walked around the pine trees, with something else beneath it she couldn’t quite place. Kate liked it.

She took the towel off of her head and grabbed a washcloth on the sink. She proceeded to run it under the warm water until it was dripping wet then squeeze it into her hair. By the time she was done, her hair was wet enough to have just gotten out of the shower.

Loki stepped out of the tub in a fresh set of clothes and snapped his dirty ones away. How he had done it exactly, Kate did not question. _Is there anywhere I may speak freely, without the others overhearing?_

Kate’s eyes trailed to the floor. The walls of the house were thin, someone could always hear you one way or another. “I guess the attic, but I want to get something to eat first. Do you want anything?”

_I can transport food for myself from Asgard. You do not have to provide for me._

Kate blinked a couple times, trying desperately to meet Loki’s gaze. She couldn’t. It made her feel too vulnerable.

She nodded. “Alright… I guess hide somewhere until I come back? I dunno, um, just don’t let people see you, and don’t die, I guess.”

Loki rolled his eyes. _I would have_ never _thought to do that. Even after revealing his deepest, most personal memories_ , his tongue was still sharp.

Kate stuck her tongue out and walked away. Her pace was a stroll, giving her time to think before having to talk to the man in green.

In some other timeline, she had known Loki. She had known Loki personally. _Very_ personally. If she had the ability to look back on the memory, she would try to notice the smaller details. But she hadn’t paid attention to them, and she couldn’t recall if they were there in the first place.

Kate could feel Loki’s conscious brushing against her’s. She blinked slowly. _Whatever, he can read my thoughts if he wants._ She thought as she walked down the stairs. Only afterward did she realize he probably could hear it.

Kate smiled as the family cat meowed at her and she meowed back. “Hello, pretty kitty.” She sat down and stroked the cat’s soft fur. She picked up her cat and settled the tortoiseshell in her lap. “What should I do, Mars?”

Mars meowed again and jumped free, scampering after Jake. Kate pursed her lips. She traveled through the morning’s memories and paused. Her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes narrowed. ‘ _Do not shut me out, illr slápr!’_ is what Loki had said. She could only assume ‘illr slápr’ was something Norse. She’d have to ask him about it.

Her grumbling stomach interrupted her thoughts, and she got up and made herself some toast and coffee. She added cream and sugar then ate the toast slowly. _Stop being selfish and go!_

 _How is it selfish to want someone to survive?_ Kate supposed she needed more information. Maybe she would ask Loki. Or maybe he would grow callous, as he had right after she had called his name. Kate wondered if he had relived the memory as she experienced it.

Loki must have lived through so much within his extended lifetime. Kate wanted to hear stories of epic battles and adrenaline-rushed adventures; she wanted to imagine the sparkling gold of the palaces and she wanted to at least picture Loki’s children, if not see them from his memories.

Kate chuckled. Loki parenting was hilarious. She could just imagine it in her head.

_“No! Go to bed!” Loki’s slender finger pointed at the stall door._

_“But_ Mom!” _Sleipnir whined._

Kate realized the eight-legged horse probably wouldn’t talk. She replayed the scene in her head.

_“No! Go to bed!” Loki’s slender finger pointed at the stall door._

_The black horse rose onto his four back legs and whinnied loudly. Lightning crackled behind him threateningly._

_Thankfully, there was no_ Uncle Thunder _following the lightning. He only made the whole bedtime process more difficult. “Colts,” Loki grumbled._

_Sleipnir did not want to go to bed. The older horses were allowed up late, and they only had four legs. He huffed in Loki’s face and rustled the raven locks, messed up hours ago by lack of care, too much fatigue, and the horse himself._

_Along with his hair’s decency, Loki’s patience was coming to its death. “Get in your stall right now, or you will have no molasses tomorrow.”_

_That only made Sleipnir angrier. He loved his molasses. He wanted to stay up_ and _have his molasses. How hard could that be for Loki to understand?_

_“Three!”_

_No. Not_ the countdown. _Sleipnir didn’t know what would happen after one, but he didn’t want to find out._

_“Two!”_

_His forelock fell in his eyes as he scrambled towards his stall. Just as Loki opened his mouth to say ‘one,’ the hay settled. Thankfully, he didn’t kick over his water trough this time. The last time that had happened, it resulted in no molasses for the next two days, and he had to go the whole night without water as punishment._

_“Thank the Norns!” Loki shouted and left the stables after locking the stall._

Her toast had gone cold by the time the scene faded into her memories. Kate was smiling and hummed to herself as she sat down on the floor and pulled the nearby Jake into her lap. He craned his neck and licked her chin as she scratched his chest and laughed. “Good morning, buddy.” She looked down into his big brown eyes. “What do you think?”

The dog replied with a wag of his tail. Kate closed her eyes and focused. She tried to outstretch her thoughts to feel others, brushing against the entire room and feeling Jake’s relatively quickly. He put up no barriers and Kate could feel love washing over him and tumbling into her conscious. She smiled and did her best to ignore the beginning of a headache, popping a couple of ibuprofen and finishing her coffee. “You’re right, Jake.”

Kate stood up and placed her mug in the dishwasher. She had to do her best to show Loki compassion. Plus, she wanted answers about her apparent “powers.” It was a win-win situation.

Kate walked up the steps. A moth fluttered over and landed on her shoulder. Kate shuddered. She hated moths.

Loki probably knew that.

“Really?” she said through gritted teeth and she walked into the spare room where the stairs up to the attic sat.

Kate briefly leaned out of the doorway. “I’ll be in the attic if you need me!”

When she got the okay from someone, she went into the humid attic and sat down. The moth fluttered off of her shoulder and landed. It transformed magically into Loki, who promptly hit his head on the ceiling. He grunted and sat down, an orange fruit appearing in his hand. At first, Kate thought it was just an orange, but the smell that wafted over told her otherwise.

They sat in an awkward silence. Neither knew where to start.

“What does ‘illr slápr’ mean?” Kate asked. It wasn’t the most on-topic question within existence, but it was a start.

Loki looked startled at first, though realized what she meant. “To put it simply, _illr_ means ‘unpleasant’ in my mother tongue, _slápr_ is an insult.”

“What kind of insult?”

Loki scoffed. “I highly doubt you would understand it.”

Kate raised her eyebrows. _“Really?”_

Loki looked at her. “Really. Especially with a limited and mortal mind, such as your own.”

“Wanna bet? Challenge me, and we’ll see just how _limited_ I am.”

Loki took a bite of his fruit, the smell wafting over to Kate even stronger than before. “Very well, figure out the phrase.”

“What phrase?”

 _“Slápr,_ mortal. If you’re so smart, you must _certainly_ be able to figure it out.”

Kate sputtered. Her hands became fists. “That’s not fair!”

Loki leaned forward the slightest bit, his green eyes glinting. “Well, then I apologize. I thought you would be smart enough to figure out something as simple as a word.”

Kate’s face scrunched up as she tried to look angry. She was almost positive she and Loki both knew she was smiling. “Fine! It means stupid!”

Loki leaned back and took another bite. “Well, now why would I call you ‘bad stupid’? That’s doesn’t make sense.”

Kate was mentally torn at the hint. Yes, it brought her closer to the answer, but she hadn’t done it all herself. She shifted on the plywood floors, her eyes trailing to the floor in actual thought. _So it’s a noun…_

“Idiot?”

“No.”

“Dumb-butt?”

“What kind of insult is that?”

“One I can say in front of my mom.”

Loki struggled not to choke on the piece of food in his mouth as he let out a guffaw.

“What?” Kate exclaimed. It hadn’t been a comment she found profoundly hilarious or even remotely funny. In fact, more often than not her jokes and one-liners weren’t funny to anyone.

“I had forgotten how innocent you could be, child,” Loki said with a nod.

Kate scoffed. “I’m an iGen kid. I’m the opposite of innocent.”

Loki leaned back against a decorative chest. “And yet you didn’t know what the phrase ‘do it’ meant until 6th grade.”

Kate raised part of her lip in an annoyed snarl. “I was sheltered. Does it mean slugabed?”

“What in the Nine is a _slugabed?”_

Kate cocked her eyebrow. A smile crept at the edges her mouth, but she held it back. “Well, if you’re so smart, _figure it out.”_

Loki hummed, air exiting his nose with a slight laugh. “You think you’re hilarious.”

Kate crossed her arms. She eyed the fruit. “Why, yes I think I am. I crack myself up.”

Kate then realized how bad the two of them were at staying on topic. This had nothing to do with what Loki was doing here, the past, the different timelines, or anything remotely similar to any of those. She didn’t necessarily mind that all that much, but her need to know was stronger than her enjoyment of the conversation. “But seriously, we _do_ need to talk about, well, _a lot.”_

Loki’s eyes flickered, and he flinched the slightest bit. Kate didn’t expect him to be so… _vulnerable._ She had always seen Loki as strong, independent, and unbreakable. She wasn’t sure she liked him showing this much emotion. He was too comfortable for her liking. She shouldn’t have told him he could tell her anything. Of course, she would still take anyone’s secrets to her grave, but she felt so uncomfortable around this man. His comfort made it all the more _awkward._

“Where shall we start?”

Kate blinked a couple times. Her eyes trailed down as she stared off into nothing. She stared off into nothing specific, but Loki pulled the fruit slightly closer to himself. When Kate realized what he was doing, her eyes narrowed and her eyebrows furrowed.

She seemed to be making that face a lot.

“Chill—I’m not going to take your fruit, whatever it is.”

Loki’s defenses rose up instantly. “I didn’t think you were going to.”

“Yeah, sure,” she replied with an eye roll. “Start from the time after her—or I guess _my_ —death. Is that too touchy of a topic?”

“Your topic of choice is fine, mortal. If it were too difficult, I would not have told you.”

Loki stopped. He seemed to be expecting a reply, but Kate stayed silent.

“I mourned, just as all of Asgard did. You were treated as a hero and if the topic if you came up in conversation, it was treated as though one was speaking of an Asgardian princess. S.H.I.E.L.D. met us on earth, and the Asgardians were given a place to live. It was a small man-made island created by Tony Stark and his endless amounts of Midgardian currency.”

“How did you travel back in time?”

“One day I was approached by a strange woman with markings on her skin. She was known by few as Ævi Völva, Time Sorceress. She requested I give her the Eye of Agamotto. The man who goes by Doctor Strange, he is in possession of the infinite stone of Time, encased in this said eye. With it, she could reverse time to an extent and give me another chance.”

Kate sat forward. “Why didn’t you just go back to the moment I died and prevent it?”

“Time is a strange thing, Katherine.” Loki finished his fruit and waved a bowl of water and cloth into existence. He began to wash his hands, briefly wiping water across his forehead to stave off the humidity of the attic. “It is the like the water—It prefers to stay on-track and will even forge its own path to reach its destination. Time is similar, and it takes quite a bit of magic and altering of timelines in order to properly affect the outcome. This is the nearest I can travel to the time of your death to change anything cataclysmicly.”

Kate was silent as she took in the information. Her not being alive must have caused some sort of huge tragedy if Loki was so intent upon keeping her alive. “Why is my life so necessary for the future?”

“I cannot tell you. Telling you your fate may alter it, even to the point of altering the course of time.” Loki dried his hand and waved the bowl and towel away.

Kate sat marveling. _Poof,_ they were there; then, _poof,_ they were gone. Her reply came slowly, just a few moments beyond comfortable in a conversation. “Isn’t that what you want?”

“No, it might cause you to never discover your powers, or for specific traits of your being to never surface. Having you mature is as important as having you eat, drink, and breathe.”

“Alright, well, what happened in the second timeline?”

“I was still figuring things out at that point, so I kept most of the timeline the same. Up until Ragnarök, most memorable things still occurred. Instead of meeting death like the first time, you were eaten by a dragon.”

 _What a way to go._ “Dope.”

Loki’s face screwed up. “No! Not _‘dope’!_ You _died,_ Katherine. You’re life _ended.”_

Kate waved off his exclamation. “I’m a teenager of the twenty-first century. I care very little about my life. Besides, if I die, I’ll go to heaven, which is infinitely better than earth according to the bible.”

Loki stared. “I never understood why you believed in a simple book. It is words written on a page, there’s no real proof.”

Kate’s eyebrows rose, almost to the middle of her forehead. “Well, first of all, the truth doesn’t expire; second of all, there’s geological proof.”

“Exactly what proof is that?"

“There’s one story, about a couple of cities called Sodom and Gomorrah. An angel told a family to leave and never look back. They fled, and the mother looked back. She turned to ash or dust, or salt--yeah! It was salt! Anyway, not long after, sulfur rained down upon that area and covered it. It burned. If you look at where Sodom and Gomorrah were geographically, the area still has tons of sulfur in it.”

Loki shrugged. “I tend not to believe you. You do realize that a god sits right in front of you, or are you blind?”

“God is everywhere, so I suppose he is.” Kate’s voice was slyly sweet.

Loki gritted his teeth. “That is not what I meant, mortal.”

She smiled smugly. “I know.” She repositioned her legs, stretching herself out in order to accommodate for her long legs. “Besides, you are not a god. God lives forever, without a beginning or an end.”

Kate could tell Loki’s minor annoyance. “I am without a beginning or an end.”

Her head tilted, and she smiled. “You have parents and a birthday. That is a beginning. You will have a death date. In your case, it will most likely be Ragnarok. That is an end. Even if you live—” Kate froze in thought. She drew little invisible numbers in the air and sat calculating for a few minutes “—62.5 times the average human lifespan, that isn’t immortality, just an extended lifespan.”

Kate could tell she had facts Loki didn’t know, most likely because he didn’t care. “This is all besides the point. As you said, we need to stay on track.”

“Fine. What about the third timeline?”

Loki paused before speaking. The pause was only a few moments, but to Kate, it felt drawn out, and she felt an electricity zap between the two of them—or at least between herself and the air around Loki. It was the well-known electricity of awkwardness as she sat picking at her nails and nibbling on the dry skin on her lower lip.

“In the third time, everything went as planned for quite some time. Eventually, your powers came into contact with a camera of some sort, and S.H.I.E.L.D. took you away. I didn’t see you, but I was told second-hand from Thor that you, or at least a woman who had been taken by S.H.I.E.L.D.’s agency because she had unstable powers, was killed.”

“How did I die?”

“I’m not sure.”

A lull of silence fell across the stuffy attic. Kate ripped the skin off of her bottom lip with her teeth and spit it somewhere, tasting the blood she had caused to well at the open wound. The metallic tang of the iron content in her blood covered her tongue. “What about the fourth timeline?”

“I told you about the room and S.H.I.E.L.D. and your powers in the fourth and the fifth timelines. In the fourth, you committed suicide because of this information, and because you could feel your powers showing. You were scared. In the fifth, you killed yourself because of, ironically, lack of trust. I was always there with you, but you thought I was hiding information from you. You were right, and you didn’t trust me. Without anyone to talk to, but with me always near you, your life became too much. You jumped off of a bridge into a highway.”

Kate’s nostrils flared. “I was that desperate?”

Loki’s eyes were half-lidded. “Apparently so.”

Kate pursed her lips. “And now you’re here?”

Loki gave a small nod and swallowed. He blinked. Kate could have sworn she saw tears.

“I’m sorry,” she began.

Loki looked at her. His green gaze pierced her, and she couldn’t break the sudden staring contest between them. “Why?”

She shrugged. “I’m sorry I can’t seem to stay alive, I guess.”

“It’s not your fault. Whenever I go back in time, you seem to be the slightest bit different, like a certain event is not able to occur but that event is different every single timeline. Do not blame yourself for not being able to stay alive when you are not those people.”

Kate’s eyes narrowed. “But I thought I was?”

“You partially are, you partially aren’t.”

Kate opened her mouth and a noise left her throat. She didn’t know what to say, though, so she shut her mouth again.

Another silent spell fell over the two of them. Kate searched for something to focus on, other than the Asgardian sitting across from her in the attic. What the heck was she supposed to say? She swallowed awkwardly and ignored the blush that began to creep up into her entire face. “What’s my name in Norse?” It was the only thing that she could think of.

Loki had summoned another fruit in the silence and started eating it. Kate was a little surprised he hadn’t offered her some since he was eating it right in front of her face, but also knew there was no way he would ever share it. It smelled incredibly sweet, and she was surprised no bugs had flown over out of curiosity. “No matter the language, your name is Katherine.”

Kate leaned forward. Her mouth watered at the smell of the orange fruit with no peel or rind and she hoped Loki wouldn’t notice. “Yeah, but my name is Katherine, and that means pure. Is there a name that means pure?”

Loki leaned back to rest against a storage bin. He took a bite out of the fruit, almost tantalizingly slow. So, he _had_ noticed. “Some names have meaning, but some names are combinations of name elements.”

Kate’s face was flat. “What the heck is that supposed to mean?”

Loki took another bite and finished chewing before speaking again. “There are certain name elements that mean pure, most likely, but firstly, that’s only one element of a name, and secondly, I don’t just happen to know it.”

“Well, my middle name’s Antoinette, which means flower.” Kate sat back. She wished her salivary glands would stop producing so much extra spit. It was getting annoying. “Is there a name element that means flower?”

Loki raised his eyebrows. “Pure flower?”

Kate’s face screwed up. “Yeah, Mr.—” she pulled out her phone and typed on it for a few minutes. She opened her internet and searched up what ‘Loki’ meant “—Loop On A Thread, what’s it to ya?”

“Nothing, nothing.” He waved her off and finished the fruit. “Why don’t you just use that thing you call a phone and search it up yourself?” Magically, he transported another one of those fruits into his hand.

“I’m low on battery.” No, she wasn’t. “I think my charger came unplugged in the middle of the night, and I want to save it.”

Kate decided not to think about her next action's consequences as she leaped at him and tried the grab the food. Her face promptly met Loki’s open palm, and she deftly fell into his lap. “Really?” Her chin rested in the space where his crossed legs met, right near his ankles. When she opened her eyes, she realized she was mere inches from Loki’s crotch. A flush crept onto her face more fierce than the previous flush.

He seemed not to notice. “I’m a god, child, what did you expect?”

Kate scrambled up, making sure to dig her elbow into a tight muscle in Loki thigh so his entire body convulsed. He incidentally caged her in his limbs, practically hugging her upper body.

“What in the Nine was  _ that?” _ he exclaimed. Loki didn't let go of Kate, lightly squeezing her to make it hard for her to breath.

Kate briefly flashed back to when Loki had choked her, but she pushed the memory away. “Pressure point,” she said through the fabric of what she assumed was his shirt. “It's quite wonderful to use if I do say so myself.”

_ “Really?” _

“Mhmm. Can you let me go now?”

“Apologize.”

_ Excuse me? _ “Why?”

“Because, you attempted to hurt me, and now you need to apologize.”

Kate hated being treated like a child, especially by this Loki person. He certainly wasn't going to get his way. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because. Apologizing for something means that you're sorry.” She actually was sort of sorry, but that was because she didn't like being a position where Loki was cutting off some of her ability to breath.

“I can make you sorry if I so choose, child.” Loki jabbed his fingers into her ribcage and she yipped, elbowing his face in the process. It squished, and Kate realized she had elbowed him right in the eye.

Loki recoiled, letting Kate go as he held his eye. Kate scrambled away, doing a somersault into a storage bin and hitting her head. Loki was up and pinned her to the plywood flooring in moments by her upper arms. There was a red elbow-point-shaped mark on his eye. It looked like it might even bruise. Loki smiled. “Well, hello.”

Kate felt an odd sexual tension. She didn't like it. She didn't like it in the slightest bit.

Her heart was beating practically out of her chest and through her lower vision, she could see her shirt beating along with it. She squirmed and attempted to kick Loki, but he kneeled on her feet. His knee-guards were pointy and poked in between the bones and tendons. There was a gleam of mischief in his green eyes.

_So, Loki likes to play rough,_ she thought, _very well, then._ Kate smiled the slightest bit and contorted her face to look like that of fear. She looked behind Loki and made sure to allow tears to well in her eyes. _“Loki.”_ Her voice shook as she manually shuddered. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "There's something behind you."

Loki glanced down and Kate knew he saw her heart beating through her shirt. “Now, I highly doubt that, girl, you just want to _win.”_

Kate swallowed. “No, I'm serious.” She almost wanted to move closer to Loki, to prove her fear, but she was almost positive that would result in being touched. “There's a story around the neighborhood that someone died up here from a heart attack. I think I found the ghost.” None of that was true. The original owners of the house had lived here most of their lives, then sold it to Kate's family when they went to live with their son and daughter-in-law. Nobody had ever died in this house, except maybe rodents or bugs.

Kate's lip quivered. When she was truly scared, she usually cried. She hoped she could make at least a couple tears fall. “He's right behind you.”

Loki's eyes went wide, and he let go of Kate, whirling around and summoning daggers—not that they would do much against a ghost.

In her moment of freedom, Kate rolled away and planted her feet on the top step. She got up and ran down, shutting the attic door and locking it before running out of the spare room and downstairs.

She ran right into Dad, who caught her. “Are you alright, honey?”

Only then did Kate realize her feigned fear had been real. “I saw a wasp nest.”

“Again? We sprayed just a few weeks ago.”

She nodded her head and blinked back the few tears threatening to escape her lower eyelid. “I thought the nest was empty cause there weren't any wasps nearby it so I was going to push it off of the screen and into the yard, but then a bunch of wasps flew out when I touched it so I ran.”

“Did you get stung?”

“I don't think so.”

Dad rubbed her back. He knew she had anxiety, but compared to everyone else in the family, he knew the least about what to do about it. Hugs were the only thing he could give, but sometimes, that was all Kate needed.

Only then did she realize she had left her phone in the attic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh wow a wild long boi update look at that


	7. The House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Run Free, Unleashed

A string of profanity Kate wouldn’t dare allow her lips of form ran through her head. Sure, she didn’t have very much of social media and what she had was public so she didn’t care if Loki saw it, but she could only _begin_ to imagine what the trickster god could post. Her youth group friends followed her!

Within her phone, there were art pieces and school assignments and other work she didn’t feel comfortable with him seeing. He could easily get through her passcode. He was the God of Mischief, after all.

Mars rubbed against her leg affectionately and Kate looked down. The cat’s eyes were curious orbs. Kate blinked and pulled away from her father’s hug. She picked up Mars, allowing the fluffy being to settle in her arms. Kate stuffed her face in the cat’s fur, breathing in the scent of the pine needles and fresh outside clinging to her pelt.

“You’re a weird child.”

Kate smiled. “I know.” She walked away from her father, carrying Mars as she went, and settled down on the couch. Kate looked down at Mars and stroked her. “I don’t need my phone. Who cares what he sees?” she muttered.

For a moment, she considered how insane she sounded—how insane she _felt._ Her heart was still pounding from the incident.

“I don’t need my phone. I’ll just hang out with you today.”

Kate rested Mars in her lap and the tortoiseshell curled up. Kate gently stroked her and stared at a wall. She had just recently downloaded a book on her phone and it was the only way she could read it. _Of course,_ the most recent chapter she had read ended on a cliffhanger. She would have continued reading, had it not already been midnight and a school night. Kate nibbled on her lip. “Dangit, Loki,” she muttered.

She stroked her cat again. “I don’t need to read the book. I can do it later. It will always be waiting for me, but quality time with you will not always be available, right, Mars?”

Mars looked up at her and let out a little chirp, jumping off of Kate's lap when she heard someone placing food in her bowl.

“Gee, thanks.” She sneered at Mars as the cat scampered away.

Kate then put on a higher-pitched tone, cocking her head the slightest bit. “Of course, human! Food is above social interaction.”

She blinked. “I really need some friends.”

She stood and grabbed Jake’s leash. It was still particularly early, but it was late enough that people were outside now. She called Jake over and attached his leash to his collar, then called out, “I’m going for a walk!”

Jake was ecstatic, jumping around wildly and scampering beside Kate despite the fact she was walking at a normal pace. He ran until his leash grew taught, stopped and waited for Kate to catch up, then restarted the process until he settled down enough to trot beside her with his tail wagging.

The neighborhood was easily a mile around and Kate rarely left the house. Especially since moving, she hadn’t spoken to people outside of her family; and although she loathed small talk, she had to admit, she was beginning to crave social interaction outside of those directly related to her.

Kate picked up a jog, going up the slight incline of the street until she reached an intersection. The main road branched off three separate times around the whole neighborhood, each road going about a quarter of a mile itself before ending in a cul-de-sac. Kate knew she would regret walking so much all at once later, but for now, she wanted to waste as much time as possible.

So, she turned onto the first cul-de-sac, and made her way down as she normally would when she went walking. There was a mother with her kids, walking with them while they rode on large plastic bikes with a large front wheel and two tiny back wheels.

Kate simply smiled and waved as she passed. When she did talk to adults, she didn’t really have many topics in common. Adults talked about parenthood, work, or events they had recently gone to. The most similar thing Kate had to any of those topics was school. She didn’t like going to school, so she refrained from ranting about it as much as possible.

By the time the two had walked around the entire cul-de-sac and were back on the main road, Kate had begun to wonder why Loki wasn’t annoying her. In the few hours she had known him, he at least did _something_ to annoy her. “It’s so peaceful in spring, idn’it, buddy?” Kate asked and pet Jake's head. The little dog started panting in the heat of the late-spring sun.

Kate smiled and looked ahead. Someone had put up a sprinkler in their yard to try to get grass seed to grow and the sprinkler sprayed a little bit of water onto the street. “You want some water, buddy?” she asked.

Jake perked his ears and picked his pace up to a trot, heading towards the cooling water. Kate laughed as she scampered under the stream of water, raining water over his white and tan fur and even spraying Kate a bit. She laughed as Jake shook off, his back legs losing their footing for a few moments and flying through the air.

“I love you, baby boy,” Kate cooed and pet him on the head again. When she looked up, she saw a couple of boys, maybe 8th or 9th grade, biking by. She smiled and waved as they nodded to her. One wore sunglasses, and the other didn’t have shoes on, but they both wore the same general outfit: basketball shorts and a graphic t-shirt. The boy with sunglasses didn't even look like he was attempting to match his clothing.

Kate heard the boys both laugh as she called behind her shoulder, “Two bros, chillin’ in a neighborhood, five feet apart, ‘cause they're not gay.”

She was glad they understood the reference, but also glad they didn’t circle around and start up a conversation. It was too early in the day to be worrying about that kind of thing.

Kate took a deep breath and sighed. A gentle breeze blew by and the late-blooming cherry blossoms swirled in the wind. It reminded her of a day in her childhood. Her aunt, a professional photographer, had come over to take pictures of Kate and her then-only-sibling so people could see pictures of them. Mom had dressed them up in cute spring outfits and fixed their hair and sent them outside. They were playing together when Aunt Mary arrived, bringing a giant basket taller than 4-year-old Kate for them to sit in and pose with.

Her gaze shifted, and Kate found herself back in the backyard of her childhood home. The maple tree was already green again and its branches created a perfect orb of greenery. The metal supports of the trampoline shone in the sun and lazy clouds drifted through the sky.

Aunt Mary arrived and came into the backyard. “Hey, guys!” she called and the two already-born kids ran to embrace her. Mom was sitting on the deck watching and smiled and waved, visibly tired as always. After a few more greetings, the photo shoot began. She sat in the basket at one point, smiling like a little kid until her turn was done, then swinging on the swing set until she was called back.

Kate felt woozy and stopped to regain herself. She looked around. She wasn't in the location she had started in. She had almost walked right into someone’s garden. She shook her head and continued forward, following the side of the road and going around another cul-de-sac.

For the rest of their walk, Kate made sure to stay completely and utterly aware. That had happened before, but never for such a distance. She had traversed at least 50 yards before realizing what had happened. Normally, it was just a few feet. Then again, normally that would only happen with recent memories. It had never happened in a completely new location with a memory she hadn't thought of in years.

Kate blinked as she reached the final stretch of the walk. There was one more cul-de-sac, then maybe 1/8th of a mile until home. Jake was panting with drool dripping off the tip of his tongue and leaving a little trail behind him. “Why don't we skip out on the last cul-de-sac, bud?”

Jake merely shook his head a bit in order to swat away a bug. Kate swatted the fly away, making sure it was a normal fly and not Loki in disguise.

Thankfully, It was a normal fly. Kate hummed to herself as she jogged across the intersection with Jake scampering beside her. He was panting quite a bit, and Kate noticed the slightest bit of a limp.

“You okay, buddy?” Kate slowed her pace and picked Jake up, beginning to carry him. He was surprisingly heavy for such a small dog, but she could handle it until their driveway, which had an incline.

Kate unhooked Jake's leash and let him walk the rest of the way up to the house. She opened the door for him and allowed him inside. He promptly drank from the water bowl. Had they not just come back from a long walk in the sun, Kate would have been worried about the amount he consumed.

She was about to grab her phone to absent-mindedly scroll through some sort of social media, but then she remembered. She looked at the clock, which read a short twenty-three minutes later than when she had left for her walk. She groaned.

“What's _your_ problem?” Max commented as he climbed onto the counter to get a cereal bowl.

Kate walked over and pulled her 8-year-old brother from off of the counter and grabbed a bowl for him. “Boredom—you wouldn't understand.”

“I bet I would.” He took the bowl from Kate's hand, poured a bowl of cereal for himself, and sat down at the kitchen table.

Kate's eyebrow quirked. “Very well, entertain me.”

Max looked at her. “That's not my job! Go read a book or play outside with your friends—never mind, you don’t have any.”

Kate stuck her tongue out and sneered. Max did the same right back at her.

“You're the one who said you would understand.”

“Doesn't mean it's my job to entertain you.”

"Oh," Kate realized, “when I said ‘entertain me’ I meant it as in spend time with me, not actually try to entertain me.”

“Then why didn't you just say that?” Max slurped at the straw pre-attached to his plastic bowl.

“Cause it sounds better.”

“No, it doesn't.”

“Yes, it does.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yeah-huh.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yeah-huh.”

“Don't you dare start that!” Mom called from the family room.

Kate and Max shared a look.

“Wanna play LEGO Star Wars with me?”

Kate blinked a couple of times. “Why not?” She shrugged, got up, and set up the game while Max finished his cereal.

Kate got lost in the hours staring at the TV screen. She had forgotten what it was like to just not care and play with her little brother for a while and it felt good to relax. She almost completely forgot about Loki.

_Almost._

 

*            *            *

 

It was 1 o'clock when they took a break to eat. Kate made grilled cheese for the two of them and once finished, they completed the level. Kate's eye hurt from staring at the bright screen, so she opted out of playing anymore. “I'll just read for a little while.”

She went into the living room and browsed the bookcase, arriving on a book her mother had read to her when she was little. She had no intention of reading it for very long, but she ended up getting sucked into the French fairy tales. The book was from her great-great-grandmother, passed down from mother to daughter with the spine slowly becoming more and more beaten up.

The book had been opened and the spine cracked so many times it was practically falling off. It certainly didn't help that Jake had chewed on the corner as a puppy. After a cup of tea was brewed, Kate ended up curling up on the couch with Jake and reading the fairy tales. They were silly, unrealistic, and relied too much on chance and luck, but it was something to do.

Still, she was getting bored re-reading the stories. She's already read them three times and had zero interest in any of the other books—they were mainly her dad's Stephen King novels or her mom's dramatic romance tales.

Kate looked at Jake and put the book down. “What do you think, buddy? Wanna go on another walk?”

Jake looked up at her, blinked, then laid his head back down on her lap in a definite ‘no.’ Kate giggled and pet his head. “Fine, I'll settle for just cuddling.”

She repositioned herself to be curled up around Jake and closed her eyes. It didn't seem like very long before she fell asleep with Jake snoring lightly beside her.

 

* * *

 

Loki paced in the attic. He was angry. He was _very_ angry. The girl knew just how to push his buttons and rile him up whether she intended to or not.

No, she had _certainly_ intended to. Loki couldn't figure out why she had spoken of the ghost, or why she had run away. It didn't make any sense—not that her mind did make any sort of sense in the first place. It was a maze of fandoms and lyrics and childhood productions fit into a small box. Amongst all of it, he could find secrets she would take to her grave. If he could navigate her maze-like mind, then he could get leverage over her and make her obey him, just as it had always meant to be.

She would bow to him, ultimately. Norns, the fact that she hadn't yet left Loki feeling a mixture between astonished and impressed. The only people who hadn't bowed to him were Mother, Thor, and Father, but they were family and also royalty. Anyone else who didn't bow was dead.

Loki would have followed her downstairs in a normal situation. He could easily use a bit of seiðr to mask himself and pursued her. Alas, he knew her well enough to know that wouldn't work. Through each and every timeline, force only made her metaphorically throw her head and bare her teeth like some sort of animal.

Damn her. Damn her to Hel for being so… _stubborn._ It was not his favorite trait. Partially because it was a trait within himself, but also because stubbornness didn't get him what he wanted. And he always got what he wanted. Even as a child, Mother had given him anything he wished. He would have to use his manners or have to complete a servant's task in order to get it, but he always got it.

Poor Frigga. He had been cruel to her. Not in this timeline, not _too_ much, at least. The worst of his behavior had stayed within the first few. Here, he worked out what Kate called “issues” and then went on with his life. To keep her alive, he couldn't be dealing with becoming the single most powerful being within all of the known—and unknown—universe. He had to stay focused and keep her in his view.

 _So far, so good,_ as she would say.

He just had to keep her temper in check and her abilities away from cameras. As long as he did that, he would be fine.

Everything would be just fine.

Loki shook his head and glanced down at the plywood floor. Where she had originally been sitting lay her phone. The nasty tiny box of magic and distractions that Kate clung to. Unlike some of the other humans he had met across the timelines, she wasn't attached to it and always on social media. she was usually just playing a game or keeping from socially interacting with strangers. That was something Loki actually understood.

He expanded his mental range and sensed for any beings nearby. The worst was the cat, who was curled up on the bed in Kate's little brother's room. Loki walked over and picked up the small box.

Kate had never taught him how to use it. He had never found interest, and she had never asked. He blinked and swallowed, staring at the strange thing. It was best he not break it, in fear that she _actually_ attempt to murder him (not that he couldn't simply fix it with a bit of magic), so he handled it with the same care she would a newborn bunny.

Loki pressed the button in the bottom center and the screen glowed to life.

 

* * *

 

A _thud_ sounded from above Kate's head. She had been barely falling asleep, and the loud sound easily woke her up. _Oh no,_ Kate thought, _no, no, no, no, no, no!_

She sprang up, apologizing to Jake when he fell over due to his backrest suddenly disappearing.

Kate did her best to quietly scramble up the stairs, practically sprinting down the hallways and into the spare bedroom. She passed the neatly-made bed and a startled Mars.

Kate stopped at the door, swallowing. She had been relatively quiet, thankfully, and if she was lucky, Loki wouldn't even know she was there and waiting to pounce.

She closed her eyes, hopeful that she could see through walls, and expanded her consciousness. It hurt quite a bit and the headache panged at the front of her skull, but all she could feel was Mars. Mars and Max, who was playing with Legos in his room directly across the hall. Kate gritted her teeth. _Great, now my head hurts and I still don't know what he's doing._

To say Kate was pissed was an under-exaggeration.


	8. The God of Mischief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Prelude to a Nightmare, Illumina Anthology

Loki's breath cut off in surprise. He juggled the thing, ultimately dropping it on the plywood flooring. The strange photo was a character Kate had told him about in a previous timeline—a morphing of two people into something she called Voldebean—but he had never actually _seen_ it. Although Loki had witnessed much carnage and beasts that would undoubtedly give Kate worse nightmares than those already plaguing her sleep, that thing was horrifying.

Thankfully, there was no damage done to the box that Loki could see. Words indicated he should ‘press home to unlock,’ so he pressed the little button again. Numbers and a passcode greeted him. The last he checked, the code had been 5-2-4-7. He pressed the Midgardian numerals (gently, of course) and the box opened to reveal a hub for all of Kate's applications.

Of course, he already knew what was in the box—he had seen it before in other timelines. Mostly it was just poems and little ideas that Kate could incorporate into the secret ballads and songs she hid at the end of a maze of folders. If he could remember correctly, the way to get to her songwriting was Writing, Misc., Creative Writing, Stupid Stuff, Poetry, then finally Songwriting. He only knew that because he went snooping one day when Kate had left the box on Asgard.

She wasn't going to be coming back for a week, and Loki was bored, so he went looking around her quarters. The shriek Kate had produced when she found a two-headed mouse with bleeding eyes upon her pillow would always sit fondly in his memory.

Loki scrolled through her music then looked at the useless time-wasting games Kate had. One thing he did find interesting, however, was her pictures. Mostly, it was just stupid pictures of her and her friends, things called “life hack,” for when she was older, or images of her domestic beasts, but something Loki found interesting was a screenshot of a link.

The link was relatively simple. Loki took the painstaking effort of copying each character one-by-one into an internet browser. There, he found a chatroom. “Well, what secrets do you hide, little Kitty?” he muttered to himself.

The chatroom was private, a small label in the top even showing that the privacy was paid for. Loki's lip twitched. Throughout every timeline, he had never found anything like this, whether it be while sneaking around or while talking to Kate.

The slightest chill ran across Loki's skin as he scrolled up through the chats. There were hours and hours of conversation going back for months. In an archive, he found it went back over three years. Loki's eyes ached slightly from the screen, but he began reading through the chats.

Kate was talking to a man—not a boy, or a ‘guy,’ as she would call it, a _man._ A full-grown _man._

There were photos. There were photos Kate should not have sent—photos she should not have taken in the first place. The archive revealed the raunchy images were going back those three years. This man had seen her when she was a mere 12-year-old who hadn't even begun to mature.

A stair creaked.

Loki jumped the slightest bit and slammed the box down, hoping it would enter sleep mode before whoever it was saw him. He transformed into a small fly, hiding on the ceiling and observing.

 

* * *

 

 

Kate stopped right before she opened the attic door. _You’re about to take your phone back from the most powerful sorcerer in all the realms. Get a weapon,_ the voice in her head advised. The fact she hadn’t thought of it before worried her.

Kate hurried downstairs and went into the kitchen. Sneaking a knife upstairs unnoticed would be a bit of a challenge, but she knew she could do it. Kate opened the drawer and slipped a large, sharp knife out. Commonly, her mother used it when preparing meat, so she knew it would be sharp.

As she was about to leave the kitchen, she noticed a few oranges sitting in a bowl. She took one out and began to cut it with the knife. After quickly eating the orange (making sure to coat the knife thoroughly with the juice) and throwing away the scraps, she made her way back upstairs.

Kate snuck over to the attic door barefoot, avoiding the spot where the floor always creaked and silently opened up the door. She stealthily made her way up the stairs and used a mirror kept in storage to check the room as best as the tight angle would allow. Kate swallowed and leaped up the last few steps, brandishing the knife and her teeth in preparation.

There was nothing.

Kate blinked twice and relaxed. A bit of orange juice dripped off of the knife, hitting the floor and soaking into the plywood unnoticed. Her phone was sitting on the floor, screen down, with Loki nowhere to be seen.

Kate's eyes flickered across the attic and into shadowy corners. She snuck across the floor, checking in hiding spots for him with the knife held up in defense. He was nowhere.

"Praise the Lord Almighty," she sighed and picked up her phone.

The screen glowed to life as she accidentally tapped it with her knuckle. It revealed the chatroom archive. Her stomach dropped.

No, her stomach utterly left her body. Heat swept through her torso in an anxious flush, and her breath left her chest. He _knew._ Nobody knew. It was her best-kept secret, and he _knew!_ She should have fought him off and taken her phone back sooner!

Kate fled the attic, scrambling down the stairs with her heart skipping a beat when she almost fell. Just as she was about to slam the door shut and shove a box in front of it, something grabbed and pulled her back in.

Kate tried to scream. Tears threatened to leave her cheeks. Her throat felt thick.  Her voice didn't work as she shrieked behind the hand over her mouth. Although she knew she was yelling as loud as she could, it felt like she was in one of those dreams where in real life she couldn't breathe because of the position she was laying in, so her mind was trying to tell her to wake up and move.

But, she _could_ breathe. She could breathe in through her nose as she was dragged up the stairs against her will.

He _knew._ He _knew!_ Who would he tell? What leverage would her exploit? A droplet of saline tears ran down Kate’s cheek and onto Loki’s pale hand.

"Stop fighting me, you dumb girl!" Loki hissed.

Kate tried to bite him, even tried licking him again, but it didn't work this time. Firstly, Loki knew she would; secondly, he was not going to let her run. He probably wouldn't let her run ever again.

Perhaps he was going to kidnap her away to another one of the Nine Realms, and someone would have to save her. How would she possibly explain this?

Loki threw Kate against the floor, and a splinter jabbed into her hand. She coughed, tears falling down her face now. The two trails joined at her nose and dripped down at the tip. Her arms were shaking, and she felt weak. She _hated_ feeling weak.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki winced the slightest bit when he heard the girl whimper. How had this happened? It didn't happen in any other timeline; in all the others, she had gotten away before anything could occur.

Before he could say anything, Loki used his seiðr and cast an enchantment to keep anyone outside of the room from hearing them. "Who is he!" he then yelled.

Kate fell the rest of the way to the ground, sobbing now.

“Don't try to worm your way out of this, veslingr! I demand an answer!”

Loki moved in front of her and grabbed her by the shoulders. She was forced to look at him with tears falling down her face. She attempted to sniffle in some bit of dignity, but her nose was already too stuffed up.

Her grey eyes couldn’t meet him, and the golden flecks within her irises were blurred and mutated from her tears. Her hair fell in her face, some chunks of it wet from the mess she was creating.

Loki reached up to dry her eyes, and Kate weakly smacked his hand away. He had meant to scare her, but not like this. This was far beyond what he had intended.

“Alright, alright, I'm sorry. Just—just tell me who he is.”

“Why the heck would I?”

Loki laughed. “Ooh, you said ‘heck!’ I suppose you're being serious now, aren't you?” It was a lousy attempt to lighten the mood.

She gave him a hard glare.

“Please?”

Kate wiped away tears with her sleeve. “His name is Michael Smith. Now go away.” She shook Loki’s hands off of her shoulders. Loki practically let them fall.

 _The mortal shall pay,_ he thought. He would have said it aloud, but Kate had such a compassionate gaze upon _all_ life she saw that she most likely would have hated him more than she already did.

“Why are you speaking to him.” It was a command rather than a question.

“I wanted to.”

“No, you do not, Katherine. We both know that.”

Kate couldn’t meet his gaze as she bit her lip. Loki tried to take her hand, but she pulled it away. “I didn’t know who he was. I thought he was who he said he was.”

“Why not walk away?”

Kate swallowed and sniffled again. Her chin still quivered, and her voice cracked every few words. “I can’t. I need an excuse, and I can’t get one without telling my parents.”

“Stop talking to him. It is easy.”

Kate looked at him. Her eyes were tired. “Says the God of Lies.”

“He is not safe. You must see that.”

Kate chewed her lip until it bled. Loki watched her lick away the slit of blood, pretending he didn’t notice her cringing the slightest bit at the taste. “He's been with me through thick and thin. I can’t just leave him.”

For the first time in a while, Loki spoke nothing but the truth. “How can you not ‘just leave him?’ He _wants_ you. He's been using you to get to what he considers to be a need.” He couldn't understand her thinking process. Her mind distorted the situation to see the good in this man—it was quite naïve of her.

She began to cry again. “I’d feel guilty.”

Loki tried to comfort her, but she rejected his advances with ease. What was it with her and emotional connections? Whether it be she despised them or was scared of them, it took forever to break her barriers truly in every single timeline—granted, Thor's teasing in half of those didn't help anyone, but the point still stood.

“To Hel with guilt! He is taking advantage of you!”

Kate shook her head. “I won’t allow us to meet in person. I’ve rejected him on that front. As long as we stay just online, I’m safe.”

“Safe? _Safe?”_ Loki's voice rose loud enough for Kate to shrink away. “You have sent images to him! He has seen you! He's most likely willing to kidnap you by now! And you just sit here, acting as if all is well?”

Kate whimpered something. Her voice was so quiet Loki could not hear her words.

“Speak up, child.”

When she spoke again, her words were too garbled from crying even to attempt to understand. Loki summoned a handkerchief and handed it to her. “Here. Wipe away your _pitiful_ tears.”

Kate sniffled again and wiped her eyes, blowing her nose afterward. She awkwardly looked at the handkerchief, then around for someplace to dispose of it. Loki simply whisked it away and back to Asgard. If Thor saw it, he would undoubtedly ask if Loki was helping someone—perhaps a woman. Loki would easily be able to lie his way out of it.

There was someone more important to deal with at the moment. “Now speak,” Loki commanded.

Kate swallowed and coughed a bit. “If I leave, he’ll release them.”

“Release them?”

Her voice was so quiet, Loki could once again barely hear her. “The photos, he’ll release them to his… _friends.”_

Even when she was this young, too young for her to be truly attractive to him, he felt the need to _protect._ “He has stated so?”

“Yes.”

Loki gritted his teeth. “Where does he hide?”

Kate looked up at him. Her eyes darted wildly across their sockets. “What? Why?”

“Tell me.”

Kate shied away once more. “I-I don’t know.” She shrugged. “He never told me.”

“Have you told him your location?”

Kate shook her head. “I could probably find him or get him to tell me.”

“Very well. Go.”

Kate sat up, her eyes still wet with tears. “Where?”

“Go find where he is, girl, then tell me immediately.” Loki relaxed his conscious, passively entering her mind without her noticing.

There was twisted conflict unlike he had ever seen before. It was like a distorted version of a place called Wonderland, which Kate had told him about during her little obsession towards 2-dimensional animation in the third timeline.

The majority of her being wanted to do away with this man and go on with her life in peace, but another subtle part of her wanted to see what would become of her secret _adventure._

Her mind connected the situation to her feelings towards Loki; she wanted to be in control and scream until he disappeared forever. Yet, once again, there it was—the smallest bit of restraint that prevented her from moving on. It was quite the annoyance, and yet it was what Kate was listening to.

The child was foolish.

At that moment, Loki realized that he should stop calling her _child._ Children did not experience something as dangerous as the situation she was currently in. She didn’t even seem to realize the peril she was in.

The worst part was, Kate would not listen to him. She had already made that decision, he knew, as she shut the attic door behind her. Loki let out a growl and slammed his fist against a storage bin. The thing cracked and toppled, clothes spilling out.

With a swish of his hand, he cleaned up the mess and put up a ward. If Kate re-entered the attic, he would know. He then whisked himself to a more private location and called on Heimdall, who brought him back to Asgard.

“The girl is uncooperative once again, Sire?”


	9. The Kill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: He Who Brings the Night, Power of Darkness

Loki stopped.  _ Again? _ “What did you say?”

Heimdall looked at Loki with a golden gaze. “You know what I said, Prince.”

Loki was frozen. How did he know?

“I see all, Your Highness.”

Loki's eyes went wide. “Will you say anything to mother and father?”

Heimdall smiled. “Do you wish me to say anything?”

“No.”

“Then I will not.”

Loki did not believe him. He had no reason not to—Heimdall had only ever told him the truth—but he did not trust anyone in this situation. “Swear it.”

“I swear I will not say anything to the majesties, Prince Loki of Asgard.”

Loki’s lips thinned. A broken swear was punishable by the loss of one’s hand, precedented by Tyr, who had lost his hand after a broken promise while trying to keep Fenrir at bay. Loki still felt guilty for the binding of his wolven offspring, but the mighty beast had gotten out-of-hand long ago. He had never done anything too awful, but his jaws were a danger to Asgardians and others lesser than them.

Even so, that did not matter at the moment. “Can you see that man?”

“What man, Your Highness?”

Loki gritted his teeth. “You  _ know  _ ‘what man!’” he exclaimed and stared Heimdall right in the face. “Michael Smith.”

Heimdall gazed past his eyes and into the nothingness as per usual. “There are many Michael Smiths, Your Highness; you’ll have to be more specific.”

“The child lover!” Loki was growing desperate. His eyes widened. His voice grew strained. “Can you see him?”

Heimdall’s eyes shut. When they opened again, his irises flicked to look at Loki. “I have found him.”

Loki practically grabbed Heimdall by the shoulders. “Where?”

“A city in the United States of America known as New York City, the sector of Manhattan—”

“Yes, I know where Manhattan is. Where is he specifically?”

Heimdall’s eyes shut again, and Loki blinked. When his own eyes opened again, he could see through Heimdall’s view. He was on a lonely alleyway; a dingy blue door was to his left. He walked through it and up the stairs. What he saw he had not expected—it was a relatively decent home with clean furniture and a dank smell to it that alluded to mildew. There, sitting on the couch, was a fat man with a fresh grease stain on his shirt, eating pizza while watching television. He was relatively young, although past his prime. Loki placed him at maybe his mid-thirties in Midgardian years. His cell phone box, which sat beside him, buzzed to life. It was the chat, from someone named Hannah.

Had he strung in multiple girls? Loki walked forward on quiet feet. He knew the man could not see him, but Loki preferred the silence.  _ We should get together some time, _ it read. As the man saw it, he paused his show, put down his pizza, and sat up.

Loki glared. Only a man with no scrap of honor could ever do something so…  _ armr. _ For a brief moment, Loki thought of Kate. She would have asked what armr meant. Of course, he wouldn’t have told her. He too thoroughly enjoyed watching her struggle to figure out his native tongue.

The man spoke aloud as he typed out what he said. Loki had never understood why some Midgardians did that—although he figured it was because they were too dull to speak it in their heads. Even so, he appreciated it now. Every few words had an annoying splice of silence between them. “I… was just thinking… the same thing—dammit, where’s the tongue smiley-face—why not… meet… me at a… park down… near… where you… live?”

It only took a few moments for Hannah’s swift finger’s to reply. _ I was thinking closer to you… you said you live in New York, right? I have a school trip coming up that I could probably slip away from and meet you at some point. What’s your address? _

The man paused. He let out a little grumble. “Why not… just… meet… in a… park?”

Another paused.  _ It’ll be too obvious that I’m gone, plus people might see us. If you give me the address, they won’t know where I am. _ Hannah—Loki realized it was probably Kate—was rather eager to meet him.

The man was swift to reply with his address, practically handing Loki precisely what he needed. He smiled, and when he blinked again, he was back on Asgard.

“Are you sure about this, Your Highness? If you are to get caught, there certainly will be consequences to your actions.”

“It’s quite simple, Heimdall, they won’t catch me.”

“Very well. Shall I send you there now?”

Loki wasn’t one to ask, but this situation was unique. “Please.”

Heimdall nodded his head, and in the next few moments, Loki was in Manhattan. It had improved since his attack, although it still smelled horrid. Loki transformed into his usual Midgardian wear, used some simple seiðr in order to blend in, and walked away towards the address given.

 

*          *          *

 

He reached the alleyway within the hour and knocked on the door.

There was no reply, so he knocked again.

Nothing.

Loki gritted his teeth. He did not have time for something like this. He knocked one last time. When there was no reply, he became a pigeon—something he had seen quite often around the large city—and flew up to a window. He pecked at the screen, breaking it with relative ease. The room he was breaking into smelled of rotting food and general filth and the door led out into the room he had seen the man in.

Loki pecked a small hole into the screen and crawled through. He transformed back, sneaking through the shadows with ease until he saw the man. He was still conversing with Hannah, making sure to speak whatever he typed, and Loki slipped into the ample space between the couch and the wall. He summoned a knife and placed it on the man’s neck, leaning down to say: “My Hela, Goddess of Death, dream of you, foul creature.”

He slipped the knife across the man’s neck, allowing the blade to slice into a particularly important vein so he would bleed out. Blood spurted from the slight wound, and he yelled, impulsively trying to stand up. The knife drove deeper into his neck. The man recoiled, violently writhing on the couch as crimson blood spilled from his neck and across his body. He was letting out a blood-curdling scream, but Loki was calm and steady. He held the man by the nose, ceasing him from breathing, and blood burst from his mouth as he coughed it up.

At long last, his body went limp. Loki released him, and he fell onto the couch, blood still pouring from his wound and soaking into the fabric.


	10. The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Twisted Children, Halloween

Kate replayed the conversation over and over in her head.

 

_ “You  _ what?” _ Kate exclaimed. _

_ Loki did not care about her ire, she could see that. _

_ They were in the attic again, Loki ducking from the short Midgardian height of the ceiling, and he had just told Kate why Michael was no longer responding. _

_ “If you must have me repeat it, girl, I will—” _

_ Kate was quick to interrupt him. “I know what you said. The ‘what’ was out of  _ pure disbelief.”  _ Her brown ponytail bobbed as she shook her head. _

_ Loki flashed his teeth. His smile always made her smile and, dangit, he knew that. Thankfully, he was in his mythological form and with the additive of her anger, it didn’t work. _

_ “You are safe now, that is all that matters.” _

_ “You killed a man, and you feel no remorse!” _

 

Kate rolled over and adjusted her covers. At her feet lied the little corgi she loved and Loki had seemingly left after their argument.

 

_ “Some men deserve to die without their killer feeling remorse.” _

_ Kate was practically smoldering with resentment. “He was a pedophile, not Hitler, for Pete’s sake!” _

_ Remarkably, Loki was completely calm. “You say that far too lightly, Katherine.” _

_ His calm only made Kate angrier.  “You don’t even know who Hitler is, do you?” _

_ Loki rolled his eyes. “I have read enough of petty Midgardian power struggles to be able to figure it out.” _

_ Kate grit her teeth. “Just leave.  _ Please.” _ Kate whirled around and walked away. It wasn’t like she could go talk to someone. She would have to sort through her emotions alone. _

 

It was dark outside now, and all of Kate’s family had gone to sleep. She sat up and kicked off the blankets; there was no use in trying to sleep when she was wide awake. Jake only stirred a bit, blinking as Kate got up and began to quietly pace the length of her room. She ran her fingers through her hair as she stressed.

There was the softest knock at her door, and Kate stopped. When she opened it, she found Max with teary eyes.

Kate ruffled his hair. “What’s the matter, bug?”

“I had a bad dream. Can I stay with you for a little while?”

Kate smiled softly. “‘Course.”

Max entered her bedroom, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Kate sat down beside him and wrapped her arm around him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Max buried his face in Kate’s shirt. “I started out in my classroom, and someone was calling me, so I followed them. I could walk on air, and the floor started falling away, but I kept walking then there was this big black monster, and it was the thing calling my name! Then I woke up.”

Kate let Max snuggle a bit closer to her, looking around the room for his eyes. Thankfully,  _ he _ was nowhere to be seen. "What did you say?"

Apparently, Max did not feel like repeating himself. "I died by a black monster that was calling my name."

"Where were you?"

"In my classroom."

Kate blinked, her irises flickering across her eyeball as she looked around. "You know, that is really scary," Kate comforted. "You wanna pray about it?"

Max still said the basic memorization prayer when he went to bed, but sometimes Kate liked to have him say proper prayers with her. "I guess." Max coughed a bit. Dear God, please let me have good dreams. Amen." It was short and to-the-point—as Max usually was.

Kate smiled softly. She loved this little kid so much.

As Max tried to calm down, Kate found herself considering the alike dreams. She expanded her mind across the room—ignoring the growing ache in her head—and attempted to speak.  _ Loki, if you can hear me, what did you do to Max? _

There was no reply, although Kate could feel some sort of presence in her closet. Of course, he was picking now of all times to show a cold shoulder, right when he was actually willing to talk to him, even if she was still furious.

_ It's my fault, _ Kate thought. Had she been diligent, her friend would still be alive.

_ Alive. _ His soul was in hell, suffering for an eternity now. Kate felt sorry for him. Sure, he had forced her to do things she did not want to remember and manipulated her and blackmailed her, but he didn't deserve to suffer for an eternity. Truly, did anyone?

_ Yes, _ her own inner voice reminded. Only those who believed in God and gave their lives to him wouldn't suffer.

She wanted to walk with that justice, but it seemed cruel. Did anyone deserve to suffer for an eternity in death, for making mistakes in life? Did anyone deserve to live in happiness for an eternity, for saying a few words and living a certain way? The latter was true, so so must the former.

Kate shook her head. She needed to stay away from her mind this late at night, but there was nothing for her to do. She didn't have her headphones in her room so she couldn't watch a movie or listen to music. Fatigue made her mind blank, but insomnia refused to let her sleep. Kate grunted in annoyance and flopped on her bed.

Jake stuttered, lifting up his head to look over at his beloved owner. He swallowed, then laid his head back down when Kate didn't do anything. From in the hallway, Mars scratched at the door. Kate got up and let her in, petting her and looking over at her dresser.

On top was something she knew she shouldn't give to Mars so late at night, but she didn't necessarily care. Kate got up, grabbing the container and shaking it twice. Mars immediately perked up, staring at the bottle of catnip like it was a drug. Kate smiled, shaking it out onto the carpet for her kitten to enjoy. Mars immediately laid down, alternating between eating it and rolling in it. Either way, she knew how to get catnip absolutely everywhere.

Kate sat beside the cat, stroking her fur and brushing out any knots her fingers. She loved her animals so much; she didn't know what she would do without them.

Kate looked at the clock. Somehow, it was only 2 A.M., although it felt much later.

She lost track of time absent-mindedly playing on her phone. She watched videos with inaccurate Google subtitles and took pictures of her pets in the poor lighting. At least two hours later, she laid down beside Mars, closed her eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

 


	11. The Collar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Birth of a Hero, Classics, Vol. 1

Kate woke up next to Mars, who was purring the slightest bit, now that she realized her owner was awake. Kate herself had a blanket over top of her and a pillow beneath her head. Sleeping had undoubtedly helped with her emotions—in fact, she didn’t feel a single _speck_ of anger. She blinked a couple of times.

Her phone was placed beside the pillow with the charger hooked up and strewn across the floor. Jake was still on her bed, curled up in a nest of covers. Kate smiled and pushed herself up, sleepily petting Mars and looking at the time. It was already 10:15.

She had church in a half hour, but she wanted to talk to Loki first. After making sure everyone was downstairs and nobody would hear her, Kate swallowed. “Loki?” she called quietly.

A shadow slipped out of her closet of all places and came into the dim lighting of her bedroom. “Yes, Milady?”

‘Milady’ was new. Kate shrugged if off. “I need to apologize for being so angry.”

“Understandably,” was the only reply. Loki’s calm was still annoying.

It was that slight annoyance that made Kate stop. Her anger had seemed to disperse, quite literally, _overnight_. That was certainly not normal, especially for her. Her eyes trailed to the floor in thought. She looked over the tops of her glasses at Loki and cocked an eyebrow. He blinked back at her.

“You did something, didn’t you?”

Loki clasped his hands behind his back. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean.” The slight smile he gave her almost led Kate to believe him.

Kate narrowed her eyes. Anger bubbled within her stomach; a combination of the fact Loki had killed someone, and because he had meddled with her thoughts—mainly the former. Sitting deep within her mind, daring not to be the first thing she said, lay the question: _what had he seen?_

It took all of Kate’s self-control to ignore it and instead pour her entire being into one quick slap, which threw Loki the slightest bit off balance. The resounding noise seemed to echo through the mainly-empty room.

He briefly flashed a smile, closing his eyes and sighing. “Did you really think that would hurt, Kitten?”

Kate’s mouth dropped half-open as she let out a scoff. “Kitt-”

The rest of the word had formed, but some sort of magic prevented it from being voiced. Loki had a smug smile on his face. “You must learn not to tempt a god.” His fingers trailed underneath her chin, raising her to meet his gaze.

Kate’s lips were pursed, her jaw rolled forward. She pressed against his mind, finding a wall of gold blocking her. Kate tried to push past it, and part of it became invisible. On the other side, Loki smiled and waved.

Kate backtracked, running at the wall and ramming into it. Her head panged. She rammed again, the headache grew worse. Kate glared, backing up and running at the wall once more. Instead of hitting it or breaking it, it dispersed, and she lost her balance, falling into Loki’s thoughts.

He looked down at her, laughing.

Kate stood and brushed herself off. _And you must learn not to mess with my mind, you little cretin._ Her lip twitched like an animal.

 _Ooh, cretin! You’re getting_ serious _now! Perhaps I should have to put a collar on you_. In the scene Loki had imagined, she could see her reflection in the golden walls. Kate discovered she was now wearing something similar to a choker. It was golden with blue accents.

 _I am not your pet. Now, get this thing off of me_ . As the thoughts left her mouth, a zapping sensation wrapped around her neck in a thin rope. Within the corporeal world, Kate recoiled with a yelp. Her hands flew to her neck to grasp at nothing. _Loki!_ Another shock hit her.

Mars scampered out of the room, Jake lifting his head to look at Kate in curiosity.

“Yes?”

Kate gritted her teeth. She looked around, grabbing a pen and pad of paper from off her floor. She madly scribbled, ripping the paper and practically shoving it in Loki’s face.

His irises flickered across the yellow page before smiling at her. “Oh, Darling, you _must_ learn to watch your language! I didn’t know your tongue could use such colorful terms!”

Something inside her stirred when he used the name. _Darling_. No one had ever called her darling before, even if it was in a sarcastic manner.

Kate wrote again, showing Loki the pad.

He laughed lightly. “I suppose you _didn’t_ say it, did you?”

Kate shook her head. She stabbed her pointer finger at the original piece of paper. Loki stepped closer, bending down the slightest bit to tower over Kate. She had to crane her neck in order to meet his gaze. “Take this as a… _punishment_ , if you will. Perhaps if you’re a good girl and behave through you’re little service I’ll give you back your freedom.”

Kate let out an animalistic growl. _My freedom?_ Her nails dug into her palms through the pain as she screamed at Loki. _You can’t do that!_

He laughed again, patting her on the head. “Feel free to, if I have the phrase correct, ‘try me,’ little one.”

Kate’s face screwed up in anger. She whirled around, leaving her room and not even bothering to wash her face or brush her hair or get dressed. She was about to go downstairs when she returned to find Loki holding the piece of paper still. “Back so soon?”

Kate snatched the item, ripping up and throwing out the used paper so nobody could find and read it. She went downstairs, writing a somewhat-neat sentence and handing the paper to her mother.

She looked over it. “Have you had some tea with honey?” She felt her daughter’s forehead, cheeks, and neck. “You don’t feel warm.”

Kate shrugged. She faked a croak, just barely holding back a wince as electricity jittered through her skin.

“Are you up to church today?”

Kate nodded, writing on the pad that she would get ready. Her argument had wasted a whole 10 minutes, and she still needed to get breakfast and dress. Max was sitting at the table in his slightly-nicer-than-normal church clothes and eating a bowl of oatmeal. Kate walked over and hugged him, but Max pushed her away. “Don’t get your nasty sick germs near me!”

Kate gave him a look and wrote extra-neatly on the pad, showing it to him.

“ _I’m not sick_. Then why don’t you have a voice?”

The sound of a ballpoint pen on paper filled the air.

“Excuses, excuses,” Max tisked.

Kate rolled her eyes and lightly hit him upside the head. She walked through the hallway and to the stairs, returning to her room and expanding her mind in search of the God of Mischief, just to make sure he was still there.

Loki slunk from the shadows. “I didn’t think you missed me this much.”

Kate waved him off. She went to her closet, pulling out one of her Sunday dresses and leaving without acknowledging his existence in any other way.

Kate changed in the bathroom, fixing her hair and putting on minimal makeup. As she brushed out her hair, she froze. Her reflection held the shock collar. Kate tried to reach up to touch it, but all she could feel was her skin. Her eyes narrowed, and she leaned forward.

His voice echoed through her mind, _It’s funny what a bit of seiðr can do, isn’t it?_ Strangely, she couldn’t feel him pressed up against her conscious.

Kate blinked, leaving the bathroom and ignoring Loki. She threw her old clothes into the hamper and went back downstairs. Quickly, she ate a couple of breakfast bars and put her shoes on, collecting her church things and going outside.

Kate looked up at the late-spring sky. From the roof, a small origami snake flitted in the wind. It landed on her shoulder, wrapping around the rim of her ear and turning into a silver earpiece.

Kate reached up to inspect the thing, her hand jumping away when it bit her with little silver fangs. _I did not give you permission to touch me, mortal._

Kate sneered. She so desperately wanted to snap at him, but the shocks had been getting noticeably stronger.

_Although, you seemed rather enthusiastic to do so._

She found it increasingly difficult not to make offensive hand gestures. Instead, Kate just rolled her eyes and pulled out her pen. _Why are you here anyway?_ She wrote and raised it to her ear.

_To… keep you in check. I can’t have you just barging your way through the collar. What would you learn?_

Kate shut her eyes, raised her brow, and took a deep breath. She was going to spend her free time today formulating just what she would say to Loki once she was liberated from the collar.

She could still feel Loki pressed against her conscious, and she already knew if she tried to block him out, she would receive a migraine and a shock that would probably hurt for a prolonged period of time.

Kate climbed into the car, writing away on her little yellow pad. She was about to raise it to her ear again, but Loki stopped her.

_I know you’re not writing words for own enjoyment—I can read it from here._

She scrawled a quick “very well” at the top of the page, glancing over to the side despite the fact she knew he was out of her view.

Loki tisked. _I can’t just leave you to your thoughts. Well, your family is coming outside now, so best you not look too suspicious, scrawling words for nobody to read. Have fun in silence._ Kate could have sworn she heard a mocking kiss sound echo through her head. Thankfully, Loki receded a bit so she could have at least _some_ privacy.

 

*          *          *

 

They arrived at church, and Kate sat down. She wasn’t much of a social butterfly here, so most people didn’t disturb her except the pastor, who gave her a passing ‘hello.’

After worship, in which Kate quietly stood instead singing like usual, the service started, and everyone settled down. The pastor began by talking about a fight he had had with his mother when he was young, and thinking why he didn’t just leave the house since he was over 18 and legally could.

He explained forgiveness, a strength that sometimes Christians couldn’t muster because of anger or fear or pain. _I know how that feels._

But sometimes, one had to be the better man than the Devil. One should always be the better man than the Devil, but humans were fallen creatures. They fought back where they could, but sometimes they gave in to sinful desires.

Kate certainly didn’t want to forgive Loki. Not a single bone in her body wished to forgive him. He had meddled with her mind. He had killed a man for no real reason. She was unaffected by what the man had done. Kate was fairly good at hiding things and brushing them under the rug and forgetting they occurred.

On the one hand, she didn’t want to give in to Loki. On the other hand, she didn’t want to give in to the Devil even more. When she went to a children’s bible study summer camp, every year the leaders would go through ‘God’s Armor.’ It was from one biblical book or another, put into similar terms for young children to understand. They’d even had a little model that as they explained would dress from serf rags to Roman battle armor.

 _How ironic._ Kate suppressed a laugh.

There was the Belt of Truth, Chestplate of Righteousness, Shoes of Peace, Shield of Faith, Helmet of Salvation, and Sword of The Spirit. It was one of the few things truly engrained in her brain from the many summers spent at the camp.

Pretty much all of those were the opposite of Loki. _Perhaps he’s the Devil in disguise, he_ is _a snake._

Kate let out a less-than-quiet cough as shocks wracked through her body, a few people turning their heads to find the source of the sound.

_Damn you._

It took most of her self-control to keep her hands on her lap instead of them flying up to her neck and clawing at the non-existent collar. _Collar_. She was not an animal, and this was not a collar.  It was a… necklace, a fashionable choker only she could see.

After a few examples of forgiveness in the Bible and references to Jesus, the service ended with worship, and Kate promptly went to the car. Mom still had to get Max from the kid’s program and was probably going to socialize beforehand, so she’d have a bit of time alone.

Well, not really _alone_.

Kate felt movement at the shell of her ear, the snake magically turning back into Loki. Loki, who happened to be sitting on her lap. His weight was crushing. _Literally_. Pain ripped through her legs, and Kate was almost positive she heard them both crack. She cried out, doubling over best to her ability and desperately trying to squirm free from the overwhelming pressure.

“Oh, dear, is something wrong?”

Kate wasn’t sure if he was saying ‘dear’ as a pet name, or as in the phrase ‘oh, dear.’

Colors danced across her vision. Tears threatened to pour out of her eyes. What was this meant to do? “Get off of me,” Kate croaked. She barely even noticed the shock.

Loki ran his finger along her jawline. “Can I at least have a please?”

“Please.”

“And a title?”

Kate glared, her vision blurry, and used all of the strength she could muster. A cold feelings shot through her body, starting at the tips of her limbs and rushing all through her to her heart. It bundled and grew at her head, rushing down across her entire being.

Kate could feel the air around her dry as ice appeared, shoving Loki off of her and into the middle set of seats. The cold felt quite nice, actually, numbing the pain a bit. Kate stared at her hands, blood rushing out of her nose and dripping onto the skirt of her dress. She caught the flow in her palms, ignoring the ice that covered the inside of the car and currently held Loki against the car’s center console.

Loki easily broke from the ice, melting it and evaporating it into the air before anyone could see. He sat up, righting his clothing. Before Kate could do anything else, the blood in her hands disappeared. No more pooled and the spot on her dress disappeared. Even the pain in her legs disappeared. “What the heck was _that?”_

There was no shock. Kate looked at her reflection in the window and found the choker gone.

Loki smiled. It was different than the smiles she had seen in the little while he had known him. This smile was… _earnest_ , as if he genuinely meant to smile.

“Now the real fun begins.”

“That doesn’t tell me what the heck that was.”

“Untapped power, brewing beneath the surface and just _aching_ to be free.” Loki fluidly moved towards her. “And you have freed it.”

 _So he wasn’t lying._ At least that meant that possibly Kate could trust him, at least a bit more than she thought she could. _“Believe it or not, I'm here to keep you safe.”_ How was unleashing this ‘untapped power’ keeping her safe?

“Training begins this afternoon. I’ll put up spells so no one will notice, and any and all cameras must be removed from your room.”

Her eyebrow rose. “My room? You do realize I practically live in there, right?”

Loki sat on the seat beside her, their arms brushing. “Yes, that is the point. It won’t raise suspicions. Don’t worry—I’ll right any wrongs before leaving.”

“Leaving? You’re leaving?”

Loki cocked his head. “I didn’t know you cared!” he exclaimed sarcastically, his hand over his heart and looking at her with mocking gaze. “And, yes, I will be leaving. S.H.I.E.L.D. likes to keep a close eye on me, and if not them, a certain _doctor._  If I’m here for too long, they might get the sense something is wrong. I use wards to keep away overly invasive people, but I’d rather not get caught… _Speaking of_ —” Loki disappeared, reforming out of thin air as the earpiece once more. _Remember to keep your voice down, mortal. You don’t want to get caught, either._

 _Yes, I’m aware,_ thank you.Kate was actually quite surprised Loki had removed the choker. She hadn’t exactly been a ‘good girl.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in like three months, lol. My summer was crazy busy and I'm back in school now, so I should be able to have a bit more structure in my life.


	12. The Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: She’s A Superhero, Heaven Anthology

It had begun to rain on the way home, a light sprinkle falling from the pale grey clouds that had coated the sky. _You should hope this doesn’t turn into a storm._

_Oh? Why is that, Kitten?_

Irritation twinged at Kate. Had she not randomly activated magical ice powers that made her nose bleed like something from a television show, she would sass him back. Sadly, she _had_ randomly activated magical ice powers that made her nose bleed like something from a television show, so she held the retort dancing on her tongue.

_A certain bird told me you weren’t a huge fan of thunder._

_You need to find new conversation partners._

_It’s a saying._

_I know._

Kate could hear Loki’s laugh in her mind. She struggled to hide a little smile. It was kind of cute, actually. It made Kate feel good to make someone laugh. She decided although she was still very angry with him, that she would accept the God of Lies and what he had done. It wasn’t as though there was much she could do about it now, anyway.

 _I will not apologize for my_ rightful _emotions, Loki, but I will live with your choices._ She said it rather matter-of-factly.

_Oh? Am I forgiven?_

_You never apologized._

_I beg your pardon?_

Kate struggled not to make a face. _In order to be forgiven, you must apologize? You’re a prince, didn’t you have some fancy etiquette class or something growing up?_

 _A class, yes._ Following _the etiquette learned is a choice, Kitten._

Kate rolled her eyes, resting her head against the window and letting the rumble of the car eventually lull her into a doze. It only lasted about five minutes, since they arrived home shortly thereafter, but it had been enough to keep Loki at bay.

An invisible thread seemed to steer her right to her room with little to no excuse as to her behavior. It wasn’t all that unnormal for her to go right up to her haven after church, anyway.

Loki slunk from her ear into the air, a little green light turning him back into himself once more. He was no longer the familiar Loki, but the strange man with a beard. Kate did not like it.

With the simple wave of his hand, a green wave flew around and encased the walls—even the closet. The magic shimmered and when Kate reached out to touch it, her hand flew through it. “It blocks out any and all sound and protects the walls from possible damage. Should your presence be required by a family member, an illusion will be cast and you will be able to leave.”

“Can anyone else see it?”

“No.”

“Cool.”

He let out a little huff of laughter. “Is your reply out of speechlessness or apathy, mortal?”

Kate raised an eyebrow. “Neither?”

“Do you find my abilities uninteresting?”

Her face screwed up in confusion. _What kinda thought process is_ that? “No? I just kinda discovered I’ve got _powers,_  so I’m more worried about that at the moment.” She shook her head. He made no sense. “Can you just show me how to not accidentally shoot something at someone?”

He sighed dramatically. “I _suppose.”_ Then, he took a few steps back. “Attempt to hit me.”

“With my fist or ice?”

He gave her a flat look. “Ice.”

“Ice, baby.”

Unamusement painted his face. Kate took a deep breath, narrowing her eyes and staring at him. He raised his eyebrows expectantly.

After more than a few moments of slightly-awkward silence of them staring at each other, Kate spoke. “I don’t know what to do.”

He scoffed. “Am I supposed to be surprised?”

She stuck her tongue out at him.

They stared at each other for a few more moments.

“Are you going to ask me what to do?” Loki asked.

Kate gave him a flat look. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Say please.”

“Please?”

“And my title.”

She pursed her lips. _“Really?”_

“You’re the one who needs help.”

 _“You’re_ the one who summoned these ‘untapped power’ for your own _purposes.”_

Loki laughed, almost looking like he had the audacity to be slightly _offended_ by her words. He raised his brow expectantly.

Kate was in no mood for games. “Can you please tell me what to do, Your Highness?”

His smile was vulpine. “Your success in using proper manners tells me you are _teachable._ I don’t believe telling you what to do will be at all useful, but _teaching_ you may. Try again.”

Kate’s jaw rolled to the side, and she closed her eyes for a few moments. “Can you please _teach_ me what to do, Your Highness?”

“Very good.”

She raised her lip at him.

He simply tutted and shook his head. “None of that sass will do, young lady. From now on, I will be having none of it.”

“Yeah right.”

Kate felt the collar reappear. “None of it,” Loki repeated.

She sighed. “Fine.”

“You say that as though you have a choice.”

She barely held back a sneer. “What do I do, _Your Highness?”_ The collar zapped her and Kate yipped in surprise.

As he crossed the room, he spoke. “Darling, I know what sarcasm is.”

“That wasn’t sarcastic.” Another zap.

Loki moved behind her, barely brushing against her back, and leaned down. “I also know what lies are. Now, focus your energy.”

Kate took a deep breath. _Keep your voice monotone, Kate. You can do this._ “How do I do that?” It sounded monotone enough.

“The same way you focus your mind and attempt to block me out. If it is needed, I will siphon some of my power to you.”

Kate’s face screwed up in concentration. Her eyes narrowed and she focused on the wall. Loki quickly whisked his hand and a target appeared on the wall opposite to them. “Try to hit that,” he advised. Kate barely noticed the softness in his voice. Whatever the reason be that it was there, it disappeared when he spoke again. “I’ll be your next target.”

Kate nodded her head. “Why would you need to siphon your power to me?”

He put his hand on her shoulder. “Magic is very draining. I do not know the exact logistics of how yours works—it is much different from my own.”

“How?” She tried to call upon some sort of something.

“Firstly, I am Asgardian, and I was trained from a young age with the magic I always knew I had. Yours has been dormant for quite some time. Secondly, you specify in ice, similar to the Jötnar, yet you are fully human.”

“How’d you know that?”

“In past timelines, you were a liaison to Asgard and S.H.I.E.L.D. and often traveled between them. Odin is not fond of letting little Midgardians into the Realm Eternal, but he was convinced as long as you went through _far_ more tests than necessary.”

 _“Tests?”_ Loki was distracting her. Or, she was distracting herself, because she kept asking him questions.

“Medical, physical, emotional, etcetera, etcetera. You are fully mortal, yet possess the powers of the average Frost Giant. S.H.I.E.L.D., of course, has seen mutants like yourself before, but Odin was wary.”

Kate attempted a fighting stance to try to keep her concentration. “You think he’ll be as wary this time?”

“You will not be a liaison between Asgard and S.H.I.E.L.D., so it is not something to worry about.”

She nodded. It took Kate a moment to realize nothing was happening, no matter how much she concentrated. Even when Loki’s voice quieted and she glared at the opposite wall, nothing happened.

“Am I doing it right?”

“Only you can know that. Do you feel in sort of power?”

“No.”

“Do you feel at all weakened?”

“No.”

Loki rested his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly. Cold seeped into Kate’s veins.

After a few moments, the chilling power was now coursing through her veins. She could feel it rippling like water and goosebumps formed across her skin.

“Focus. Focus on your anger, or grief, or another strong emotion. They better fuel your power than nothing. Concentrate on that feeling, and will it to become something physical.”

Kate focused on her anxiety. It was ever-present, mulling in the shadows and waiting to get her in a moment of calm. Except, she couldn’t _call upon_ her anxiety, that wasn’t how it worked. She blinked, eyes trailing to the floor in thought.

“Concentrate.”

She took a deep breath. Anger would have to do—anger at her anxiety, for taking over so much of her life and haunting her every second of every day.

“Don’t forget to breathe. Focus on the emotion, then let it go in a physical form.”

Kate closed her eyes. “Focus. Breathe. Release.” She repeated it in her head. The cold was still rippling through her from head to toe. She felt it growing more restless, like a boat on the water when the winds picked up.

At first, she wasn’t sure where it came from. The cold seemed to burst straight through her breastbone and out of her skin. Then, when she looked at her hands, she saw the frost crystals growing on her palms. They spread across her body like an infection. Kate wondered why she felt them crawling and tickling like a caterpillar, but not the freezing temperature, or why her body heat wasn’t freezing them.

Kate willed it to cease, willed it to focus at her palms, and it _did._ The cold rushed down her nerves and grew like a spike, shooting out of her palms and through the target’s lower half to land, half protruding from her wall, like a dart.

A smile crept across her face, and she looked up at Loki. “I did it!”

He almost looked proud as he removed his grasp from her shoulder. “Yes, you did. Were I not pouring energy into you, I’m almost certain you would have passed out and missed the target.”

Now that his hand was gone, Kate felt the power fading. The goosebumps were going away, and she could feel the heat springing from her heart and warming again. The feeling was to a point that bordered discomfort. She felt dizzy from the blood rush.

“Why would I’ve passed out?” The blood rush wasn’t going away, so she sat down on her bed.

“You are not adjusted to your abilities, and even a single attack takes quite a bit of energy. I suggest you do what is known as ‘carboloading’ before we train to prevent that.”

“Will that always happen?”

Loki shook his head. “You saw it yourself in my memories. Once you settle into your powers, it will be easier. Exercising more often will help, as well.”

Kate groaned. “I hate exercise.” There was a little zap in her neck, weaker than the more recent shocks.

“Then you will be at a baseline of powerlessness. You can’t even call upon your power without my help.”

She pursed her lips. _Why does he have to be right?_

“Because I’m above you in all ways.” He walked over to the wall, removing the icicle and repairing the surface with ease. “I must be returning to Asgard. I highly suggest you rest.”

Kate felt the collar disappear. “Ok… bye, I guess.”

He let out a little huff of laughter. “Goodbye, Katherine.” When he took a step, he disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hey, I'm alive.  
> Happy Holidays, everyone, and have a gift/possibly more chapter to come in the next few weeks! :)


	13. The Week Without A God of Mischief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: My Freedom, Miracles

SUNDAY, JUNE 10TH 

Today was... *interesting.* Church was normal, singing, a sermon, then I sat in the car for a little while—the usual. Except, Loki (I think he might just be who he says he is), decided to tag along. He put, I’ll be totally honest, a collar on me. Yes, a collar (I’m underlining cause it’s just that dang important).

I pretended to lose my voice—it’s ironic that I was lying to people at church—so I didn’t have to talk or sing to people. I did that because Loki decided it would be hilarious to make the collar shock me whenever I spoke. He showed me more mind tricks today and also thought it would be hilarious to sit on my lap.  
Might I mention how heavy Asgardian/Frost Giants are? Like *dang,* they’re HEAVY. It's probably some sort of cell density thingy that I'm too lazy to think of at the moment. I can't ask him about it either, because he left while I was sleeping like some sort of thief in the night.

Anyway, he sat in my lap and wouldn’t get himself off, even after he actually broke my legs, until I somehow cast a spell or something. Thankfully, he fixed my legs.

Turns out I have powers. I mean, cool cool and all, but then he just ghosted me. He showed me how to use my apparent ice powers, but I can’t do it without him helping me with *his* powers. His magic feels weird, and I’ll leave it at that because the rest of the sentence I was about to write sounded wrong.

I’m still mad he actually killed a dude over me, but my heart rate has stopped spiking when my phone goes off, so that’s good. I don’t think I forgot anything else, so I’ll leave it there.

 

* * *

  

MONDAY, JUNE 11TH 

The countdown until the last day of school is so aggravating. I swear, sophomore-itis is a thing. A couple of my teachers are just letting us chill out as long as we’re quiet while Mr. Machley is doing everything in his power to squeeze the life out our few surviving brain cells.

I had a dream about Loki last night. He was the weird-real Loki from mythology. Which, lemme say, that’s a religious breakdown. I spent most of 3rd period staring out the window at the rain and figuring that out. I won’t go into detail because this journal’s on its last page and I don’t think I have enough space, but long-story-short, internal screaming.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure the dream was the memory he showed me. Except, I was in my point of view. I’m not sure whether that’s dormant memories waking up or something, or just my brain being too uncreative to think of something original—most likely the latter.

Leanna said she’s gonna be coming back from Virginia soon, so we’ll get to hang out with her for a little while before she starts the fall semester. I can’t believe she’s already a junior and she’s got a boyfriend who’s pretty serious, too. I may-or-may-not ship them a little too hard. From what she’s told me, he’s great.

I’m not sure whether or not I’m gonna at least allude to Loki or not in conversation. He said he was gonna be back on Saturday, so I’m half counting the days down, half dreading it. He’s a piece of work and he’s got the upper hand with the stupid collar trick-thingy. Either way, Leanna would be a huge help with figuring out my Norse god problem, but, ya know, *Norse god.* That doesn’t exactly sit in reality.

 

* * *

 

TUESDAY, JUNE 12TH 

Ayyyyy, new journal!

Also, proof Mr. Machley is trying to murder us via stress-induced brain aneurysms: the man gave us an “extra credit” assignment that was an essay, so I had to stay up after I got home from work and do that. I had to stay pretty late at the salon because someone came in late, too, so it’s currently the “wee hours of the morning” now and I’m up on caffeine and stress. While I was working, Max came to me with another nightmare. He hasn’t needed someone to comfort him from a nightmare in months, now twice in less than a week. I’d be a little worried if it wasn’t normal for 8-year-olds.

I’ve been trying to get these powers of my mine to work since Loki left the barrier-thingy up. So far, nothing, so that’s slightly annoying. Jake’s been curling up closer to me, which is nice. Oh, on the topic of powers:

My hair is changing color.

That’s unnerving. I noticed a nice, solid, paper-thin line of my roots growing in  stark white.  I don’t know what I’m going to do with that, probably try to hide it with an enchantment, because I can do Jedi mind tricks without Loki here.

 

* * *

  

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 13TH 

So, I tried to fix my hair.

Long-story-short, it didn’t work, and now all my hair is white.

Loki’s gonna kill me.

I was able to lie my way out of it by saying I’d gotten it done at the salon after my shift (thank the Lord Almighty I worked yesterday) and paid for it out of my paycheck, which I also happened to get that night.

Besides that, today was the second-to-last day of school. Calvin decided he was going to ask me out during 3rd period, so he did. If I didn’t have a God of Mischief most likely watching over my every move and probably planning to claim me as his wife once I turn 18, I’d be chill.

But, ya know, I *do* have a God of Mischief most likely watching over my every move and probably planning to claim me as his wife once I turn 18. Holy crap that’s something to digest.

 

* * *

 

THURSDAY, JUNE 14TH 

Hallelujia, I’m officially a rising junior! I also told Calvin I’m on the fence about going on a date. Hopefully, that’ll be enough to hold the dude off. He gave me his number and told me to text him when I make my decision. Most classes either let us hang out or had a movie on. Mr. Machley had us hand in the essay. He apparently changed his mind and it was a required assignment, and he apparently sent out an email about it (no, he didn’t), so thank God I did it.

School let out early, so I got home before lunch and passed out on the couch for a few hours. Napping is wonderful.

Also, I started working out. Might I say, running a mile is tiring? I’m pretty sure I sweat out most of my body’s water weight—not that I have all that much, I don’t really drink enough water.

Max had another nightmare. At some point, he snuck in my room. I found him curled up with Jake at my feet. Either the kid’s a ninja, or I was just *sound* asleep.

We had the neighbors over for a celebratory dinner, so I got to know the daughter, Sarah, a bit better. She’s really nice, although isn’t everyone when you invite them over for dinner? She really liked my hair and ended up doing a really intricate design that I still have up. It’s like braids, but also twists and she somehow got a few dandelions from outside weaved in. I wonder if Loki sees women with hair like this?

It’s a little longer than before I *enchanted* it, and so far, nobody has noticed the giant chunks of hair in my bedroom trashcan (they’re well-covered by crumpled paper and tissues). I’d imagine it’s about the same length as Asgardian women’s if what survives of Viking culture on the internet is anything to go off of.

 

* * *

  

FRIDAY, JUNE 15TH 

I didn’t really do all that much today. Max and I played more LEGO Star Wars and then I fell asleep with Mars on my chest. I actually wanted to get up, but she was so adorable I couldn’t, so I just fell asleep instead.

Running is getting a little easier. My legs still feel a little weak, but I’ll adjust.

I haven’t tried any magic since my last attempt, which is probably for the best. All I’ve done so far was test my limits on how far I can cast my mind. When sitting out in the backyard, I can feel most of it. Around the fenceline is a little fuzzy, but I can feel all the bugs and little critters in the trees.

They all have varying minds. When I cough, I could feel a primal spike of fear in the birds, but the bees don’t seem to care about my existence. Hopefully, I can get over my fear of them knowing this. I might go to the zoo at some point soon. It would be so cool feeling all the animals around me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anybody else watch those stop-motion Christmas movies from the 70s? This chapter’s title is based on “A Year Without a Santa Clause”


	14. The Routine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Timelapse, Illumina Anthology

The heavy feeling of sleep weighed on her. Kate barely noticed the slight nudge she received.

“Kate,” the voice said. It was silky.

Kate groaned. “Saturday,” she grumbled.

“Well, _I beg your pardon,_ I thought you’d want to see me.”

Kate did her best to crack open her eyes. Above her head lay a lean face with cheekbones like no other. She smiled, desperately dragging herself out of sleep. She lazily raised her arms. “Hug me.”

Leanna laughed, half-picking-up her upper body to allow her sister to hug her.

Kate smiled. “How’s college?”

“Difficult.”

“How’s the significant other?”

Leanna dropped her back on the bed and Kate sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. When she finished the little ritual, Leanna had her hand held out. Kate looked down and saw a ring, pretty and golden with a small diamond in the center. A smile spread across her entire face. She squealed a little. “Congratulations!”

Leanna laughed and smiled. “We were taking a walk around campus one night, and he took me into a gazebo with little lights and proposed, and it was the most romantic thing ever.”

“Have you started planning yet?”

“We’re going to wait until after I graduate to really start the planning so I’ll hopefully have more of a solidified job. James said he wants to marry me, so he put a ring on it in case we ever get in a fight.”

“That’s kinda adorable.”

“I know.”

Kate giggled with her sister, aware of the shadow looming by the closet. She got out of bed, stretched, and expanded her mind. She’d gotten better at it through the week and could not do it while also focusing on something else. _Can training wait?_

She heard Loki sigh in her mind. _Of course._

_Thank you._

Leanna and her went downstairs, Jake not bothering to get up because it was so early. Loki had receeded after their little exchange, and Kate didn’t feel him following her, so she relaxed. “Since you’re apparently a master of romance, could you give me some advice?”

Leanna cooed. “Who’s the boy?”

Kate bit her lip nervously. “He’s a bit older, and we met online—”

Leanna cut her off with a wave of her hand. “He’s a predator.”

Kate set to making breakfast. “No, we’ve video chatted, and I’ve even met his mom briefly. He’s who he says he is.”

“Okay, and?”

“I dunno. I’m just emotion-ing, and I’m not used to something other than numb, and then I met him, and it’s not all numb all the time.”

Her eyebrow rose as she grabbed one of the waffles from the box and ate of frozen. “What kind of emotions?”

Kate gave her a look and began to toast her own waffles. “I can’t tell whether its anxiety or butterflies. They feel the same.”

“Both?”

Kate shrugged.

“How old is he?”

“Eighteen…”

Leanna’s eyes went wide. “Kate, oh my gosh!”

“What?”

“That’s _two years_ older than you!”

“And? How old is James?”

“We’re _adults.”_

Kate gave her sister another look. “Uh-huh.”

A comfortable silence settled over them. “I like your hair.”

Kate smiled, playing with it. “Oh, thanks. I got it done a few days ago at the salon after my shift.” She almost began to believe herself. After a week’s worth of nothing, she could believe it had all been a dream.

 

*          *          *

 

Leanna had gone out for lunch with a few friends from home. Kate ventured back up to her room and shut the door behind her. Jake had left at some point, she noticed, as she closed the curtains and looked around. She could not find the God of Mischief. “Loki?”

Something roughly grabbed her by the back of the head, yanking her by the hair so she was looking up at Loki’s angry face. In his hand, he had a foot-long chunk of hair still tied by a rubber band. About eight inches of it were brown, but the rest was a pure silverish-white.

He spoke through gritted teeth. “What did you do?”

He outright reaction was to hide, run and hide, but she smothered it and met his rage. “I got it done at the salon?” She hadn’t meant to phrase it as a question.

His grip was starting to hurt. “Lies,” he hissed. Loki let go of her head, shoving her so hard she almost fell.

“What the hell, man?!” Kate exclaimed, holding her head where he had grabbed her hair so roughly and praying he hadn’t ripped any of it out. As far as she could tell, her hair was alright.

Loki stormed a few feet, and Kate hoped the barrier was still keeping others from overhearing any of their goings-on. If not, she would have to weave quite the lie. “Did I give you permission to use seiðr without me near?”

Kate scoffed. The fear was gone now, replaced by a temper Kate hoped could match his. “I didn’t know it was a privilege, _Your Highness.”_

He whirled around, his lip twitching. “Yes, _girl,_ it is a _privilege_ to use seiðr. Do you know how few are able to? How few _Asgardians_ are able to, let alone _mortals?_ Do you know what danger you put yourself in?”

Much to her chagrin, Kate shrank away. What had she done? “Apparently _not.”_ He voice dripped venom. “Why don’t you _educate me?”_

Loki took a deep breath. “Were you near any cameras?”

 _He’s worried about_ that? “No, I wasn’t. I made sure to cover them up before I attempted anything.”

“Good.” Kate could practically feel him patting her atop the head. Perhaps he actually _was_ via sending out some sort of ghost hand. “I must keep you safe.”

Kate raised her eyebrows. _“You’re_ the one who made me have powers.”  She didn’t need anyone to ‘keep her safe.’

“You already had them, I merely _awoke_ them.” And just like that, his fury had disappeared. He vexed Kate, just turning emotion on and off like that. “Now, take up a fighting stance.”

“Why?”

“I am going to teach you hand-to-hand combat.”

Kate didn’t know any actual hand-to-hand combat other than what she’d seen while watching _The Karate Kid._ She took a stance, and Loki frowned.

“Pivot your left foot slightly—no, the other way—now, move your right forward slightly; place your left foot back where I told you. Raise your hands a bit and space them out more. A little more—less than _that._ Stop! That’s perfect.”

“It feels more _uncomfortable_ than _perfect.”_

“I suppose you’ll just have to deal with a little discomfort, now, won’t you, little Kitten?”

“We’re starting _that_ again?”

He smiled a sly smile. “Oh, would you like me to call you something else? How about _smár Ketlingr?”_

Kate gave him a look. “Is that just _your_ version of ‘little kitten?’”

She could have sworn she saw him smile genuinely. “You’re getting better at figuring out my native tongue.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “You didn’t _insult_ me, you said a _word,_ then said it in _another language._ That’s easy.”

He scoffed. “Very well. I won’t compliment you.”

Her lip rose. “Am I gonna do anything or just stay like this?”

Loki looked down at her. “Well, while we were talking, you lowered your hands. I could very easily punch you in the nose at the moment.”

“You could do that anyway.”

“I suppose you are correct.”

Kate’s mood had soured due to his outburst. She’d been excited to feel that cold rush ripple through her body, but now all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and not exist for a little while. She’d forgotten just how _terrifying_ he was.

 

*          *          *

 

It took most of the afternoon for Kate to figure out how to channel her emotion. Loki had to lend some of his own anger—she didn’t even _want_ to know how he did that—and she was able to shoot a few icicles into the target.

He had been right; it wasn’t long before he stopped siphoning his power, and Kate was exhausted. She flopped down on her bed and sighed. Sweat moistened her back, and she almost wanted to take her shirt off—just let the cool air conditioning be on her skin. He, in comparison, looked completely unhindered.

“Hey, Loki?”

“Yes, mortal?”

She blinked and stared absent-mindedly at the ceiling. “You tried to take over the world, right?”

“Yes, mortal.”

“So, why aren’t you in prison?”

Kate heard him sigh. “Must I remind you I am called silvertongue?”

“Apparently.”

A content silence fell over them. Kate’s eyelids felt heavy. “Are we going train tomorrow, too?”

“I don’t see as to why not.”

She hummed and rolled to her side. “Why are you so angry?”

“Rest. I will be here when you awaken.”

“Can’t you answer my questions?”

He shushed her and patted her head. Sleep was inescapable, and before Kate could even speak another word, she succumbed to the spell Loki had cast.

 

*          *          *

 

Sunday was the same, except for that Loki was in his Marvel form. Kate woke up, she ate breakfast and spent the morning with her Dad and siblings because it was Father’s Day, then the afternoon was spent up in her room with the God of Mischief.

“Why aren’t you imprisoned?” He still hadn’t answered her question, no matter how much she badgered him.

“Concentrate your anger.”

“Why aren’t you imprisoned?”

“Don’t let your stance slacken.”

“Why aren’t you imprisoned?”

He looked slightly ticked-off. “Must you be so _incessant?”_

“Yes.”

He groaned. “If I answer you, will you stop asking questions?”

“Maybe.”

He gave her a look but sighed in resignation. “I have been given a… _reprieve,_ of sorts. The Allfather and his courts are trying to figure out what _to do with me._ If I wasn’t who I was, perhaps I might already have a sentence, but I simply bide my time at the moment.”

“So, they just, like, _let_ you walk around on the planet you tried to take over?”

He laughed. “Oh, no, darling. I _sneak away._ That is why I can only stay for a few days at a time.”

“Why haven’t they decided yet? Wasn’t that like twenty-twelve or something?”

He shrugged. “Five years is not long to the gods. I’m kept on a tight leash for now, but I am certain I can persuade Mother to shorten my sentence.”

Kate nodded her head in thought. “Can you stay until tomorrow? I don’t have any school since it’s summer and I’m not working until Tuesday, so we could hypothetically smoosh in some training time.”

Apparently, her speech was funny. “Perhaps. Now, concentrate.”

She did as she was told, focusing the energy jittering through her. She’d carbo-loaded about a half-hour ago so now she was really feeling the cold as it bounced through her like microscopic waves of sound.

 

*          *          *

 

Kate woke up in a cold sweat. Jake was at her feet, and Mars wasn’t in the room. She carefully got up, pacing the room back and forth and focusing on her breath. Her legs trembled, so she sat down and began to rock.

Loki’s shadow appeared from somewhere, and he came nearer to her. “Are you experiencing anxiety?”

She wanted to spit out some sharp retort (it was quite obvious what was going on), but she could only manage a weak “yes.”

Loki sat down beside Kate, staying as far away from Jake as possible and awkwardly wrapping his arm around her. She accepted the comfort and leaned her head against his shoulder.

Kate knew she’d regret it in the morning, but at the moment, she let herself be weak and closed her eyes. She breathed in his scent and let herself be, even if just for a little while.

 

*          *          *

 

Loki stayed until Monday evening. When Kate went running in the morning, he followed her as a bird, flittering from branch to branch in the trees as he followed her and Jake. She traversed all three cul-de-sacs, much to Jake’s dismay, and collapsed on the couch when he got home. _You’re getting stronger,_ Loki commented as he turned into something akin to a ghost.

Kate knew she was the only one who could see him. _Thanks. I try._ She chugged some water while Jake lapped at the water bowl. She could feel herself weakening from the training and desperately needed a break.

She wished she hadn’t asked him to stay.

After her run and a bit of mental training, he recognized her fatigue. He nodded to her, whisking himself off to what she assumed was Asgard.

 

*          *          *

 

The week went on and Kate started a little project with Jake. Now that he was getting into a shape that wasn’t tubular, Kate wanted to play with him more often. He wanted to play more often, as well, she noticed.

She worked on the little wooden jumps and hoops in the evening, her dad helping her cut the wood and sand it down until it was smooth. Amidst Loki’s comings-and-goings, they worked on the project and had it finished in just a week and a half.

Kate brought out the little set and placed it in the yard. In her hand was a baggie of kibble and at her side was her dog. It took a few million times for him to get it, but by the next Saturday, she had something to show to Loki.

 

*          *          *

 

Saturday morning she woke bright and early. Well, _bright_ was an overstatement. Loki nudged her awake before the sun had even fully risen.

“What?” she grumbled.

He chuckled softly in her ear. She knew he was trying to make chills run down her spine, and it was _working._

“On Asgard, you liked to watch the sun rise. I thought I might grant you that pleasure.”

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and blinked up at him. “You woke me up for the _sunrise?”_

He stood to his full height, walking over to the curtains and opening them. “Who knows when you may get to see one again?”

“Tomorrow? You know, _when the sun rises again?”_

“Would you like to wake you then, as well?”

“No thanks,” begrudgingly, she pulled herself out of bed. She didn’t want to get up, but Loki had gone through the trouble of waking her up, so she was going to get up for him and watch the sun rise.

It was beginning to get hotter every day, and Kate had worn an old t-shirt to bed. It covered what needed to be covered, but just barely, and she wasn’t wearing pants underneath. Loki looked away until she had a pair of shorts on.

He cast an illusion over himself and followed her out of her room, walking down the stairs and outside. Kate sat down on the driveway and looked eastward. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon, and her view was blocked by trees, so all she could see what the purplish sky bleeding into the darkness.

“Can other people see you?”

“No, being the only one will just have to suffice.”

She laughed. Loki was already worming his way into her routine, and, after a mere two weeks and a day, he felt _normal._ Well, maybe not normal, but _normal enough._

Kate smiled to herself. _Friend,_ she thought. I was a rather incomplete notion, but it was enough for her.

 

*          *          *

 

She stood out in the yard, whistling at Jake until he jumped over the jump. It wasn’t at all high—it couldn’t be since he was a corgi—but he acted as though it was a struggle. Kate whistled again, and he hopped over the second jump. He easily went through the double set of hoops, then followed the little trail of kibble through the tunnel she’d bought at a yard sale.

Loki looked genuinely impressed she’d trained the beast to do something upon command.

 

*          *          *

 

He left Sunday evening, and Kate spent the week lounging around, mainly. She’d wake up, eat breakfast, go for a run, rest, maybe try some magic that wouldn’t drastically affect anything so Loki wouldn’t notice, then relax.

Leanna flew back to Virginia. The fall semester hadn’t started yet, but she had to go back for work and to be with James. Kate had already set to teasing her sister about their puppy love.

Max’s nightmares ceased, so Kate was sleeping a little better. Her dreams were now filled with the adventures Loki told her about.

He told her about Asgard’s golden palace and the rainbow bridge and the sweeping forests. Of course, she knew what they looked like from movies, but only to an extent. He told her of the halls and secrets and of the paintings she could only imagine.

He told her of the Nine Realms and the politics of each of them—the Jötnar were the most interesting since they were one of the only realms other than Midgard to have factions of people.

But, this dream was… _different._ She didn’t know what _the_ act looked like, only knew how it worked mechanically, but she felt her mind very, _very_ heavily implying what was going on.

When Kate was finally able to pull herself out of the dream, she was blushing profusely. It took her a moment to realize her own hand was stuffed between her thighs.

She peeled her palm away from her underwear— _of course,_ she hadn’t worn at least _shorts_ to bed that night—and stood up. It was far from being light out and the house was silent. She went into the bathroom, running the water and washing her hands overly-thoroughly before rinsing off her heated face. When she stood, she almost expected Loki to be standing behind her and startled when the mental image she’d created didn’t match reality.

“What the actual heck,” she muttered to herself and went to bed.

 

*          *          *

 

It took her all week to forget the dream and having Loki return on Saturday certainly didn’t help.

Even when he wasn’t there, she could call upon her cold now. A few icicles still drained her of any and all energy, but she could summon it if need be.

Loki seemed to pick up on her change in behavior, no matter how well Kate thought she was hiding it. “Are you alright, Ketlingr?” He hadn’t stopped calling her that since the first time.

“Yeah, just jumpy.” She hoped it would be enough.

“And why is that?”

“Movie.”

 _“Really?”_ He sounded _far_ too intrigued. “What kind of movie?”

“A scary movie.”

He tisked. “Darling, you know you can’t watch those; you have panic attacks for weeks afterward.”

“I get those anyway.” Kate sat down on her bed and threw her head between her legs, collecting her hair into a generalized bundle and tying it up. Her roots should have started growing back in by now, so she planned on asking Loki if he could show her how to cast some sort of illusion.

Once her head was back upright, he reached down and fixed a few of the fly-aways. He even retrieved a bobby-pin from her dresser and pinned them down, all without her even asking him to.

 _Alright then,_ she thought. “Is there some sort of spell we could cast that would make it look like I have brown roots?”

Loki cocked his head. “There is, but you wouldn’t have the strength, and I’m not wasting my seiðr on such a trifle.”

“If it’s such a  _trifle,_ it shouldn’t cost you too much, right?”

“Casting enchantments across realms is surprisingly tiresome, girl.”

She raised her lip at him. Thankfully, he hadn’t felt the need to collar her as of recent.

 

*          *          *

 

Sunday came and went as always, as well as the rest of the week. On Saturday morning, Kate awoke to find Loki nowhere. She casually looked around the house, but he was nowhere to be found. She raised her eyebrow and decided to treat the day as she normally would. _Perhaps he is simply late?_

After her run, she showered, and the God of Mischief still had not shown up. Kate settled down to sketch out of boredom when he suddenly opened the door to her bedroom and strolled in as if it were normal.

“I was wondering where you were—on another adventure?” Loki’s gaze was somber and Kate’s relatively-happy mood deflated instantly. “What’s wrong?”

“I must tell you something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a cliffhanger :)


	15. The Whole Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Blizzard, SkyWorld

“I must tell you something.”

Kate looked worried. Damn her grey eyes. Damn her grey eyes straight to Hel.

“What is it?” She looked worried—no, _scared,_ as she stood up.

Loki opened his mouth. He knew she wouldn’t have worked with him if he told her right away. He’d told her before, and it resulted in her killing herself. No, _him_ killing her, even if he hadn’t made her jump off the bridge that night. “It is about S.H.I.E.L.D..”

“Is something wrong?”

“Not in the way you are probably thinking.” Loki didn’t know how to say it. He’d said it before, and it had made her commit suicide. Knowing it was a heavy burden, a burden of not only responsibility but also one that he knew would hurt her beyond repair. “It’s important, and you need to know it if we are to continue on.”

“Oh… okay.”

 _Norns,_ he didn’t want to do this. All he wanted to was to lay beside her on their bed back in Asgard as they had before. He particularly liked it when she thought he was asleep and would reach up and touch his face, trailing her finger along the skin and bones in exploration. There was something… _curious_ about her when she did that, not childish, but _inquisitive._

He could trust her, he always could, but she couldn’t trust him, and Loki knew she wouldn’t after he told her. “Perhaps you should sit down.” He began to move forward whether she wanted him to or not.

“Why?” Kate caught herself when he grabbed her by the upper arms and sat down on her bed. “Is it really that bad?”

“Yes.” Loki crouched down so he was on-level with her, even slightly _lower_ than her.

Her worry only increased. He could see it from her posture—how her arms twitched the slightest bit, and her shoulders naturally rose to be held higher. Her face turned from concern to determination, but he could see the anxiety in her gaze. “I can take it.”

He doubted her. He knew what she would do; she would either shut him out and pretend to be unaffected or act as though he’d never said anything and not digest the information. Whichever was the outcome, it was bad.

Loki mentally took a deep breath. “S.H.I.E.L.D. isn’t exactly what I told you it was.”

She cocked her head the slightest bit like her little companion did when asked if he wanted a treat. “I don’t understand.”

He sighed. How was he supposed to put it into words? No amount of silvertongue could help him now; he’d wormed his way in and out of thousands of situations, but when he needed it most, it was gone. He’d trade those thousands of consequences for just a bit of help on how to break it to her. “I’m not who you think I am.” He shed the glamour and revealed himself. He didn’t exactly like that appearance, but it was how the ancient Norseman had pictured him, so it was how he’d shown himself to Kate.

He stood and paced the small room. “This is who I truly am.” He couldn’t meet her gaze. He couldn’t watch her die inside again. He’d done it too many times. She’d hide it with a smile just like the rest of the ill adolescents on Midgard.

Kate scoffed and rolled her eyes. _“Yeah, right._ You just _happen_ to look exactly like a Midgardian celebrity.” Her hands sat in her lap, picking her nails.

Loki stopped. He looked at her chin. It was close to her eyes, but far enough away that he didn’t have to see them fade. “No, Kate, I _am_ him.”

She smirked. “Well played, Loki, well played.” Her whole demeanor relaxed, and she casually leaned against her headboard. “You actually had me there for a second.”

He swallowed and closed his eyes. “I know my reputation, but I am telling you the truth.”

When he opened his eyes, her face had fallen. She sat up straight and put her bare feet on the floor. “What?” She shook her head. “Now I’m confused.”

“Now I’m confused.”

“I know it’s hard to explain—”

“Well, you better start  _ right now.” _

He could already feel her growing turmoil. “I am… supposed to be _off-the-radar._ S.H.I.E.L.D. is working on taking Asgardians out of the main view of the, as you call it, franchise, in order to stop from having to travel between realms for needed filming.”

Her own gaze fell to the floor. She blinked far more times than necessary. “So why are you here?”

He paced some more and opted not to answer her question. “After you were captured, your memory was wiped, and you became S.H.I.E.L.D.’s liaison between Midgard and Asgard. For the ease of the Asgardian people, we were married.”

She simply repeated what she’d said before. “Why are you here?”

He couldn’t possibly look at her, so he kept his head down. “I want you to remember who you truly are.”

“Then why’d you make me have powers?”

He noticed how calm she sounded—as if he wasn’t about to rent apart her entire reality—and he paced faster. “This is a controlled environment. I can train you to keep your abilities restricted unless use is necessary.”

She swallowed. “So… you lied to me?”

He stopped in front of her, crouching down again and taking her hands.

She pulled them away, and he let them slip from his grasp. “Yes, but I had to, otherwise—”

Her gaze snapped to him. “Look me in the eyes.”

He couldn’t.

“Look me in the eyes, and tell me you lied, Loki.” Her voice dripped venom.

She knew he could not look her in the eyes and lie.

Slowly, his gaze met hers. He’d expected rage, but he found instead a _begging_ sort of hope. His heart—wherever it had come from—twisted in pain. It had not been venom on her tongue, but _hope._

His lips created the words, but Loki did not understand what he was saying.

Then, there it was, the unadulterated _fury,_ as hope shattered into tears. “I trusted you.”

He spoke with a tongue of lead. “I know.”

 

* * *

 

 

Why was she _crying?_ He was the God of _Lies,_ she should have expected it. And Kate was even beginning to _miss_ him when he was gone. _Dumbass,_ she scolded herself.

“Please, leave.” She’d meant to say it harshly, but her voice cracked, and she sounded more hurt than anything else.

“I will come back next week.” His hand reached up for a moment, almost as if to brush away the tears that were just about to fall down her cheek, but he hesitated and pulled back. He stood and walked out of her line of vision. When Kate picked her head up, he was gone.

She threw herself down on her pillow and let out a little sob. _God,_ she was supposed to be an _emotionless rock._ She felt the same ache in her chest as she had when she’d seen herself die in Loki’s memories and it _hurt._

She curled up. She didn’t know what to do with herself. What was she supposed to do? Nobody had betrayed her like that.

 _Nobody except Micheal,_ her unhelpful inner voice reminded.

Kate almost considered contacting him in spite of Loki, and it took her a moment to remember the predator was dead. She stood and hurled her pillow across the room in frustration. It deftly hit the wall and the light green barrier, still in place, glowed slightly.

Maybe she could overexert herself using her magic, and just _die._ That sounded nice. Heaven didn’t have any betrayers, did it?

There was some sort of twisted satisfaction at the idea of her death making Loki start his quest over again and, not being in her right mind, she opted to satisfy the urge.

Kate took a deep breath and focused, just like Loki had told her to. It was much easier to call upon her powers when she was experiencing such intense rage and, she realized belatedly, _grief_ as well. She hadn’t known she was partially mourning the brother and kitten she’d never known.

The sound barrier was still up, so Kate screamed, releasing the most powerful blast she could manage. It left her palm with enough force to jettison her back into her desk. She hit her head against the wall rather hard; hard enough for her vision to shutter briefly, but not hard enough to knock her out.

The side of the room she’d fired at was now covered in a clear sheet of ice. It was almost like the way the world looked after getting blanketed with heavy snow, it melted a bit in the hot sun rays, then froze overnight to create a layer of slippery ice.

Kate stood, ignoring the throbbing in her head, and fired another blast. This one was noticeably weaker and her knees buckled under her own weight. She wiped away the tears on her cheeks and shivered in the sudden cold. The chilling ripple, which had been a stormy sea before, was now a trickling creek. As she cleared her eyes of the blur, Kate realized her fingers were blue.

They did not feel cold, or at least, not _that_ cold.

She summoned the last of her strength and disregarded the blood dripping from her nose to her chapped lips. When had it become so _dry?_ Kate realized she was panting quite heavily, but it was just another thing she ignored as she let the last of her energy creep into her fingers. She watched the frost form over her palm, light-headed as she made a tower of slush. She barely felt her half-numb body hit the floor as her eyes rolled back.

Her tower had been pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, maybe not too much of a cliffhanger... I'm so excited for what's to come!!


	16. Greige | Lamé

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Hot Cargo, Illumina Anthology

_Status: Active_

* * *

 

When Kate awoke, the world was rumbling.

It took her a few moments to open her eyes, but once she did, there wasn’t all that much of a difference. Wherever she was was dark, and she felt the world lean to the right.

It took her a moment to recall what had happened before she’d gone to sleep. When she did remember, a sinking feeling hit her, and she could _feel_ the color drain from her face.

She was almost willing to call out to Loki—or at least whisper to him because she wasn’t sure she had the strength to speak. _He lied to me, not just a white lie, a big lie,_ she thought, and some resolve welled up within her. She would figure this out on her own. She didn’t need him to protect her.

It wasn’t too long before she succumbed to sleep again. Her muscles ached, and she felt too weak to even think.

 

*          *          *

 

When she next woke up, she was still in the dark space. It wasn’t moving now, and when Kate expanded her mind, she felt no beings inside what she identified as a van. She tried to lift her arm. She was strong enough now, but she found something cold restraining her.

She was far too weak to call upon her powers, and just expanding her mind had severely weakened her.

Something behind her opened, and light flooded the little room. She squinted in a desperate attempt to see out, her head awkwardly turning to see outside.

“Well, looks like someone’s awake.” A man climbed in, and the van swayed slightly. Another man joined him.

Kate groaned. “Where am I?”

The first man—or maybe it was the second—shushed her, almost sweetly. “We can worry about it later.”

A third entered. Kate heard him doing something, but she didn’t have the strength to turn her head.

The first man lightly caressed her cheek, clearing her hair out of the way. “Sleep.”

Kate felt a little prick in her neck, and she felt the heaviness in her eyes and her body. It wasn’t even a minute before she drifted off.

 

*          *          *

 

She felt sick to her stomach, a side-effect of withdrawal. Kate opened her eyes, but the light made her head hurt. Her only solution was to shut her eyes again, and she quickly drifted off.

 

* * *

 

Loki had been counting down the days until he could return to Midgard. He’d never felt the pressure of time—the impatience for such a short period to end—like he did now. If she was still angry, he could always quell her with seiðr, but he wanted her to trust him. Using his magic on her was the _last_ way to do so.

He was sparing with a soldier when a servant walked up, bowing to him. “Your Highness, the Allfather requests your presence in the Great Hall immediately.”

“Has he said why?” he asked as if he didn’t already know.

“No, Your Highness.”

Loki nodded his head. “Very well.” He waved the boy off, leaving the training area to head for the Great Hall.

Of course, he’d never enjoyed working with the mortals—all the _rules_ and _regulations_ and will to keep _every little thing alive_ —but it was an excuse to be on Midgard, so he sat through it with an unapologetically-sarcastic smile. He would slip away to see Kate whenever possible, though he could never stay long.

Loki arrived in the Great Hall shortly after, looking up at the Allfather expectantly. “You called for me, Father?”

At his side was Mother. She looked solemn but satisfied.

“Your mother and I have decided upon your punishment. You should thank her—my original ruling was much harsher.”

Loki bowed his head briefly. “Thank you, Mother.”

Odin seemed content with his use of manners. “You are to live on Midgard—”

His face screwed up. That part was new, probably a jab from Thor that the Allfather had taken seriously.

“—and work with S.H.I.E.L.D. _compliantly_ for ten years.”

Mother cut in. “Five.”

“Eight.”

“Three.”

“Five.”

_“Three.”_

Odin sighed. _“Three_ years. Until that time ends, you are exiled, and no longer considered a Prince of Asgard.” That part was new, as well. “If you are seen in the Land Eternal, you will be thrown in the dungeons and left there. Thor will be checking in on your progress, and if he tells me of any resistance or _mischief,_ the title ‘Your Highness’ will never grace your ears again.” The last sentence held a little more venom than those previous.

What had Loki done that angered Thor _so_ greatly? “When does this begin?”

“Tomorrow. Your Mother insisted upon allowing you goodbyes.”

He thanked his mother again. Although he would never admit it, sometimes he didn't know what he would do without her.

 

* * *

 

When Kate next awoke, she was able to open her eyes for more than a millisecond. The first thing she sensed was her wrists, manacled with _golden_ manacles to long black chains, although she couldn’t tell how far they stretched.

The second thing she noticed was the same manacles on her ankles, her feet bare, as well as a giant collar around her neck. She could only assume it was gold as well.

The third thing she noticed was the little pill sitting on the table in front of her. There was a cup of water beside it. Kate blinked. Beside the cup and pill, there was a note.

She had enough strength to lift her hand and dragged the heavy chains with it. She picked up the note.

_This will help. -Coulson_

Kate rolled her eyes, quickly shutting them again and letting herself sag in defeat.

 

*          *          *

 

Kate opened her eyes again. Her stomach was tying knots of hunger so tight it hurt.

There was a man in front of her. It was one of the ones who had brought her here, wherever _here_ was. He had the little pill in his palm, the cup of water in his other hand.

“Take it.”

She cleared her throat. “What is it?”

“Energy—currently, what you need.”

Kate lifted her hand. Her wrists felt cold, and her hands were half-numb.

She didn’t know much about probably-illegal imprisonment, but she _did_ know she needed to humanize herself to hopefully create some sort of pity. “How long have you been watching me?” She took the pill and cup from his hands but decided she would not do anything with them until he answered her question.

He raised his eyebrow. “That’s classified.”

She fiddled with the capsule. “But I _have_ to leave a footprint across the internet—it’s not like I search everything through an internet browser that constantly changes its i.p. address. And I know the microphone is always listening and the camera’s always watching. So, how long have you guys been watching?”

“Do you know who we are?” As he shifted, she glanced at the nametag on his uniform. _Snyder._

“The government, one way or another. You’ve got an American accent, so I’d say the American government. Otherwise, they’d be sending in teams to rescue their _poor little helpless citizen.”_ Sarcasm probably wasn’t going to help, Kate realized belatedly. _Too late._

He didn’t respond.

“Did you know about Micheal?”

He hesitated but, in the end, answered her question. “Yes.”

She kept her tone as innocent and unemotional as possible. “Then why didn’t you stop him?”

The man thought for a moment. “There are things you don’t understand, kid, forces at play that we’ve gotta roll with.”

 _What a cruddy government official,_ Kate thought, and inwardly smiled. She did her best to ignore the hurt that twisted in her heart, the betrayal from a branch of government she didn’t even know actually _existed_ up until just a month ago. “I’m not a child.”

There was a loud beep, and Snyder looked up. He began to walk around the table. “Take the pill; it’ll help.”

Kate blinked. She tried to turn her head to follow him, but the heavy metal collar prevented her from doing so. She blinked slowly, and put it in her mouth, swallowing it with a small sip.

The water cooled her entire throat, and her stomach thanked her for digestible content.

She only then realized just how badly she had to pee. Kate finished the water, her hand shaking from lack of strength, and took a few moments to actually look at her surroundings.

She ended up having to turn her entire body in order to see anything, and she saw the chains were fastened to something in the far corner of the room. It looked like they could retract.

There was a small cot, the table and chair, and in the corner directly left of the door was a toilet. The only thing keeping her from being completely exposed to the camera above the doorway was a divider, made of the same thing she saw in schools and public restrooms. Beside it was a sink, a mirror hanging above it.

Kate stood from the chair. Her legs shook, and she was only able to stumble forward a few steps before they gave out.

She realized then that she was in different clothes, a baggy jumpsuit she imagined inmates would wear, except her’s was a dull

instead of the classic bright orange.

On the left side of her chest was S.H.I.E.L.D.’s iconic emblem. _So much for secrecy,_ she thought.

She pretended to look confused, but forgot about it soon enough and made her way over to the sink. She was barely able to pull herself up and leaned most of her weight on the porcelain for support. Along her nose, lips, chin, and smeared across her cheeks was dry blood. When she rubbed her nose, any evidence of a breach in the skin was gone— _healed,_ she realized. Her hair was oily. _So I’ve been here a few days._

The bar of soap was tempting—her entire body felt dirty—but she knew it could wait. Her bladder, on the other hand, probably couldn’t for much longer. She made her way over, having to rest on the cold seat for much longer than she would have liked before she pulled herself up and washed her hands and face. It took far more effort than she would have liked to simply stand up without help, but Kate managed and made her way over to the cot afterward.

She flopped down, her body aching all over, and promptly fell asleep.

 

*          *          *

 

When she awoke, much more alive and energized than she ever expected to feel again, there was another pill and cup of water waiting for her. When she stood, her muscles didn’t hurt.

It was slightly annoying to drag the chains across the freezing tile floor, but it was more of a nuisance than anything else.

There was another note. _We’ll talk in a few days, don’t ask the guards questions. A pill every meal and a shower every day at noon. -Coulson_

Kate took the new pill awaiting her. Coulson had been right; it _did_ help her.

As if on some sort of cue, there was a beep, the same she had heard when the guy—her _guard,_ apparently—had left, and two people walked inside her room. Both of them had been in the van with her, but the third man was nowhere to be seen. “We’re going to take you to the showers.”

One of them held a fancy set of chains made of gold, blue tech glowing in the subtle cracks. _Asgardian,_ Kate realized. She recognized it from Loki’s memories.

The door shut behind the men and they removed her chains somehow, attaching the gold ones so her hands, feet, and collar were manacled together. She could not run.

They stood on either side of her, leading her out of the room once the door opened again.

She did her best to memorize the way they went. It was some sort of facility, from what she could see, with basic cinder block walls that left the entire place feeling cold.

“Where are we?” she asked.

Neither of the guards replied, and they turned left. A few people passing by—they all had the S.H.I.E.L.D. emblem and nametags on their jumpsuits—gave them looks, but they went otherwise undisturbed.

After another left and a right, they reached a door labeled ‘showers.’

 _Then it’s noon,_ Kate thought. She obviously hadn’t seen the sun as of recent, and her body clock was beginning to get out-of-whack.

One of the guards—his name was Jones—stayed at the door and Snyder opened the door, gesturing for her to enter. She did so, and he followed behind her. He led her through the steamy room and to the corner stall, where he took her chains off and shut the door (thankfully an actual _door,_ rather than a stall) behind her. She noticed there was no lock.

In front of her, there was a shower, with a curtain acting as a barricade between the changing room and actual shower area. She could hear other people showering not far away, but this particular stall did not appear to have been used as of recent.

On the bench lay a new set of clothes—underwear and deodorant included—and a towel and washcloth. On a small shelf in the shower was a bar of soap, razor, and little containers of shampoo and conditioner.

Kate did her best to ignore the little patch of some sort of bacteria growing in a crack in the grout. She set to undressing herself, although having to go around the shackles and collar was annoying, but she managed.

When she looked in the mirror, she saw the collar was, as she expected, gold as well. She inspected it, but couldn’t find any sort of welding point, let alone a way out. Kate sighed and inspected herself absent-mindedly. The note hadn’t alluded to her ever leaving the room, so she might as well spend as much time out of it as possible.

As if he could read her mind, Snyder spoke through the door. “By the way, you only get a half-hour in here.”

“What if I don’t get out?”

“Then I will forcefully take you out, dress you, and return you. I will knock you out if need be.”

Kate didn’t bother replying and stepped into the shower.

Her first thought was to simply cut herself with the razor and bleed to death. _Let them think I’m settled,_ she thought, _then strike when they don’t expect it._ It was a good idea.

Loki probably wouldn’t expect it, either.

Kate caught herself and rolled her eyes. She decided to hold onto the feeling of twisted satisfaction she felt at the idea of him eventually realizing she wasn’t coming out; perhaps he would hear from Thor of a S.H.I.E.L.D. prisoner meant to be _someone_ committing suicide and realize he would have to start all over again. The thought made her smile as she let the hot water run over her body.

She took the time to let the water run over her skin, scraping her nails up her arm to see how much grime had collected. There was enough to make the stuff beneath her nails appear discolored, so she set to washing her hair immdiately—she could think later.

 

* * *

 

Loki was told everything would be provided by _Tony Stark himself,_ so he wasn’t allowed to bring anything with him. Of course, he still managed to smuggle a few items, the most important being the lock of hair he’d kept.

Strange, yes (Kate would most certainly think so), but she hadn’t mentioned it since he’d pulled it out of her trashcan, so Loki knew he was in the clear. He hadn’t taken the whole _chunk,_ of course, just a small lock the width of her tiny pinky finger. He’d braided it to keep it from thinning. He would have to wait until she was _enraptured_ by his very presence to even consider showing her the little oddities he’d kept over the different timelines, but he didn’t mind.

With the braid in a pocket he’d hidden with magic, Loki went to Midgard with Thor.

Heimdall’s aim was as precise as always, and they landed in an area that was very clearly designated, due to the number of mortals with weapons pointed directly at him.

“What a warm welcome,” Loki commented.

Thor was quick to reply. “It wasn’t as though the last time you were here things went so _well.”_

Coulson held up his hand, walking up to the gods in front of him as though they were common _mortals_ like himself. Loki inwardly sneered. The _audacity_ of mortal pride had always annoyed him, and the only exception was his mortal. “Your Highnesses.”

Thor laughed. “Your _Highness,”_ he corrected. “My dear brother has been _demoted.”_

Loki desperately wanted to stab him.

Coulson raised his eyebrows slightly, but remained otherwise indifferent. “I’m certain you already know the terms of our agreement?”

His smile was paper-thin. “That I do. The Allfather made sure to be thorough, although I’m certain you will _remind_ me of them anyway.”

Coulson smiled. “Of course.” He turned, beginning to walk forward.

Thor began to follow, and Loki rolled his eyes, begrudgingly following as well. Had Thor truly submitted to such a _sublime_ race?

He could feel the weapons still trained on his back as he walked through a door. Coulson began to rattle on about his _job_ as an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.—what was expected of him and what he was to do on a daily basis. Loki preferred the freedom of godhood.

“—After the first few months, we’ll let you go on off-base missions. You’re going to have to go through a check with the council and Fury before any of that happens, though. Stark’s giving you a month to settle into your apartment. I think you’ll find that’s plenty of time.”

“Apartment?” He had expected a cot in a small room, rather than a full suite to himself. Perhaps the mortals _did_ know who they were dealing with.

“You’ll have a kitchen and living space, as well as a bedroom and ensuite bath. Stark says it’ll be small compared to what you’re used to, but you’ll be able to sustain yourself fine.”

So, he was to be treated not as a _prince,_ but rather a _peasant._ It had been too good to be true, of course, as most things in his life were. Loki knew it was best to grin and bear it. If he was complicit, he was more likely to be able to slip away unnoticed.

Thor clapped him on the shoulder. “Look on the bright side, brother, you have more to your name than I on this little planet.”

Loki sneered. They went into an elevator and Coulson continued his rambling. Loki drowned it out, staring at the buttons instead. Briefly, he wondered what they would do if he opted to press every single one of them.

That would most likely result in _the title ‘Your Highness’ never gracing his ears again,_ so he refrained from acting on the impulse.

Impulse had always been more of Thor’s way of life, anyway.

The elevator stopped before their destination. A woman was waiting in front of the doors as they opened; she briefly halted in surprise, but ultimately entered the elevator with her eyes downcast.

“What floor?”

“Fifteenth, sir.”

Coulson nodded his head with a smile and Loki rolled his eyes. Thor smiled as well, and the woman did her best to make herself small in the corner behind him. Loki laughed to himself; at least _she_ was afraid of him. _Wise girl._

If he ever decided to wreak havoc upon this facility, he would perhaps not kill her, or mame her in the very least. Well, if he actually _recognized_ her, that is; she was not particularly striking. In fact, she looked _average_ in every way—not overly tall or short, thick or thin, pretty or hideous. The most striking thing about her was her hair color; he believed mortals would describe it as ‘irish red.’ Although, compared to Kate, her hair was still _average._

Loki saw a blush cover her cheeks at his glances and he decided a bit of _silent_ mischief couldn’t possibly get him in trouble. He sent a little spark of magic towards her, just a _small_ image that was planted in her thoughts.

Her blushing only increased, and she shifted nervously. Loki smirked, making sure she saw it and knew what he had done. She looked too timid to report him to any sort of _‘higher-ups’_ — not that there was much to report, or that anyone would _believe_ her.

She left quite quickly, and once they were alone again, Coulson continued his explanation. It was practically dull enough to make him fall asleep, and the halting of the elevator finally stopped it. “You get the penthouse all to yourself,” Coulson added finally, and showed them out.

There was a short hallway, then a door that had to be opened via keycard. Loki assumed he would not be given one of those. The suite was white— _sterile_ —and the only decoration was a framed picture. After a bit of staring, he recognized it as the decimation of Manhattan. He smiled.

“Courtesy of Fury,” Coulson commented. “As a reminder of a time past, and a hopefully-better future.”

Loki rolled his eyes.

The mortal clapped his hands. “Well, that should be about it for the day. I’ll allow you to take a look around and figure everything out. If you need anything, just press the button beside the door.” With that, he and Thor left.

The cupboards were generously filled, surprisingly, (at least they knew how to feed a god), and there was a remote just begging to be explored. Loki picked it up and leaned back against the counter to examine it.

The buttons were set into little sections, small labels indicating what they would effect. There was a single button for the windows—the view was nice, although he liked the comfort of the dark and opted to dim them—but the other sections had multiple buttons. There was control for the living room, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, television, heating/AC, and general lighting. After walking through each room and seeing just what every button did, he was satisfied.

 

* * *

  

After a few hours of staring at the ceiling and thinking, the door opened. Snyder brought in her third pill, getting a cup from the little plastic dispenser she’d seen on portable water fountains which sat beside the sink and filling it with water.

He left the pill and cup on the main table. Kate’s stomach hurt. “Coulson mentioned meals in his note. Will I get meals?”

Snyder left without answering her and Kate pursed her lips.

She stood, looking at the pill. She didn’t feel a particularly strong need for energy, and her body clock—if it was actually _working properly_ —told her it was around dinner time. Kate sighed and took the pill. She was going to throw it in the little trash chute she’d discovered behind the toilet, but hesitated. _In case I ever want it,_ she decided, and pulled another cup out of the dispenser. She put it on the floor beneath the sink, dropping the pill inside and drinking the water.

Kate sighed and stared at the cup and her barren walls. In movies, prisoners always scratched tally marks along their walls to count the days, but she didn’t have a writing utensil, nor would these walls work.

She looked at the cup again and cocked her head when an idea popped into her head. She bit the plastic along the rim, weakening it with her canines before grabbing it with her molars and tearing.

The plastic came apart, and she kept tearing until she got a decent sized chunk off of the cup. She threw the rest down the trash chute and licked her lips. The least painful place to draw blood would probably be her mouth, but she didn’t think she could get enough blood to make a satisfactory tally mark. Kate dug her nail into her middle finger and watched the tip turn white as the blood rushed away from the pressure. A fingertip would be best, she decided, but she chose to use her pinky finger since it was the least useful.

She took a deep breath, digging into the pad of her finger. Tears welled in her eyes, but she managed to break the skin. Kate washed the blood from the plastic and left it beside the cup with the pill. She watched a bead of blood well in the little cut, half entranced, and walked up to the wall left of the door. She stood on her tiptoes and ran her pinky down half of the white tile. The scarlet was rather aesthetically pleasing, she noticed, and then washed the cut.

She flopped down on her bed and fidgeted with the heavy chains until she was some semblance of comfortable, then shut her eyes.

 

* * *

 

“This is your allowance.” Stark pulled up a small application on the datapad he had so _graciously_ gifted Loki. “You’ll get one-hundred dollars weekly, and you can spend it on whatever the hell you want—drugs, girls, shoes, _whatever_ —as long as it doesn’t endanger anyone.”

“What of food? Does that get taken out?”

“No. You buzz down and ask for food and someone will bring it up for you. Same with any necessities. Someone will be monitoring your spendings, and if you spend anything on necessities, it won’t be taken out.”

“What exactly are _necessities?”_

“Food, clothes, anything not taxed.”

Loki sighed. _“Wonderful._ Now, leave.”

Stark let out a little huff of laughter. “Yeah, that’s not going to work around here. You use your manners, and you still don’t have all that much power. Get used to it, Reindeer Games, because it’s not going away anytime soon.”

Loki rolled his eyes.

“By the way, I should tell you: if you try to smuggle anything, _anything at all,_ past security, it will be confiscated, and you will have to return it personally with a nice little smile and an apology.”

“You assume I will be caught.”

Stark laughed. “Yeah, after outings you’re going to be strip searched.”

He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying Loki’s reaction, which was a mix of discomfort and offense. Loki grabbed the mortal by the neck, raising him up so they were eye-level. “If any of your lackeys lay a hand on me, you will find this entire building razed to the ground, your company with it.”

Stark quickly grew blue in the face. He looked like he was trying to say something, so Loki dropped him. After he spent a few moments gasping, he looked up. Loki smirked. _Where you belong._ He raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“That’s the one chance you’re going to get. _You_ lay a hand on any of my lackeys and, as I believe _Daddy_ put it, _the title ‘Your Highness’ will never grace your ears again.”_

Loki glared down at him. He hated that the mortal was right almost as much as he hated the mortal himself.

Stark stood. “I have more important things to do than exist in the same room as you, so have fun in your role as another one of my lackeys.”

Loki was fuming as Stark used his keycard to open the door. “Will I get one of those?”

“Once you learn how to behave, yes.” With that, he left.

So, he had until that night to ‘learn to behave’ and get back to Kate on time. _Challenge accepted._

 

*          *          *

 

It took _far_ more than one evening.

It was three weeks _and_ a day before they gave him his own keycard. Up until that point, he spent most of his time in his chambers or with agents when he was permitted to leave ‘under the required amount of supervision,’ as Stark put it.

But, in the end, he had succeeded and now had slightly more freedom. As soon as he had the card, he took it and the debit card Stark gave him and left.

Loki hadn’t realized how much he missed fresh air until he breathed it again. Sadly, that wasn’t until he managed to slip away and use his seiðr to teleport to Kate’s general location. It was taxing and using the Bifröst was easier, but it was all that was available, so it would have to do.

Loki shapeshifted into a crow, finding her house and landing on the roof, where he shapeshifted into a fly. It wasn’t difficult for him to fly down the chimney and he got inside with relative ease.

There on the couch sat his little mortal, a cup of coffee balanced on her knee while she read a book.

He would have smiled, were he not an insect.

It was a Saturday, so she would be expecting him. Loki hesitantly cast out his mind. He met the dog first, who was closer to the hearth. The little beast felt abandoned, with an undertone of rage.

Loki had felt the thing’s thoughts before, and they’d never felt like this before. They were always happy-go-lucky and content. He hit Mars next, who was on the lower shelf of the coffee table. She looked to be lounging, but her entire being was on high-alert.

A sinking feeling hit him. When he met Kate’s mind, he was greeted by metal. Loki flew into the air. He was so quiet he disturbed neither the cat nor dog, but he was enough of a distraction that Kate looked up at him.

As her grey irises flickered across her eye, he saw the slight mechanical movement. It was so subtle no mortal would pick it up, but even with a fly’s kaleidoscopic vision, he saw it. He saw the little jitter as miniature gears shifted and how her reaction was slightly more delayed than it should have been.

He was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters from here on out should be longer than those previous. I'm trying to squeeze more into them rather than the short not-too-plot-filled ones seen so far.


	17. Navy | Cotton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: New World Order, Vanquish

‘A few days,’ as Coulson had said, turned into _far_ more than that. At some point, Kate got into the routine of tallying before her midday meal, so she could thoroughly scrub clean the little cut that never fully healed while she showered. According to her tallying, it had been 28 days.

She had hoped to be able to cut herself by now. Kate damned that awful little part of her, the part that wanted the adventure and made her hold off; she just wanted to hear what Coulson would say.

She just wanted to laugh in his face.

She hadn’t laughed in a while, she realized. The only thing she’d really done as of recent was sleep.

Well, _sleep_ was an exaggeration. Since getting forcefully taken off her mental medication, her disorder had crept back into her mind, and now most nights Kate couldn’t fall asleep without vomiting due to an anxious adrenaline rush.

Her lights dimmed sometime after her evening “meal,” and it was at that time Kate would unzip her jumpsuit top, let it rest along her chains, and start pacing around the room. Sometimes she would sit on her bed and rock. The movement and stress warmed her up, but the lack of clothing outside of her bra helped cool off her chest.

It would always end the same way no matter what she did: curled up crying and chugging down water straight from the sink’s faucet. She would them vomit back up said water—attempting to lose one’s lunch when there _was_ no lunch was never fun—then pass out at some point on the tile due to the inevitable adrenaline crash.

She’d tried talking to the guards, but neither said anything anymore. Talking to herself could only get so much done, so at some point, Kate started talking to an old friend of hers.

When she was little, Bella had always been someone to turn to. She was a pretty ballerina with porcelain skin and a perfectly-made bun of dark brown hair atop her head. She always walked on her tiptoes.

No matter how hard she tried, Kate could never conjure up a tangible face for her, so, she wore a plain white mask with no eyes, nose, or mouth holes. Bella’s voice was silky and smooth—it took Kate awhile to realize it was Leanna’s—and she was always smiling.

“Hey, Bella?” Her voice was rough, and she cleared her throat. Kate sat on her cot, desperately attempting to draw up the comfortingly-cold chill she had learned to love so quickly; she was _different,_ she was _special._

Since her imprisonment, she couldn’t find the power anywhere.

“Yes, little one?” It was Bella’s favorite nickname for her.

Kate didn’t know what to say. “I dunno… I just like knowing you’re here.”

Bella, who had appeared in the corner and was examining the bloody tally marks, walked over. She sat down on the cot beside Kate, resting her nimble hand on her friend’s knee. “I am always here.” Bella curled a lock of hair behind Kate’s ear—Kate, in reality, doing it for her—and gave her a side-hug. “I will not leave until you ask me to.”

“I know.”

When Kate was ten, she’d decided she was a big kid and didn’t need Bella anymore. The ballerina had faded, and Kate had only felt a _little_ bad for abandoning her. Hearing her say she didn’t mind made her feel better; Bella was not hurt by her letting go—by her growing up. _I suppose I’m still just a child, then._

“There is nothing wrong with needing a friend, little one. You know that humans are pack animals.”

She smiled a little and hoped Bella wouldn’t know it was forced. “I know.”

A comfortable silence settled between them, the only sound disturbing it being Kate’s breathing.

“Hey, Bella?”

“Yes?”

“Should I still be mad at him?” Half her conscious was saying yes, but half of it was saying no. Her pride told her not to forgive him, but her mind was getting tired of being angry at him; it needed the energy to be mad at S.H.I.E.L.D. and herself. Besides, she wanted to be able to smile when she saw him again— _if_ she saw him again. It was unlikely.

“What do you think?”

“I think he lied to me.”

“And he is the God of Lies.”

Her voice was barely a whisper when she next spoke. “But he also said he was trying to protect me.” She didn’t want to admit it.

“And he brought out your abilities.”

Kate looked at Bella. She knew Bella would know she had turned to face her. Bella always knew. “Are you trying to convince me or not?”

Bella laughed, her eyes shining. “I am merely stating the facts. What you decide it up to you.”

Kate blinked and let her eyes fall to the tile between her knees. She sighed. Bella brushed a light kiss on her temple.

There was a beep, and Kate looked up, Bella fading as her concentration went elsewhere. Her door slid open to reveal an oddly familiar face. It took her a moment, but Kate recognized the man as the third one who’d been in the van with her. He had a soft face and an even softer smile on his lips.

“Kate,” he said.

 _“Katherine,”_ Kate grumbled back. She made a vow to not get personal, no matter how desperately she wanted a friend.

“Very well, Katherine.” He walked up to her and offered his hand to shake. “It’s good to finally see you awake.”

Kate raised her eyes to look at him. She lifted her hand with a bit of a struggle, pushing his back down to his side. He didn’t seem offended.

“Why am I here.” She didn’t bother changing the tone of her voice to indicate a question.

Coulson sat down on the cot beside her. He was far enough away that they did not brush arms, but close enough Kate felt his presence beside her. “You put on a little show a few weeks ago, and it piqued S.H.I.E.L.D.’s interest.”

“If I _piqued your interest,_ then why am I in chains?”

Coulson sighed. “I spoke against it, but Fury insisted.”

Her eyebrow quirked. “Fury, as in Nick Fury?”

“Yeah, I know—we tend to get that reaction. Most people don’t believe us at first.”

Kate sneered. “You start to believe things when you find out you have magic powers.”

Coulson huffed out a laugh. “Well, not exactly _magic,_ but _powers,_ yes.”

 _You don’t even know,_ she laughed to herself, but feigned arrogance. “Very well, have it your way— _powers.”_ For a moment, Kate thought she sounded like Loki. “Now, let me free. You have no right to do this.”

“We have a warrant.”

“Somehow I tend to think your supposed _‘warrant’_ is _unconstitutional.”_

Coulson laughed again and briefly hung his head. He tried to look her in the eyes, but she refused to meet his. “Act like you’re high and mighty around Fury and you’ll get a good few licks from him.” He stood and took the chair from where it sat in front of the table, carrying it over and sitting down. “I’m Agent Coulson, by the way, you can call me Phil. Ask any and all questions, and I’ll answer what I can.”

 _How_ oddly _familiar,_ Kate thought. She was getting tired of not knowing things. “How am I still the same weight when I haven’t eaten any food in—” she glanced at the wall behind him “—twenty-eight days?” She already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear Coulson say it.

“Thirty-one days, if you want to split hairs, and it’s the pills.”

Kate made a mental note to add three more tallies to her wall. “How do they work?”

“That’s classified.”

She scoffed. “So, you don’t know.”

His mouth thinned into a line, but he let out another little breath of laughter. “You already have me figured out, don’t you?”

She looked at him, once again not lifting her head, and decided she would let him buy into the idea that she thought she knew everything. “You’d be surprised what one can figure out when all they have is their mind.”

“Would I?” He dragged her chains a bit, so they had more give. “Who were you talking to?”

“That’s classified.”

He sighed. “I guess I deserve that.”

“You locked me in a room and left me here, the only words being ‘see ya in a few days,’ which turned into _twenty-eight._ If you think all you deserve is a bit of mouthing off, then _you_ are the high and mighty one.”

He hung his head as if he felt genuinely guilty. Kate raised her lip. “Why can’t I use my powers?”

“It’s for the safety of you and us.”

“I want them back.”

He looked up at her and smiled. “Now, we’re getting somewhere. I can help you with that.”

She expected him to continue and cut him off before he could. “All I have to do is check the ‘I have read the terms of service’ box?” Her voice was thick with sarcasm.

“Not exactly.” Coulson leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “We can’t have any sort of liabilities, so we’ll have to…” he faded off. “We have to—”

Kate filled in the words he was looking for. “Brainwash me? Erase my memory? Give me no reason to leave?”

His mouth opened, froze, then closed again. “How did you know that?”

Kate could feel her stomach drop and prayed Coulson wouldn’t notice. _Be the Loki,_ she told herself. She let out a sigh, rolling her head around the collar and cracking her neck. “I’m a _liability,_ aren’t I? And I’ve seen enough sci-fi movies to know how these things work.”

His shoulders sagged slightly. It was such a slight movement that Kate almost didn’t notice it. “Yes.”

She felt sick.

“So?”

Kate pursed her lips. “So _what?”_

“Will you join S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

She gave him a look. She wanted to say “who do you think you are?” but opted for a simple “no.”

Coulson sighed. He patted her on the knee. “Think about it.” Then, he got up, and walked towards the door.

“I want food.”

He turned around as the door slid open. “We _need_ you.” Then, he walked out and it shut behind him.

Kate stared at the floor for a few moments. She closed her eyes, leaning forward to rest her head in her hands and sighing.

Suddenly, she let out a yell of frustration, kicking the chair across the room and letting it trip over the chains and fall to the floor with a clang. She could feel her blood pumping through her veins. She looked at the wall. Slowly, she got up and dragged her chains over to her little calender, and, with only a slight wince, reopened the little slit.

Three more bloody tally marks joined the others.

 

* * *

 

Loki sat in the government vehicle, parked in front of a tailor shop. He was with one of the spare agents—one of the ones who wasn’t as easily recognized as the  _mighty Avengers._ At the moment, he wore a simple glamour to change his appearance, and was waiting for his appointment to be _measured._

“I do not see why we had to come _here_ for such a simple task. I can dress myself.”

“Boss’ orders.” The Agent called Moore said from the seat beside him. He checked his watch for the third time in the past ten minutes. “Coulson says he wants to help you adjust to your new lifestyle by doing some of the activities civilians would do.”

Loki scoffed. “Am I going to be _golfing_ with my _coworkers_ next week?” He’d never understood the interest in wearing tacky clothing and strategically hitting a tiny ball across a field. The fact mortals considered it to be a ‘sport’ was mildly— _very_ mildly—confusing.

“Unless you’d like me to suggest that to him, no.”

“If I find I will _ever_ be doing such a task, I will personally hunt you down and, to put it simply, _kill you.”_

Moore shifted slightly. He was not Loki’s usual liaison—Agent Reid was _mysteriously_ ill today—but the man looked determined not to show his fear. Loki would have even given him a bit of credit, were he not so easy to snap like a dead twig. Moore should have fallen to his knees and sworn to never do such a thing, then begged for his life.

Instead of making him do so, Loki simmered in silence as they left the car and went inside. Moore sat to the side while Loki was measured in various places across his form. Of course, he had done such things back in Asgard, but he had not grown in some time and knew his measurements. Loki knew it was just to keep him busy—keep him _leashed._

 

*          *          *

 

They returned a few days later and, after a few rearrangements, the suit _actually_ fit him like it was supposed to. It was a ‘classic business look,’ as the tailor had put it. In truth, it was similar to what he would wear when trying to blend-in as himself, although he had on a white button-down rather than black one and the suit was navy blue. Despite the slight similarities, it felt _different._ Coulson had called it top-dollar, but it certainly didn’t _feel_ like it. Asgardian fabric was _much_ better.

Agent Reid was cured of his illness by the day of the meeting and he and a thin secretary looked Loki over before he walked into the room where the men of “power” awaited. Reid nodded, as if Loki needed _approval,_ but the secretary cocked her head slightly. Rather suddenly, she rose onto her tiptoes and reached up.

It took every ounce of his rationality and pride to not grab her by the wrist. Loki stayed stock-still, allowing her to move a lock of hair to a different location before lowering herself back down. She was tall by Midgardian women’s standards—which explained why she was wearing flats rather than heels like the others—but still only came up to his chin. Loki noted that he preferred the smallness of Kate; he could wrap himself completely around her narrow form, and she would nuzzle against his chest and sigh.

It was always blissful when it was quiet like that.

He missed those moments, but any feelings of grief were buried underneath a thick blanket of rage. Loki had canvased the entire building, but could not find Kate anywhere; her magic was stifled. He’d been unable to get anything out of the other Agents thus far, although, it was no surprise—the chances of them _actually_ knowing anything about her were slim. Even in the past, she’d been _top-secret_ in S.H.I.E.L.D..

The secretary nodded her head, bringing Loki out of his thoughts, and opened the door for him. “Loki Laufeyson, sir,” she said to someone specific inside the room.

He entered, and she shut the door without following him in. Loki stood and looked around. Everyone was looking back at him. They were all old men in business suits, with serious expressions that looked as though _he_ was wasting _their_ time.

Fury looked horribly out of place in his usual leather, although his scowl was perfect for the atmosphere.

Loki did not like the amount of power they currently held over his life. If they deemed him unfit, he would be doomed to the palace dungeons for an eternity. He wouldn’t be given a chance of escape—let alone a chance of snatching the Eye of Agamotto and reverting time to try again—and it was there that he would most likely die.

He would _fail._

“Have a seat,” Fury said, and gestured to a chair at the other head of the table.

Loki walked over, sat, and decided he wanted to kill them all. “I understand you are going to be _assessing_ my behavior?”

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson,” a mortal with nothing but a few wisps of white hair around his head spoke, and Loki inwardly laughed. _Your Highness_ was much more fitting, yet they treated him like he was just another pawn. “Have you found your accommodations well?”

He sighed, pretending to contemplate. “Well _enough._ Although, I _would_ appreciate not having to be stripped every time I return from a walk.”

It was Fury that spoke next. “Too bad.”

In the past, Loki could easily sway any mortal into giving him what he wanted. Seiðr was strictly off-limits now, and he was finding it to be an _annoyance._ He _despised_ not getting what he wanted. _A test of my patience, I suppose._

“I do not see why this meeting was necessary. I am aware you are watching my every move on your security cameras; could you not assess me through them?”

“We _are.”_ Fury said. He seemed unable to mask his impatience.

“This is to get a feel for you in person, Mr. Laufeyson,” another man added. Loki didn’t care to pick out any discerning features—these men were all the same to him. “So,” the man leaned forward in his chair, clasping his hands and resting them on the table. “Tell us about yourself.”

Loki quirked his eyebrow. “I’m certain you are aware as to who I am.”

“Yes,” the old mortal sighed, mulling over his words. “But we wish to hear it from the man himself.”

Loki let out a huff of laugher. _I am no man._ “Very well. What would you like to know?” He sat back, resting his ankle on the opposite knee and getting comfortable. He had expected at least a _slight_ challenge.

“You lie, you die.” Fury barked. Loki briefly wonder how long it had taken him to come up with the mantra.

“I am aware of this, _Mister_ Fury.”

Fury rolled his eye.

“Tell us about yourself, and we can go on from there.”

 

*          *          *

 

It had been far longer than Loki found necessary, but _finally,_ he was free. He was escorted back to his chambers—passing Thor along the way, although Loki didn’t engaged in conversation—and left there with a request to stay in for the rest of the night.

He ordered food and stretched out on the couch, staring at the television screen. He found no interest in watching his brother save _yet another_ damsel in distress, nor of hearing about the horrors of another country, nor rolling his eyes at the “humor” of _sitcoms._

Even after the time he’d been here, the apartment still smelled sterile. Loki stared at the ceiling and sighed, closing his eyes. He cast out his mind, traversing down the elevator and through the tower. He felt through every single nook and cranny, but was unable to find any hint of Kate.

He began to worry as he always did, taking off his shoes and pacing. The poor girl was probably terrified, and the chances of S.H.I.E.L.D. giving her her medications were slim; her demons were haunting her at full-force.

Loki showered and once he was dressed, he saw that his food had been delivered. Chinese was… _strange,_ he’d discovered, but it had more flavor than most of the Midgardian food he’d tried, so he was willing to eat it.

He watched the world from his little tower, mortals going about their lives like little ants.

Loki looked at the door. He’d melted the cameras that monitored his chambers long before, and nobody had bothered replacing them. He knew he was not being monitored. Still, it bothered him that anybody could open it if they held a keycard, while he could not—his had been taken away for the night and would be returned in the morning.

 

*          *          *

 

When Loki awoke the next morning, his keycard had been slipped through a small hatch where food and other supplies was delivered. He knew what it meant, and after eating, he was told of his new promotion.

Sadly, his allowance wasn’t increased. Still, Loki surprised himself with a genuine smile at the news. He was one step closer to finding Kate, and one step closer to ending his sentence. _Three years,_ he thought. Normally, it was a miniscule amount of time, but every moment at S.H.I.E.L.D. felt painstakingly slow.

“You’ll be starting training tomorrow—Coulson wanted to give you a day to relax before you do the first bit of work you’ve ever experienced in your life.”

Loki decided to play along with the sarcastic smile on Stark’s face. “Yes, I shall spend the day as one like yourself might expect.”

“How’s that?” He sounded uninterested.

Loki was positive there was some sort of unspoken rule about being with coworkers, probably somewhere in the agent’s rules and regulations he hadn’t bothered to read. “As I said—one like yourself—there will be plenty of booze involved.” Loki could feel the offense taken rolling off of Stark in waves, although the only recognition he received was a twitch of the lip.

“There also happens to be a pretty little secretary who’s made herself clear enough,” he continued, “and with a rather unfortunate _drought_ of Asgardian women, I might as well enjoy what I can scrounge up in this hel-hole. That _is_ the way of the Midgardian man, is it not?”

Stark’s shrugged nonchalantly.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been a little over a week since her meeting with Coulson. Kate had placed a small dot below the talley when he visited, so she knew exactly nine days had passed.

She stared at the razor. What was holding her back?

After her little fit, Kate had curled up in a ball, nursing the wound and struggling not to cry and laugh at the same time.

 _40 days,_ she though. _40 days and I’m already going insane._

She had also had a conversation with Bella a few days after Coulson’s abrupt departure.

 

_“Should I apologize to him?”_

_Her inner voice replied before Bella could._ And just how the hell are you going to do that?

_Bella ran her nimble fingers through Kate’s hair, untangling it gently as she went. Kate didn’t have a brush, and her hair was getting increasingly unruly. Although, she noticed her roots growing back in brown now. “What for, little one?” She didn’t need to ask who Kate was referring to—Loki had become a regular conversation topic._

_“It kind of is_ my _fault I’m here.”_

_“Then shouldn’t you apologize to yourself?”_

_Kate had forgotten how wise Bella could be._

 

She swallowed. Slowly, her hand moved the razor to her wrist. _So,_ she thought, _this is the end._

She’d expected to go in a more noble way, maybe shoving a kid out of the way of an oncoming bus or something. But now, her self-preservation was poking at her, trying to scream the illogical train of thought she was currently riding out of existence.

She let the razor rest on her skin. The sharp blades felt smooth.

Then, there was a knock on the door. Kate startled, the razor falling from her hand and landing on the tile.

“Five minutes.” It was the voice of Agent Snyder.

Kate briefly looked down at the razor. She couldn’t bleed out in five minutes. _Tomorrow, then._

She shut off the water, stepping out to dry off. As of recent, S.H.I.E.L.D. had provided her with a small box of bandages to apply whenever she shaved. It wasn’t uncommon for her to nick her legs, especially because they replaced the razor every three days. There was a small cut on her wrist where the razor has barely glided past her skin, now welling with scarlet blood.

Kate dressed the wound and looked in the mirror. Her eyes were still the same gray as always, but they looked like they had before she went on medication—no, that wasn’t true. They looked the way they had before she went on medicine _multiplied by ten thousand._ Large purple bags hung under her eyes, and there were stress-induced red spots in the whites of them.

Her skin looked paler, probably from the lack of sun. It was to be assumed the pills gave her the vitamin D she needed because she hadn’t felt the sun in—

“Time’s up.”

 _—40 days._ “Gimme just a second,” she called to Snyder. “I need to get my clothes on.”

“Hurry up.”

“I will.” Kate fumbled for the new set of clothing, unfolding it and dressing. Once she had the fabric slightly tucked under her manacles, she opened the door. Snyder attached her golden chains once more and led her through the damp hallway. Kate ignored the glances from those passing by.

“What are these chains for? The golden ones, I mean.”

“To keep you from running.”

“But why are they golden?” As they rounded a corner, Snyder and Jones stopped. Kate took a couple extra moments to do so, but was successful before they had the chance to lightly yank her by the arms.

Coulson walked by, smiling as he passed. Kate had the sudden realization that she wanted to talk to him more. She briefly wondered whether or not to call out to him, and ultimately decided to do so. “Coulson!” She turned her body, her arm getting pulled slightly awkwardly as she did so.

Coulson turned, his eyebrows raised.

“I have more questions.”

“Would you like to discuss my proposition?”

 _No._ “I want answers, first.”

He looked at his watch. “I have somewhere to be right now, but I’ll speak with you tomorrow.”

“What time?”

“Sometime in the morning.”

 

*          *          *

 

Kate paced her room long after the lights went dim.

She had to formulate exactly what to ask, exactly what to reply, and exactly what to retort. She had to memorize what she would do so she could steer the conversation. Coulson needed to think she was changing her mind, but then he would say something, and she could decline with disgusted ease.

But she didn’t know what she didn’t know, did she?

Her mind was racing enough that she worked past the panic, and eventually laid down on the cot, got as comfortable as possible with chains strewn around her body, and closed her eyes.

 

*          *          *

 

Her sleep wasn’t exactly fitful, but it was good enough to take her long into the morning—not that she knew what time it was, really. Time was all blurred now.

Kate remembered reading somewhere that the human body, once no longer subject to day and night, switched to a 48-hour internal clock. Perhaps S.H.I.E.L.D. was just rolling with the natural transition? It seemed unlikely.

Even so, it didn’t matter. She opened her eyes to the usually blinding lights. Adrenaline rushed her system when she was finally able to adjust to the stark contrast between light and darkness; Coulson was sitting in the chair, casually reading a book.

Kate forgot everything she was going to say as Coulson looked up, a soft smile gracing his already-soft visage once more.

She had to admit, S.H.I.E.L.D. picked a good liaison.

“Good morning.”

Kate sat up, wincing when the manacles scraped at the skin on her wrists. They were getting increasingly raw, although the showers certainly helped because she didn’t have the weight of chains pulling her down. “What are you doing in here?” She glanced at the door, wondering how she hadn’t heard the little  _ beep. _

“You’d said you wanted to talk.”

“I meant  _ after _ I was awake.” Kate swung her legs off the cot, stood, and stretched. She needed to collect her thoughts. “I have to pee.”

“I’ll wait.”

Her face fell. “Can you leave?”

“I’ve got agents waiting for me outside.” He closed the book. “I’m kind of hiding from them at the moment.”

Kate swallowed. “Okay.”

She walked over to the little corner, and Coulson returned to his book. In the recent weeks, Kate noticed her arms and legs were getting stronger. They ached a bit from her pacing, but she could see the muscles beneath them, strong and taught. She was losing weight, too. It wasn’t a dangerous amount, just the excess fat on her thighs and stomach.

As she partially disrobed and sat down, she covered as much as she could with her shirt. She made sure to watch Coulson like a hawk to make sure he didn’t turn around to look—not that there was much to look  _ at, _ really.

For once, she was thankful for having a shy bladder. Kate kept her eyes open, her focus switching between the two tasks, and cast out her mind. The room felt just as it had the many other times she’d cast out her mind—cold and concrete, she couldn’t see past the walls—but now Coulson was there; a single splotch of orange in an entire room of navy blue.

His mind was focused on his book, scanning the page and processing the words. 

_ I creeched. "Stop, you grahzny disgusting sods. It's a sin, that's what it is, a filthy unforgivable sin, you bratchnies!" They didn't stop right away, because there was only a minute or two more to go— _

Coulson was using a cockney voice for it all. He glanced at the page number, and Kate was able to see  _ A Clockwork Orange _ in the header. She worked past it, searching further.

She imagined herself like a spy; Coulson probably wasn’t even aware she was in his mind. Or, perhaps he was, and he was only letting her view certain information.  _ No, _ she realized,  _ there would be resistance. _

She had trained herself quite a bit in mental abilities in the recent weeks. It hurt less to cast out her mind now, and shifting passively through Coulson’s thoughts was a breeze.

_ God, _ she missed breezes. She hadn’t felt the wind in ages.

Kate didn’t know exactly what day she had been taken, but forty-one days later would place the world in mid-August.

She located a recent memory, one that sat in the forefront of Coulson’s mind as he got distracted.

It was… it was  _ Loki? _ Coulson was giving him a tour of a building—though she couldn’t tell  _ what _ building—and the God of Lies looked relaxed. He looked  _ comfortable. _ Thor was with them, and he clapped Loki on the shoulder. “Look at you, brother! Already adjusting!”

Loki had lied to her. The whole time.

Kate receded abruptly, standing up in the same heartbeat and walking over to the sink after she had finished the task-at-hand. She watched a blurry Coulson in the mirror, still reading his book, and washed her hands. He had no idea what she’d seen.

She splashed warm water on her face, rinsing the tears forming in her eyes and grabbing the soap bar. She washed and dried her face, ignoring the ache in her chest, and filled a little plastic cup with water.

Kate picked up the pill on the table like she always did, swallowed it, and sat down on her cot. She knew what she was going to do now. “I’m ready.”

Coulson folded the corner of the page and put the book down on the table. He smiled. “It’s  _ A Clockwork Orange _ —difficult to read since the language is a little strange, but interesting.”

Kate nodded without a reply.

“What did you want to ask?”

She sighed. “What are the golden chains for?”

“Agent Snyder told you yesterday; they’re to keep you from running.” Coulson shifted, getting more comfortable.

“But why are they made of gold? There’s glowing blue stuff underneath, too.”

He sighed. “It’s a new technology to help you with your powers. Your room and shower are lined with it, too. It keeps your power at bay.”

Kate hoped her eyes weren’t red. “Then why do I need to wear them?”

“The halls are traversed by other superhumans like yourself. We can’t have their powers going numb, as well. This is the solution.”

“Then why do I need to be chained while in here?”

Coulson blinked, his eyes trailing to the floor in thought. “Fury insists.”

“Why am I collared?”

“The same reason.”

An awkward silence fell between them. Kate picked at her nails. “Do you really get to see the Avengers?”

Coulson laughed. “All the time.”

Kate tried to act curious. Truthfully, she  _ was. _ “What are they like?”

Coulson visibly relaxed. “Well, serums and powers aside, just like you and me.”

“Have you…” She pretended to be sheepish. “Have you met Loki?” She let a little smile of embarrassment turn up the corners of her mouth.

Coulson’s smile broadened into something more genuine. “Have you seen the movies?”

“Of course!” Kate let herself laugh a little. “He stabbed you, and you died. But you’re here now, and if his brother’s an Avenger, then you’ve seen him since his redemption, right?”

Coulson smiled. “Yes.”

“What’s he like?”

_ “Interesting.” _

“Is he tall?” That was something fangirls liked to ask, right?

“Decently.”

Kate tried to suddenly hide her curiosity. “What’s S.H.I.E.L.D. like?”

“I’m afraid I can’t exactly say, but I’m sure you would love it.”

She didn’t reply for a little while.

Coulson pulled out his phone, typed something, then put it away.

He stood and checked his watch. “I’m afraid I have to go.”

Kate jumped up. “What? Why?” She hadn’t gotten the chance to decline his offer yet.

“I’ll be late for a meeting.” He walked over to the door. It took a couple of seconds, but it opened, and he left.

There were no agents outside waiting for him that Kate saw.  _ So, he was lying too? _

She was silent for a few minutes, staring at a wall and processing what had just occurred.

She didn’t know what to think now. “Bella?”

Bella appeared in front of the sink, fixing her perfect hair a bit. “Yes, little one?”

Kate fell sideways onto the cot. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

For once, Bella had no words for comfort. When she walked over and began to sit, Kate waved her off. Bella disappeared as Kate rolled onto her stomach. She buried her face into the pillow, tears welling in her eyes for reasons unbeknownst to her and soaking into the fabric.

She began to cry— _ really _ cry—at the hurt, at the confusion of it all. She just wanted to go home.

“I hate you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, I did not mean to go this long between updates. My schoolwork load has significantly lightened, so it should get easier for me to keep up, but I make no promises for any sort of update schedule.  
> Your love is always appreciated and reciprocated!  
> -Shattering_Aurora <3

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all like this :) It's been sitting in the back of my brain for a while so I finally decided to write it!


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